To ask when the physical closeness with your children ended?

[AnAwesomePossum]

DS will be 4 next month. He’s still pretty cuddly and gets into my bed most mornings for ‘bed snuggles’ and tonight wanted some big cuddles and kisses before he’d settle in bed.

On the one hand, I struggled a bit with the the lack of physical space (we co-slept and breastfeed until 2), and I was so grateful for my space again. On the other hand, those lovely little skinny arms wrapped around me are the loveliest thing.

So I’m both excited for independence but also really sad thinking about him not just running up for a cuddle and a soggy kiss. What age did it stop with you DC and did it feel fine, or was it a sad event when you realised it was over?

DS is 16 in November. Still happy to give kisses, cuddles & say love you. Even in front of his mates.

DD(16) is still very affectionate and I don't see any reason why it should stop. Hope not!

That’s really reassuring. DS is very loving and close with me and I really hope it continues. But I had a really awkward upbringing with my parents and I literally can’t remember the last time I cuddled either of them (let alone kiss) so I worry about losing it.

I think it depends on the child and your relationship.

My ds10 has never been cuddly and since he was around 9 months would push me away and not want cuddled or physically comforted.

My ds6 has always been super cuddly and affectionate and I can't see that changing for a while.

Exactly the same as PP here

I’m still cuddly with my parents and sister. They’re 64 and 63, and we’re 32 and 34. So... never?

You let your kids choose.

My 24 year old loves hugs and close contact. My 12 year old likes her space. Your boy will let you know when it stops

It decreased dramatically Literally overnight when she started secondary school. So, 11. She'll still get in to bed for a cuddle but not cuddling on the sofa etc

My DS is 13 and still insists on cuddles fairly regularly. As PP said I think if you have a cuddly child they are likely to stay that way.

I get pounced on most mornings. DDs are 8 and nearly 10.
They have insisted DH gets pyjamas now so he can still have morning snuggles.

My 15 year old DS still comes to my bed for a hug and chat before going to his own bed.

My 10 year old likes the occasional hug but he is very private. My 6 year old daughter on the other hand has no boundaries at the min!

My 14 yr old DD wants hugs daily and a big hug at bedtime.

21 year old son gives good hugs, always up for a chat.
20 year old daughter gives hugs. A tad reluctantly at times, but will snuggle on the sofa with me when she's home. She loves a good gossip though, so we talk at least weekly, and exchange rubbish memes and tik toks almost daily.
The love and contact is still there, but sometimes portrayed differently to how it was when they were younger

Aww, thank you! This is making me feel much better. I had a bit of a wobble today worrying that I was on limited time so didn’t want to let him go again (even though I know we would still have a few years). My childhood is all I have to go on. My mum (who I am NC with) was the more affectionate one, but had serious MH problems. My dad (who I am still in contact with) can be cold, but I think it’s awkwardness.

I don’t feel like either of my parents but my entire basis for child/parent relationships are based on them so I worry, though probably unnecessarily

Hahaha sometimes I ask my 16m old for a cuddle and she very firmly tells me “no”.

But she likes to cuddle a lot so I’m not too heartbroken over it. I can’t bear to think about not being physically close with her.

By about 9 or 10 he was over it. I am literally not allowed to touch him in any way, even a hand on his back. I'm 'allowed' to say 'love you' - as long as it's only when he's he's going out or going to sleep.

eldest two (13&14) very cuddly still, but only in private.
the youngest (11) still sometimes gets into our bed if they can't sleep.

tbh, your dc will have a phase of bad smell as pre-teen where you will be thankful of some distance :o

My daughters 23. When she’s home she cuddles and kisses me when she first sees me, to say hello and kisses me good morning and good night every night when she’s here.

When she’s in her own home she texts me good morning every morning snd gnite love you, every night.

We are very openly affectionate, it’s not like when she was an infant, but a hug and a kiss on the cheek is quite normal.

Mine are 8 and 5 and both very cuddly. 8 year old reaches for my hand on the walk to school, drops it as we come in sight of the school gates and will grab it again on the way home. It's lovely

DS1 - very cuddly until he was about 7/8

DS1 - never cuddly at all as a baby, hated being held to sleep etc. Went through a phase about 5/6 years old when he liked holding my hand! Short lived though as he then reverted back to being Mr Independent

DS (13) actually put his arm around me when we went for a walk yesterday. He still likes and initiates hugs. Don’t despair op!

My DS1 will nearly 20, still cuddles me every day!

You're all making me feel a bit sorry for my mum.

I'm not remotely cuddly. 🤣

I don’t feel like either of my parents but my entire basis for child/parent relationships are based on them so I worry, though probably unnecessarily

Don’t be. I group up in an abusive home. I learned how to parent from them. Basically if they did it. Then I didn’t. I did the opposite. Worked fantastically well.

Anything your parents did that made you feel bad. Don’t do it. Anything they didn’t do that you wanted them to do. Do it for yours.

We make our own mistakes as parents, but you can learn what not to do from yours.