About MIL's weird reaction?

[Ohitsgrace]

Just want some perspective on the situation really. The other day I had an accident. I fell quite a way with my 7month old in my arms. I was fortunate enough that neither of us were seriously harmed, but it could of easily gone the other way. Luckily I held onto my ds otherwise he definitely would of flown further than me and suffer more serious damages. The thought of how easily things could of gone really wrong has shock me up. I landed on my back and hit my head but didnt do any serious damage, just had a bad headache and soreness for a couple of days. It was no ones fault and that's okay. What I dont know is okay is my mils weird reaction. It happened in her house and when I was finally able to get off the ground and tell her what happened her first instinct wasnt to ask if me or baby was okay but to say something along the lines of "well at least it wasnt me could you imagine!" Aibu to think this response was insensitive, and made my incident about her rather than the two people that were involved? Yes I understand it would of been ten times more horrific for her giving her age but it could of been just as bad for my baby with his tiny soft skull. The more I think about it the more odd of an approach I find it. I laughed off the fall but in all honesty I was generally shaken up and thought I'd done damage to my spine. Maybe if it wasnt so might hearted about it or mil had witnessed it it would of been different?

A lot of old people are absolutely terrified of falling. Breaking a hip in old age could mean never recovering and ending up in care. I do think that it was insensitive of her to say before checking you were OK though.

But OP, when you said in your OP that you fell quite a way I was imagining down the stairs or something, not falling off a chair!!

Ignore her people say weird things sometimes.

I'm glad you are both okay. I did it myself rolling down the stairs with my 18 month old and apart from bruising on me we were both fine. I could not stop thinking about what could of happened to my little one for weeks.

Let it go. Move on.

Older people become selfish as they age. That's my experience

Nice bit of ageism there. Some people get better with old age and some people get worse, but please do not make sweeping generalisations.

@Freddiefox

Maybe she meant ‘well at least it wasn’t me who fell when she when holding the baby’ meaning she wouldn’t have been able to save the baby as well as you.

I would have interpreted her comment like that too, or possible ‘glad it wasn’t me that dropped the baby, I’d never live it down’ sort of idea.

What the hell kind of chair was this?!!!
Like, a lifeguard chair?
How do you fall a long way from a chair? 🤔
You can’t mean you were standing on it changing a lightbulb type scenario, as then it wouldn’t have been anyone who could have fallen, and you wouldn’t have been holding your baby.

Her first reaction was for baby - good.
You were OK. Not unscathed, but OK.
As a PP said, for your MIL it could have been incapacity, care home, start of a serious decline... if it could have happened to anyone in the chair, I think it’s not an odd thing to say.

Sorry, I re-read - she didn’t ask about baby first.
But it does sound like it was obvious that baby was OK?

They’re both bloody odd to make about MIL.

I would be looking at how they both treat you more closely.

I was walking with DH, we turned round to cross the street and he was nearly hit by a bus, really near miss. Both quite shocked, him «I nearly died», me «imagine how my life would have changed in just a second» 😳 no idea why this came out!!! I deeply care about him, I don’t usually make things about myself... so yes, shock can make you say odd things.
I still feel guilty about it years later, I can’t help but wonder if deep down he now thinks I’m selfish/self centered.

It’s a weird thing to say. If she’s usually lovely though I’d put it down to her just reacting oddly in a crisis. Bit weirder of your DH, though.

Do you think she meant that she hadn't fallen while holding ds? Because the outcome for ds would have been worse and you would have blamed her? That's how I would read that comment anyway

You fell off a chair??

Dramatic much?

I wouldn't worry about mil's reaction, but I think you need help for yours. It's a chair, not a balcony.

How do you fall a long way if you fall off a chair?

I know of course that you can be hurt in any fall if you land badly, but I am just trying to picture this massive chair.

Your OP made it sound as though you had fallen off a cliff.

Chair is vague. I cant give too much detail as its outing. But it was in motion and I got flung.

I didnt really post this to get people and try and work out what I fell off. There is a reason why I left it out of my op and trying to be vague. I just wanted to gauge my mils reaction to it.

Just seems a non issue to me

@Susannahmoody it's not and I didnt claim for it to be. It just wanted to know if the response was normal...

@Cocomarine no basically I fell and was told not to move as I was twisted and didnt know how serve the injury was. Someone came and took my baby who was screaming from shock and went and told mil what happened. Apparently she didnt even ask if dc was okay and the person had to inform her that dc was okay and was quite shocked themselves she didnt even ask about the welfare of us at the time. When I was finally able to stand I went to my child and mil was there. She looked and me and just said well at least it wasnt me and that was that.

An object was in motion and you and DC got flung off? Stair lift?

Seriously, your OP made it sound like you feel down a cliff. Trying to be vague is not helping us with appropriate responses though - context is everything.
If you slipped off a normal chair, the post seems overly dramatic and I would don’t give MILs comment a second thought. If it was something more serious (chair lift, rowing machine, trying to think of moving chairs inside a house!), then a first comment from MIL along the lines of ‘oh, are you both ok’ might’ve been nice but again, I wouldn’t get too upset about it. Is she normally ok with you?

If you can't give context about what happened it is really hard to see whether MIL is being unreasonable. From your OP I assumed you fell down a flight of stairs or something and now I'm wondering if it's a swing or something?

Your OP does sound very dramatic so it's hard to know whether you fell from a swivel chair and have over reacted or it was something more serious.

@Nuggetnugget

Older people become selfish as they age. That's my experience Thankfully you are OK. Mil wasn't sympathet and made the situation about her. It's who she is.

What an ageist, generalistic comment to make. Op is speaking about one person, not the entire population.

Op, I'm glad you and baby are ok.

For heavens sake, I imagined you must have tumbled down three flights of stairs, but you fell off a chair! For heavens sake. It is better that an elderly person didn’t have a fall, more likely to break something and les sleekly to heal. Your baby’s soft bones are a blessing when it comes to falls, not an added worry.

*less likely

Older people become selfish as they age. That's my experience

oh god not again. Older people are more frail. IME parents of young children (esp PFBs) think the entire universe must revolve around them and even those of us with experience of being parents know nothing. (see countless threads about entitled parents & work during the pandemic)

OP glad you're ok - i think she was just a bit shocked and i wouldn't read anything into it.