Constant need to buy stuff is getting me down

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I seem to need an endless stream of stuff and it’s starting to get me down.

Just a few examples of things I’ve bought this week:

• Tent to take baby on beach for our upcoming holiday to protect him from the sun (£30)
• Five colourful plant pots for plants that a friend dropped off unexpectedly (£15)
• Cool bag, again for upcoming holiday (£15)
• Decorations for baby’s upcoming 1st birthday (£15)
• New chopping board for kitchen as old one finally broke (£10)

I know these things sound like one offs, but it seems to be every week that I need something unexpected like this. Does anyone else find the same?

I’m also trying to sell some old baby stuff including a carrycot, but have had no takers on FB or Schpock. Not sure where else to try?

It just feels like we slave away to make enough money and then spend it on an endless stream of stuff... and on and on it goes!

Just don’t. You didn’t NEED any of this really. X

The trouble at the moment with covid is that ppl have more time ....

I feel so sorry for you getting all this "you should have..." stuff. I totally understand what you going through. As for people thinking you're a spendthrift, that's a bit rich as there are always recommendations for dresses costing more than my years clothing budget as well as chat involving cleaners, gardeners etc. No, you don't a beach tent to shade a baby, however you will make use of it and it can be used as a play tent in the future. I couldn't live without a decent chopping board either. Living on a tiny budget now as I can't work,
I can scour the for sale ads & the odd charity shop but when I was younger & working long hours, I didn't have the time. Also it can be far more expensive to wear out your shoe leather trudging round the shops and end up with nothing but sore legs and a tetchy baby. Going forward, if you can anticipate expenditure and spend a couple of evenings working out what you need, you can flick through the ads & set up alerts etc. don't beat yourself up and have a lovely holiday, it sounds like you need it 😊🌞

I think that broadly there are three groups of people:

1. Those without any spare cash at all after bills, more in this category than many realise, and therefore buying a beach tent for example is just out of possibility.

1. Those with lots and lots of disposable income for whom £30 on a beach tent, lunch out, coffees out etc wouldn't even register as expenditure. Again lots in this category on mumsnet.

1. The vast majority of people who have some disposable income and have to balance their purchases. They can afford stuff but can't afford everything that they would like and society sells.

For the third group, the most number of people, its all about choices. Whether someone values speed and ease, amazon, or purely price second hand or supermarkets or borrow.

In the third category unless you make an active decision not to do discretionary spend then it is easy to spend all disposable income on stuff.

The best advice is simply to decide how much you want to save each month, transfer it out on payday to a hard to get at account, and then the money is simply not there to spend.

I’ve only read a few posts and it seems you’re been slated OP. Of course you need a new chopping board. And you don’t want your baby burning at the beach. I get your point though and I feel like that, there always seems to be something we need to buy… like the gazebo for shade from this heat, the new PE shorts for a child…. However I won’t support you buying everything off Amazon though!!

The beach tent is essential we have had ours 11 years. If we lived in Spain I am sure a parsol would be sufficient however uk weather (the wind on a good day) makes it essential. Also its privacy for kids to change with some statigic towels. Please do not put a blanket over a pram it will overheat the child. I saw others have commented on this too. It's so important. Buy a plain personalised banner and use it every year they are only £20 and my 8 and 11yr olds still finds it acceptable. You are just starting out on your parenting journey and you are finding your money is not your own anymore. I would choose unisex colors so any more children you have could have the benefit from bigger ticket items especially the bikes! Although my DD prefers spiderman anyway. NCT sales are good (pre-lockdown) just do research re-buying and whats right for your own budget. Sometimes with certain items you buy cheap you buy twice. Other times cheap is the way to go so research. Good luck and enjoy the 1st birthday 🎂 celebrations x

Amazon is expensive and more so now people are relying on it. You can often get the same stuff cheaper on eBay.
B and m, range, decathlon, aldi (online) and lidl middle aisle.
But I hear what your saying sometimes everything breaks at the same time.
Dd started secondary last year and it felt like that, just constant.

Wilko is another good one. The quality of middle aisle stuff and wilko is generally very good.

Maybe you need to review the way you look at spending? These are all the costs of having a nice life. A family, a trip to the beach, food to eat, a birthday party etc. All things to be grateful for and what your money is for.

However, if you really didn't want to or couldn't spend it, you could have managed withouy any of it if you wanted to or had to.
Life might have been poorer and/or harder as a result but it's certainly possible. Be grateful that you had the choice .

The early years of having kids do seem to involve a lot of buying stuff. It slows down though.

The key thing is to try to buy stuff that is reusable and will last. Like decorations for example, I had fabric happy birthday bunting that got reused for years (till I left it at a church hall…). Beach tent, buy one that’s big enough for older kids too and fun enough to be used as a playhouse. A baby sized one will be outgrown in a year.

Totally agree about price checking before buying on amazon. Often found the same thing cheaper elsewhere.

Also, there are a lot of products marketed for babies that really aren’t essential. They may or may not be really useful depending on your particular child. So one family might find black out blinds helpful, one family might need a playpen, etc, depending on their lifestyle and nature of their baby, but no family needs ALL the baby things.

@Blacksheepcat

Just don’t. You didn’t NEED any of this really. X

Life doesn't always have to just be about NEED, you can have stuff because you just want it.

Life doesn't always have to just be about NEED, you can have stuff because you just want it.

Obviously, but then you don’t complain about how much it’s all costing.

“StripyHorse

Ylvamoon
My DC never had a pop up tent for the beach!
Parasol, hat and blanket draped across the buggy was enough. £30.- saved.

Cool bag you might need, but it should last quite a few years!

Chopping board there are cheaper options on the market. (Not sure how you can break one?)

Surely the plants where already in pots...

No need for birthday decorations... or get less / cheaper ones.
All this....

except please just use a shade / parasol over the buggy - a blanket can trap heat and take temperatures too high. www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/warning-heat-blankets-buggies-prams-11376197”

I am so glad someone has pointed this out.

OP: I sympathise. I feel that I am constantly going to a shop to buy stuff, albeit groceries. Just this weekend, my pre-teen son and husband opened and completely finished a brand new box of choco shreddies. A box with apparently 14 servings lasted 2 days. We easily getting through at least 2 6 pint bottles of milk a week. Plus all the other “essentials”. I’m visiting the supermarket at least three-four times a week. Next week my son has a school trip for which I will have to supply a substantial packed lunch as he will literally be out all day (8am-7pm). It’s never ending.

1. sell things on eBay. Much wider market.

2. Borrow things like the baby tent. Try Nextdoor for things like this. Someone probably has one they used once.

I know what you mean. However you cut it, life costs money. Do you enjoy spending, do you get a kick out of having lovely things and then feel guilty? Just another angle. I’m a big fan of S/h shops, where I can spend away with no problem and have found lots of gems.

Jeez, I live in Australia and don’t have a beach tent for babies or kids. They just blow away anyway. Hat and a rashie, plenty of suncream. I think you are your own worst enemy.

Find a good charity shop and call in frequently.Most of the items you mentioned can be found on them and parents want to get rid of them. I've purchased a jumperoo, sleepyhead, Galt playnest , little tikes toddler garden and numerous v tech toys for my grandson at a total of around £20.

I hear you! Yes you could have shopped around for cheaper though but sometimes you’re just so tired it feels like another chore. Whoever said put a blanket over a pram instead of a tent is wrong - that’s a fast track to over heating a child 🤦🏼‍♀️

The chopping board is a necessary buy but I wouldn't spend £10 on one, the last one I got was a plastic one for £1 from poundstretcher, and is no less functional or usable than those costing 10 or 15 times as much.

don't spend then?
or don't moan having bought unnecessary crap?

things break, new stuff costs money. I don't know what you are looking for here.
I don't buy things I can't afford.

I know what you mean about always seeming to need to buy stuff.

However you could have save a lot by shopping elsewhere.

For example argos have a beach tent for £15. Wilko likely have the rest. You could get a chopping board in there and a suitable amount of birthday decorations for a fiver each.

I understand you are shopping at amazon for convenience, I do it too but they are not the cheapest for everything.

I used to sell big items on ebay (collect only). Never had much luck on facebook marketplace. NCT nearly new sales were good for selling clothes and toys but I guess they might not be on at the moment.

And amazon are open about the fact that things are unlikely to be cheaper on their site compared to shopping around. You are paying for convenience

I think you could have got these items cheaper if you shopped around. I have an older colleague who is constantly buying things on line. I think it has to do with her having more money now her kids are adults and also she is quite lonely and sadly has not much of a life

IDK if this is helpful but, I used to buy decorations for parties but after a few years I invested in some fabric bunting from Etsy (I have a Happy Birthday one and then some generic ones) which goes up for birthdays and celebrations. Saves money in the long run and less rubbish.

Put an ad in a local newsagents window or post office. You might get some interest. Chopping board use an old place mat. Beach tent not necessary IMHO. People used to manage without them years ago. Plant pots not necessary. Birthday decorations same. Look up some minimalist websites/blogs.