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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

About MIL's weird reaction?

107 replies

Ohitsgrace · 05/06/2021 22:15

Just want some perspective on the situation really. The other day I had an accident. I fell quite a way with my 7month old in my arms. I was fortunate enough that neither of us were seriously harmed, but it could of easily gone the other way. Luckily I held onto my ds otherwise he definitely would of flown further than me and suffer more serious damages. The thought of how easily things could of gone really wrong has shock me up. I landed on my back and hit my head but didnt do any serious damage, just had a bad headache and soreness for a couple of days. It was no ones fault and that's okay. What I dont know is okay is my mils weird reaction. It happened in her house and when I was finally able to get off the ground and tell her what happened her first instinct wasnt to ask if me or baby was okay but to say something along the lines of "well at least it wasnt me could you imagine!" Aibu to think this response was insensitive, and made my incident about her rather than the two people that were involved? Yes I understand it would of been ten times more horrific for her giving her age but it could of been just as bad for my baby with his tiny soft skull. The more I think about it the more odd of an approach I find it. I laughed off the fall but in all honesty I was generally shaken up and thought I'd done damage to my spine. Maybe if it wasnt so might hearted about it or mil had witnessed it it would of been different?

OP posts:
WildfirePonie · 06/06/2021 09:25

[quote Ohitsgrace]@Cocomarine no basically I fell and was told not to move as I was twisted and didnt know how serve the injury was. Someone came and took my baby who was screaming from shock and went and told mil what happened. Apparently she didnt even ask if dc was okay and the person had to inform her that dc was okay and was quite shocked themselves she didnt even ask about the welfare of us at the time. When I was finally able to stand I went to my child and mil was there. She looked and me and just said well at least it wasnt me and that was that.[/quote]
Who told you not to move? Did someone call emergency services?

What is the full story?

Ughmaybenot · 06/06/2021 09:33

This is actually quite hard to respond to as your posts are really vague and a bit conflicting, one to the next. My overall thought is that they’re probably right, it probably would’ve been a much worse outcome had the fall/whatever it was happened to mil, and this is being said in the context that you and baby are, thankfully, pretty much fine.
The problem with a fall is, I find anyway, that while they do often hurt, it’s the shock that’s the worst, and that’s hard to gauge for other people.

MichelleScarn · 06/06/2021 09:34

I'm now thinking its one of those chairs like Cleopatra's litter, a chair, but hoisted high on people's shoulders?

Ohitsgrace · 06/06/2021 12:22

@Anydreamwilldo12 yes. It was a ride I suppose you could say. It was a chair in motion and I got thrown from the air.

OP posts:
Freddiefox · 06/06/2021 12:22

It’s impossible to say from your post, but people say weird stuff all the time. People laugh inappropriately, mistake things. If she’s generally nice. Let it go

Ohitsgrace · 06/06/2021 12:23

@WildfirePonie a friend was with me at the time. When I fell I landed contorted so she told me not to move until she could get my child to a safe place and came back to assess whether I needed an ambulance

OP posts:
Ohitsgrace · 06/06/2021 12:27

@Freddiefox yes I will and have to be honest. Thanks for all the replies I've gathered people say weird things when push comes to shove and mil is abit eccentric in herself so I guess it just comes with the character. I only started to ponder on it when my friend who was present brought it up and highlighted how she was offended for me. But it as I said it was a minor incident in the grand scheme of things everyone was thankful okay so onwards and upwards.

OP posts:
NerrSnerr · 06/06/2021 12:33

I can't be the only person who is intrigued about your MIL having a ride in her house!

MiaowMix · 06/06/2021 13:09

So your MiL has a 'ride' at her house Confused and you thought it was safe to hold a baby while on those 'ride'? Really?

Bluntness100 · 06/06/2021 13:14

I don’t understand why yoire being weirdy vague about the fall.

MargaretThursday · 06/06/2021 13:20

@Freddiefox

Maybe she meant ‘well at least it wasn’t me who fell when she when holding the baby’ meaning she wouldn’t have been able to save the baby as well as you.
That's how I read it.

Or that if she'd been the one to accidentally fall, then you would have gone up the wall and never let her near baby again.

Cocomarine · 06/06/2021 13:22

OK, I’ve changed my mind about the garden swinging chair. Your MIL is a massive model railway enthusiast, right? And it was a ride on train, yes?

I’m also starting to wonder what on earth you we’re doing on a ride 🧐 in your MIL’s garden, carrying a baby. I know people like to talk about ‘Elf n Safety gorn maaaad - but, there is a reason for that.

Bluntness100 · 06/06/2021 13:23

@MiaowMix

So your MiL has a 'ride' at her house Confused and you thought it was safe to hold a baby while on those 'ride'? Really?
Yes, it’s really hard to understand , who has a ride at their house and gets on it with a baby,
MaliceOrgan · 06/06/2021 13:24

stannah stair lift?

Bluntness100 · 06/06/2021 13:27

[quote Ohitsgrace]@WildfirePonie a friend was with me at the time. When I fell I landed contorted so she told me not to move until she could get my child to a safe place and came back to assess whether I needed an ambulance[/quote]
Gosh that’s very dramatic.

Bluntness100 · 06/06/2021 13:30

Op did you fall off her stair lift and that’s why they all said just as well it wasn’t her?

MiaowMix · 06/06/2021 13:37

Stair lift 😂
I mean this story is sounding more and more dramatic with every drip feed...

jazzandh · 06/06/2021 13:37

rocking horse?

GoldenOmber · 06/06/2021 13:41

I was imagining MIL's own private merry-go-round. Doesn't every household have one these days?

At any rate, no matter what she fell off, it's still really weird to reply to someone saying "I fell and hurt myself" with "glad it wasn't me!". Apparently Mumsnet is full of people who think this is a totally normal response, though, so you're all bonkers and I hope I don't fall off a ski lift at any of your houses.

JonSnowedUnder · 06/06/2021 13:44

I never understand why posters leave a key point out of the story, you've already talked about your friend and mil and what they said and the fact you were holding your baby...why not just say what you were doing? If anyone was going to identify you surely you've given enough detail already. Unless she has something truly identifying (Ferris wheel in the garden?) the extra detail wouldn't give anything else away.

jazzandh · 06/06/2021 13:45

I'd assume minimising to save any embarrassment you may have felt, falling off something.

I would have felt mortified, and probably said something similar to her as in " so glad that was me and not you falling .....it could have been much worse"

OhRene · 06/06/2021 13:57

I wouldn't automatically assume she meant it would have been worse if she had fallen holding the baby. But that's because my own mum would have said the same thing, but she would have also berated me for telling her about it as I would have made her upset having to think it.
Personally I'd fall a hundred times in my old age if I could save my grandchild from potentially getting a serious injury from a bad fall.

PurpleSplodge · 06/06/2021 13:59

Yeah too vague to have an opinion really.

Trying not to come across as mean, but why were you on a ride with a small baby that had the potential to fling you into the air?

MoonCatcher · 06/06/2021 14:04

@Nuggetnugget

Older people become selfish as they age. That's my experience Thankfully you are OK. Mil wasn't sympathet and made the situation about her. It's who she is.
The usual ageism on MN. 🙁
VainAbigail · 06/06/2021 14:15

Ok.... so what we have deduced from your posts is that your MIL has some kind of swing ride in her garden. You went on this contraption and fell off, with such magnitude that your friend (who was also at your MILs) had to assess you for an ambulance because you were contorted but not before removing your baby to safety. Your MIL said something which you think was odd but potentially could’ve hurt maybe even killed her if she’d fallen with the same magnitude.

It all sounds perfectly plausible to me, honest.

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