To ask when the physical closeness with your children ended?

[AnAwesomePossum]

DS will be 4 next month. He’s still pretty cuddly and gets into my bed most mornings for ‘bed snuggles’ and tonight wanted some big cuddles and kisses before he’d settle in bed.

On the one hand, I struggled a bit with the the lack of physical space (we co-slept and breastfeed until 2), and I was so grateful for my space again. On the other hand, those lovely little skinny arms wrapped around me are the loveliest thing.

So I’m both excited for independence but also really sad thinking about him not just running up for a cuddle and a soggy kiss. What age did it stop with you DC and did it feel fine, or was it a sad event when you realised it was over?

I think it just feels right not to be so close after age 6/7ish - little by little

What a strange and sad way to think.

I agree with pp that this thread is lovely, because there are many people on here - born in the 1950s to 1970s - who didn't get much love and affection and cuddles from their parents

That wasn't the experience of me, DH or my friends - all born in 1960s and grew up with at least one affectionate parent. They didn't constantly say "I Iove you" but they didn't need to. We knew.

10yo DD will very occasionally put her head on my shoulder if we’re watching TV on the sofa together, but other than that I have to get my cuddles from her 5yo sister! (And she’s been like that for at least 2 years.)

I’m not much of a cuddler with anyone except my toddler who I can’t get enough of cuddling. I hope she stops liking it before I do! Although her love of cuddles is directly correlated to how much snot she wants to wipe on you, which ideally she would grow out of fairly soon. As I keep pointing out to her, she’ll never find a husband carrying on like that, but she seems unfazed.

My oldest DD is cuddly but no longer lives at home, second and third daughters not particularly cuddly but I get one before they leave, they too no longer live at home. Occasionally get a hug from Ds14. DH wouldn't ever think of giving a hug. Haven't been hugged or touched for months unless for DTD. I feel very alone. I really miss small children.

DD also pulled away from me when starting secondary. 6 months later she would cuddle me again and will cuddle on the sofa again. No kisses in general though!

DS, early 30s, gives me a huge cuddle every time we see each other. We went to the pub recently and he sat holding my hand. Between ages 12 and 18 he would always walk several paces behind DH and me, but the affection we'd had when he was a child came back as he got older.
DD and I (she's also early 30s) will walk down the street holding hands or with arms round each other's waists. She's my best friend and I'm hers.
If you give love when they are children you will get it back in spades when they grow up.

Twenty eight, recently married and still cuddly. Others are too. Why would it disappear?

My DD loved kissing and 'huggling' me - I used to say one day you will huggle me less and less - an hour will go without any physical contact then an afternoon then a day etc etc
She got upset when I said that ....

She is now 15 and it has come true
She will not hug / peck on the cheek.
If I ask for a kiss she will point the top of her head towards me but that's it.

Ds’s 14&18 here.. both still like to cuddle up on the couch watching a film or chat to me in bed morning or evening. Both say “I love you” multiple times a day when they’re at home. Of course there are boundaries - knocking etc - but they’re still affectionate.

My 17 yo just came in for his bedtime hug, my 15 yo came over for a snuggle earlier (I asked but she obliged). They don't tend to kiss anymore, although I kiss the top of their heads if I can (both bigger than me), but they will happily snuggle on the sofa and drape themselves over me or dh. DS who is an especially snuggly child, will still often reach out for hugs if he's feeling a bit uncertain or worried.
My dad (I was born early 70s) was and remains a big hugger - if he's upset or happy, or feels esp proud of you or sad for you, you get a long enveloping hug.

20 yr old DS very happy to hug and say I love you, same with my 16yo DS. I can’t remember them being any different...maybe they went through a phase of being slightly more reserved in the early teenage years but definitely very affectionate now

Both my teens will call 'Bye mum, love you' when they leave the house too. I don't know where that one came from as it definitely wasn't something I did as a child: although I suspect dh and I might sometimes say it when we leave them. I think that's mostly come from them though

We are quite hungry.
I am 52 and still get into bed with my mum if I'm staying over at hers. She is 87 and loves our sleepovers!
My DC all hug us all the time and say "I love you" at the end of every phone call.

@MiddleParking

I’m not much of a cuddler with anyone except my toddler who I can’t get enough of cuddling. I hope she stops liking it before I do! Although her love of cuddles is directly correlated to how much snot she wants to wipe on you, which ideally she would grow out of fairly soon. As I keep pointing out to her, she’ll never find a husband carrying on like that, but she seems unfazed.

She might have to work on her technique

Hungry? Huggy.

@HazyDaisy123456 It's okay she is 16, she'll reappear. I hugged DM loads as an adult one of the first adult hugs was on a holiday she said "it has been 10 years since you hugged me" 14 to 24. I made up for it.
Weather the storm.

What a lovely thread to hear about all of these cuddles 🥰

DD is still very cuddly at 11, she will still sit on my knee, DH's and my parents'. She loves a cuddle. I hope it continues for a long time.

DS is 22 and loves a hug from me!