Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

[zoomzoom68]

I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

But… you’re going on holiday. You’re having a party. Your friend gave you a nice surprise (the plants).

There’s worse things to have to buy all at once, believe me.

I borrow a lot of stuff (and lend too)

Am borrowing a puppy crate, instead of buying one

Also buy stuff second hand

A lot of things we “need are not necessary

A really good way of understanding where your money goes is to write down every single thing over a couple of months then review it. Most spending has patterns and once you categorise everything into regular/ essential one off/ non essential etc you can see where to cut back.

FWIW I bought a new chopping board 15 years ago. It was £45 but is still going strong. An expensive purchase but probably with a cost per use of 0,0001p was good value for money. It is how much you will use something that is the key. Borrowing or hiring can be good options.

Have a good holiday!

you have keeping a spread sheet op?

hmm, i mean do you keep a spread sheet op?

i do

Could you just not use some of your less 'Christmassy' Christmas decorations for the baby? It's hardly going to remember!!

We have a tent that we use on the beach. It is a cheap camping pop up tent not a specific beach tent. We go to the beach a lot It's really useful, we put all our stuff in it, change in it have sat in the pouring rain in it.
It can though get very hot inside far too hot to sit in and definitely not suitable to put a baby in, your specific beach tent may be different but just wanted to mention this.

What are less 'Christmassy' Christmas decorations? I only have a tree, lights & baubles.

I found the baby years a bit like that. The second time round I got a lot more stuff off facebook, it's much better value

I totally get you, OP. And love the sound of the beach baby tent.

@Ylvamoon

My DC never had a pop up tent for the beach! Parasol, hat and blanket draped across the buggy was enough. £30.- saved.

Cool bag you might need, but it should last quite a few years!

Chopping board there are cheaper options on the market. (Not sure how you can break one?)

Surely the plants where already in pots...

No need for birthday decorations... or get less / cheaper ones.

But this just shows how our understanding of safety for children in hot weather has changed. A blanket draped over the pram is now known to be very dangerous, so I wouldn't be recommending that. When I was a child, we ran about in our pants without sunscreen! A beach tent is a good investment in that it'll last for years and in a British summer, also provides shelter when it rains. And is useful for getting changed in.

@dorangme

What are less 'Christmassy' Christmas decorations? I only have a tree, lights & baubles.

The lights and baubles are less Christmassy. Unless you have deliberately chosen Christmas themed ones

Come to the bear pit of AIBU? to get a jolly good telling off for your frivolous spending, with a healthy side order of stealth boasts about household income. Some people would pay for this kind of stuff - wonder if MNHQ have considered such a premium feature (from M&S to S&M?)

Have a good holiday, OP!

I don't think OP is getting told off. People are suggesting ways she could have avoided this spending. Which is what she was asking.

I get you OP, and I think a lot of the replies are misinterpreting what you're complaining about. It's just the neverending stream of "one-off" purchases. Every month I think that surely next month we won't need to spend any money on one-offs, but we always do. Over the past few months we've had to buy: new shoes for DS1 (I normally buy outlet Clarks but had to go full price this time as nothing suitable. He has sweaty feet and foot problems run in the family so he's not getting cheap shoes), breastfeeding vitamins (own brand sold out so had to get Pregnacare ones), a buggy board, flowers for a big birthday, a lawn mower, feliway for the cat etc. All of these purchases are in the £30-£50. We can afford it but it does add up. It's just the neverending nature of it that's annoying, irrespective of the cost. It feels like you're never done, there's always more you need. My only tips are to write down what you want/ need, to park the thought for a few days. Use this time to work out if you a) have the item lurking about already (not the best example, but we ended up with 6 bottles of bathroom cleaner) or b) have something else that you can tweak for a new purpose c) research to find the price/quality compromise that works for you d) see if you can buy second hand and/ or shop around for deals.

I'm a bit confused about the birthday decorations discussion. Surely it's miserable not to decorate for a birthday? It's the best bit about kids' birthdays! OTOH, they're an investment in the sense that you'll reuse them for many years to come, unless you buy into the characters hype each year.

The lights and baubles are less Christmassy.

Mine are quite Christmassy but I've always just used bunting & a banner. Wouldn't think of using baubles.

Lights are transferable but again they would have been redundant as any of my dcs birthdays when small happened during the day.

@zoomzoom68 I don’t really understand why people are giving you a hard time. I have a nearly one year old and the list of things is constant. We’ve had UV suits for nursery, toys for swimming lessons and new summer sleeping bags in the past few days. I do get second hand where I can but it’s an effort searching through eBay/Facebook/charity shops when you need something straight away.

We bought a £10 UV beach tent from
B&M but since going to the beach we’ve used it all the time in the garden too.

Unfortunately if you’re going to buy from Amazon rather than the likes of Aldi or b and m, then you’re going to overpay massively. None of those other than a chopping board are essential.

No baby is going to want to lie cooking in a sun tent, or want to be in the sun for any length of time. A plastic chopping board would have cost a couple of quid. A few balloons would do for decorations.

I totally get the cool bag. Hopefully you’ll have a week of sunny weather and get plenty of use from it. I bought a large one from b and m for about a tenner.

I’m the same op. I buy stuff I think I need from Amazon all the time and I don’t have time to hunt around for free alternatives. But that’s the difference between people like me and people that save a lot - not buying inessentials and finding free alternatives. Maybe we can train ourselves to be better!

Keep the tent. Your beach experience will be so much nicer. Out of your purchases I would have saved on birthday decorations, a pack of balloons would have done the trick, it’s the new Instagram look that I couldn’t give a toss about.
If you think your spending is a problem, try a month of no spending where you have to source things on Facebook groups and Freecycle for free.

Surely a beach tent IS essential for taking a baby on the beach in full sun though?

Plenty of people manage without. A cheap umbrella works too.

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

Many people like me won't pay anything or a lot for baby/children's stuff unless it is stuff that is rare or a second one as you can get some new things cheaply or other people will give it to you.

The best thing you and your OH can do is find a few people - friends, neighbours, colleagues and acquaintances - with their youngest/only child about 12-18 months older than yours so they can pass stuff on to you.

In regards to the other stuff you need to plan ahead-
Plant pots - if you are interested in gardening and have some storage space you should start a collection of containers you can use as plant pot.
Chopping board - go to Wilko or Ikea. A new one doesn't cost £15
Cool bag - they are the things companies pre-covid use to give away free like golf umbrellas and picnic blankets. Next time you get stuff like that keep it. Now just go to Wilko or similar.

You didn't really need to buy any of those items.

Learn to be creative, frugal and resourceful.

"Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without."

I’ve battled this for years, I’m in my fifties.

I was the only one who didn’t fill the party bag with crap plastic, a piece of cake and a balloon each child got. So many mums told me they were in awe of me, well I didn’t have the money but my dc had fun parties and still talks about them now.

Flower pots, I cut the bottom off milk cartoons and make into pots, mainly for growing things to go in garden later or to the allotment.

I tie a huge floaty scarf round a huge sun hat, instant personal tent, ok probably doesn’t work with a child. Use a sheet, tie/peg it to a deckchair /pushchair and pull towards to make a space, instant tent.

Get crafty, save ribbons, string etc from wrappings and make decorations. There’s lots of inspiration on things like Pinterest.

Then with what you’ve saved buy a decent chopping board perhaps so that it lasts and lasts and you save the money on buying lots over the years, all aids helping our children’s future on this planet.

I’ve given up selling things. I seem to be jinxed, if I ever do get interest it’s always a hoax buyer or someone who want to cause me lots of agro. So I just donate to my local charity shop. I have however bought lots of Facebook market place, mainly toys for my grandchildren and equipment for having them here and it’s worked fine. I think sometimes there’s just too much of the same stuff out there, if you are in need of it then you get a good choice, selling well that’s a different matter.

Enjoy your trip to the beach.

Why does a party for an infant require decoration?