To ask when the physical closeness with your children ended?

[AnAwesomePossum]

DS will be 4 next month. He’s still pretty cuddly and gets into my bed most mornings for ‘bed snuggles’ and tonight wanted some big cuddles and kisses before he’d settle in bed.

On the one hand, I struggled a bit with the the lack of physical space (we co-slept and breastfeed until 2), and I was so grateful for my space again. On the other hand, those lovely little skinny arms wrapped around me are the loveliest thing.

So I’m both excited for independence but also really sad thinking about him not just running up for a cuddle and a soggy kiss. What age did it stop with you DC and did it feel fine, or was it a sad event when you realised it was over?

I hug my parents. There's nothing like a hug from my mum and dad. I'm a fully grown adult.

Haha is nearly 20!

21 year old ds is an affectionate bugger. He loves hugging me, his siblings and even his step-dad.
16 year old dd loves a hug too. So as above - never! 🥰

Both of my lads are still tactile and cuddly at 21 and 17, can't see it ever ending in our family. My 15 year old daughter is not cuddly as such but we are close and we talk about everything and anything, go to the gym together and I was very honoured last week when she said I was one of best friends! 😊
I wouldn't worry about losing cuddles, closeness in a family can been shown by other things getting together at the end of the day to chat over dinner, funny movie/game nights. It's not all sunshine and rainbows all of the time but I've had a good few weeks recently.

They still wanted “tucked in” until 15ish and the ones that live at home still come for a bed time hug but it’s now my bedtime as they are invariably up later than I am!

11 year old DS likes a hug and kiss goodnight. Likes to hug if sad. Likes to cuddle up on the sofa. Stopped liking kisses as much at some point. But he is very generous with his i love yous too.

DD7 also lovely and cuddly x

There are no rules!

All mine are grown up and although its only a quick hug and kiss, its every time I see them.

Regular hugs with ds who is 14...not when his mates are around though.

Mine are 35 32 and 20 still cuddly.

@Bluntness100 Thank you. I need to hear that. My dad used to hit me and my mum was emotionally abusive (‘I wish I’d never have had you type thing’) so it does confuse my way of thinking.

That said, I don’t feel (or act) any of those ways to DS but it means I don’t really know what a healthy parent/child relationship is supposed to be other than just meddling through myself. So I worry about ridiculously trivial things because I have no set baseline for it.

DCs 11 and 14, still as cuddly as ever. Both love hugs, kisses and snuggling up on the sofa, can't see that ever changing

My 10 year old DD is still a huge lover of a cuddle and would sleep in my bed every night if she could!

Saying that, I wasn't brought up in a hugs and kisses household. I don't hug my DM now because I don't remember being hugged growing up. It hasn't stopped my relationship with my DCs being very tactile though.

I’m still cuddly and kiss my parents and I’m 30. They’re 61 & 59 so hopefully never! My 8yo is still very cuddly too

I still hug my mum and sisters! I'm nearly 36.

DD 13 isn't cuddly but we hang out and she puts her legs over mine.
DS 13 is very cuddly and held my hand during a long walk the other week, not caring when we passed other people.

I used to think that my dc would stop hugging me, now I think that they probably won't.

I did not really hug my parents very much because neither them nor I were huggy people really although very affectionate in other ways.

Dhs mum is a cuddle monster and still hugs 52 year old him.

My dds are pre teens and we are very cuddly. Literally one of the best things ever is when they get into our bed in the morning and have a huge cuddle all 4 of us.

They are the only people I will cuddle though.

@AnAwesomePossum

It never really stopped for me and DH. Our one child (our daughter,) was always a loving and affectionate child. And she still is.

Although she did get a bit distant from about 15 to 19 ish. Not in a bad way, more like she was too cool to spend time with the folks or make a fuss of us. Since her early 20s however, (so for the last 6-7 years,) she has gotten very loving and affectionate, and kind and considerate, and thoughtful again.

She also loves to give and receive hugs and cuddles, and is very tactile and loving. We always have been with her, and she has known nothing but love from us. So it's not really surprising that she is like this now, with her boyfriend, friends, and other family members.

If your lad is loving and cuddly now, he will probably always be that way.

Ds is 11 now and our equivalent is warming our feet on each other in his bed if I get in and we sit side by side reading in the evening. It's still good.

He's much more of a cool dude now though.

Got four children, eldest is 31 and all of them give me and their dad a kiss and hugs. My third son is very fond of a head rub too!

We are a huggy family.
All three of mine GBB, still hug, drape arms around each other and show affection. In their 20s

Proper love fest in my house. DD who's 7 is always very enthusiastic about cuddles, huggles and wuggles (wet hugs in the bath) and declarations of everlasting love. Also has to sing her special song before bed EVERY night. I suspect I'll still be singing it to her in her 20s.

With 16 year and old DD it stopped as soon as she was mobile enough to escape.
With DS 12 it’s still going strong, despite the fact he kisses me on the top of my head now!!

I grew up with parents who were both young adults during the War and were involved in the War. I think they learned not to get too close to people in the war years due to the numbers who died during the war and after, and those who were horribly injured. I did feel loved but there were very few hugs especially as I got older.

I had children who were only cuddly for a part of their childhood years. I went through some really bad times. By this time, my children were adults and they did not seem to think I might have appreciated a cuddle or some supportive words. I dont think they are all that affectionate with their own children.

A cuddle costs nothing but it seems to be a very rare thing.

@Wrotten It is never too late to hug your mum. She would be pleased to have closeness with you.

15yo ds still wants hugs
18yo ds I can't remember when he last wanted a hug, but it was way before 15.