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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About MIL's weird reaction?

107 replies

Ohitsgrace · 05/06/2021 22:15

Just want some perspective on the situation really. The other day I had an accident. I fell quite a way with my 7month old in my arms. I was fortunate enough that neither of us were seriously harmed, but it could of easily gone the other way. Luckily I held onto my ds otherwise he definitely would of flown further than me and suffer more serious damages. The thought of how easily things could of gone really wrong has shock me up. I landed on my back and hit my head but didnt do any serious damage, just had a bad headache and soreness for a couple of days. It was no ones fault and that's okay. What I dont know is okay is my mils weird reaction. It happened in her house and when I was finally able to get off the ground and tell her what happened her first instinct wasnt to ask if me or baby was okay but to say something along the lines of "well at least it wasnt me could you imagine!" Aibu to think this response was insensitive, and made my incident about her rather than the two people that were involved? Yes I understand it would of been ten times more horrific for her giving her age but it could of been just as bad for my baby with his tiny soft skull. The more I think about it the more odd of an approach I find it. I laughed off the fall but in all honesty I was generally shaken up and thought I'd done damage to my spine. Maybe if it wasnt so might hearted about it or mil had witnessed it it would of been different?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 05/06/2021 22:19

She was in shock probably. People say weird crap

Freddiefox · 05/06/2021 22:22

Maybe she meant ‘well at least it wasn’t me who fell when she when holding the baby’ meaning she wouldn’t have been able to save the baby as well as you.

bookh · 05/06/2021 22:23

Yes @Freddiefox that's how I read it. Also her fear if that was me you wouldn't want me holding him again.

Blackdog19 · 05/06/2021 22:24

As Freddie said. Plus people say odd things in shock, I wouldn’t think of it anymore.

BlueDucky · 05/06/2021 22:24

@Freddiefox

Maybe she meant ‘well at least it wasn’t me who fell when she when holding the baby’ meaning she wouldn’t have been able to save the baby as well as you.
Yeah this is how I read it.
Nuggetnugget · 05/06/2021 22:25

This reply has been deleted

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HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 05/06/2021 22:26

She meant she's glad it was you because you were quick and nimble enough to save your baby whereas she wouldn't be able to.

Moonshine11 · 05/06/2021 22:26

Read it as Freddiefox has said

Loubiemoo · 05/06/2021 22:27

I agree with PPs that she didn’t think she could have protected the baby like you did if it was her her that had fallen whilst holding your baby.

OhSayWhat · 05/06/2021 22:27

People are weird. Ignore.

My child had a nasty fall once as a toddler and my SIL immediately said “I’m glad that didn’t happen to A (her child the same age)” rather than saying nothing or fussing over the injured child. Weird response.

Ohitsgrace · 05/06/2021 22:28

@Freddiefox I should of specified she was saying it in context of her back would of been screwed and she is suffering with hip problems at the moment. It wasnt that she would of been fearful of it happening with ds. I could of understood that.

OP posts:
Ohitsgrace · 05/06/2021 22:29

Sorry to drop feed but would also like to add that dp said the same thing and was relieved it wasnt his mum who suffered the fall. Obviously he did ask if we was okay first but I still found it an odd thing to associate to. The fall was of a chair that easily could if been anyone sitting on it.

OP posts:
Summersun2020 · 05/06/2021 22:29

Yeah her reaction was a bit weird I suppose. To be honest though I think you’re being a bit dramatic/catastrophising it too. Do you think her response was related to your reaction being a bit OTT?

Darbs76 · 05/06/2021 22:30

I’d have interpreted it as she was saying imagine if it was her carrying the baby too.

GNCQ · 05/06/2021 22:31

Mother in laws can't say anything right!

Ohitsgrace · 05/06/2021 22:32

@Summersun2020 I'm not over dramatising it as I stated in my op I played it off and was very light hearted about the fall. I only really started to think about how shaken up I was after mil made that remark as I realised it could of gone quite badly. It didnt and I'm thankful and that is that. I'm not fixated on the magnitude of the fall as I said it wasnt that bad but more so the response of someone that didnt even ask if her grandchild was okay

OP posts:
Ohitsgrace · 05/06/2021 22:33

@Darbs76 no it was about the state of her health not anything to do with my baby.

OP posts:
StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear · 05/06/2021 22:33

What @Freddiefox said. Or she thought if she fell with the baby in her arms you wouldn’t forgive her so she’s relieved it wasn’t her that fell with him?

Ohitsgrace · 05/06/2021 22:34

@GNCQ haha I guess it seems that way on mns. She is a lovely person but I was just wondering on whether it was a weird response or not thats all. I dont want to make a big thing on this just wanted some outside perspective

OP posts:
Summersun2020 · 05/06/2021 22:36

No, your OP is quite dramatic. Could have been so much worse, more horrific, spinal damage (??). Based on your later post you fell from a chair, no? We’re you standing on the chair or did you fall from a sitting position?

HercwasanEnemyofEducation · 05/06/2021 22:40

Even with the context its really not that bad. Most people would recognise a younger person without hip problems will probably deal better and heal faster after a fall.

TooTiredForToday · 05/06/2021 22:43

I do see where you're coming from but people say weird stuff when they get a fright. Especially if they have their own issues or worries. If she has her own health issues that is what comes straight into her head and was blurted out. You are in new mum mode so your immediate thought was what could have happened to the baby.

I'm pregnant and was taking the bin out when a garden step broke and I fell down the external stone steps. I twisted my ankle slightly but obviously got a huge fright as it could have been much worse. DH was angry and said he had told me not to stand on that particular step. I was angry and said it was his bloody job to put the bin out - it's not, I don't know why I said that! We were both just shaken up and lashed out a bit. When we got over the initial fright we were more rational.

saraclara · 05/06/2021 22:45

By the time she said it, she knew you were both okay.

And yes, if it had happened to her, with her age and her physical issues, it would have been much worse than what your actual bumps (rather than what you feel could have been the result of your accident)

WimpoleHat · 05/06/2021 22:48

I think “I’m glad that wasn’t me” was an attempt to sympathise - just another way of saying “gosh, that sounds rotten - how awful”. I don’t think I’d read any more into it. Perhaps not the best way to phrase it, rose not if you analyse it afterwards, but probably no harm meant?

Bumzoo · 05/06/2021 22:51

If you fell off a chair she probably thought it wasn't too big a deal and just said her feeling out loud.

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