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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Weddings

127 replies

Bedsheets4knickers · 04/06/2021 13:40

So I've been for my dress fitting this week . My daughter and myself are bridesmaid and flower girl . After the fitting the dress lady said so you guys know you're paying for the adjustments . It's £140 both the two of you .
No I didn't know and I'm abit miffed about it . I've been bridesmaid twice before and I've never had this . Is this normal ?

OP posts:
Moonshine11 · 04/06/2021 13:42

Not normal in my experience of being bridesmaid but I know people it’s happened to.
The bride should have told you 100%

SlipperyDippery · 04/06/2021 13:43

In my opinion the bride should pay, but if that’s not the case then she should have been clear with you

firstimemamma · 04/06/2021 13:44

Not normal & the bride should've paid.

PurpleDaisies · 04/06/2021 13:44

You should have been told by the bride. That’s far too much to spring on someone.

PurpleDaisies · 04/06/2021 13:45

You shouldn’t be paying at all.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 04/06/2021 13:45

not your cost, bride (or whoever is paying for wedding) should pay for it.

OrangePowder · 04/06/2021 13:46

I'd expect the bride to pay, but it does seem to vary. Some bridesmaids buy their own dress. The bride has obviously had a conversation about this with the shop though and I do think she should have been upfront with you about it.

Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 04/06/2021 13:47

I just feel abit shocked . She's got 6 bridesmaids if she can't afford it then she shouldn't have so many . We can't afford it . It's not even local so I'm up and down the motorway for fittings and rehearsal . The hotel .
Il get over it but I'm never saying yes again .

OP posts:
Slimmingstar · 04/06/2021 13:48

Not normal. You could offer to wear something already in your wardrobe that you don’t need to alter.......

PurpleDaisies · 04/06/2021 13:48

Tell her you can’t afford it and you absolutely weren’t expecting to pay.

LagunaBubbles · 04/06/2021 13:49

Who is the bride to you? At this point I would be having a conversation with her about this

OrangePowder · 04/06/2021 13:49

Out of interest, in a world where we buy everything off the peg, even quite fancy evening dresses, why do bridesmaids dresses need fitting?

Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 04/06/2021 13:50

Ive always had mine fitted but that could very to 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP posts:
TestingTestingWonTooFree · 04/06/2021 13:51

£70pp is a lot for adjustments. I would think you could buy high street dresses for less. How much do they need to be adjusted?

Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 04/06/2021 13:51

@LagunaBubbles

Who is the bride to you? At this point I would be having a conversation with her about this
She's an old friend of mine
OP posts:
Original poster
Bedsheets4knickers · 04/06/2021 13:53

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

£70pp is a lot for adjustments. I would think you could buy high street dresses for less. How much do they need to be adjusted?
It's a very upmarket boutique, I've never been married so I really don't know what's expensive or not .
OP posts:
WellLarDeDar · 04/06/2021 13:54

I thought it was normal for the bride to pay for BM/flower girl dresses but then they pay for any adjustments they want themselves? That's my experience every time of being a BM. Shows how much I know as a lot of PP are saying the bride pays for it all! I've been had! Normally it's just the length though which depends on what shoes the BM choses. £140 seems like a lot though for alterations. Did the dresses not fit that well or did you not get to try them on before they were bought?

WellLarDeDar · 04/06/2021 13:55

(I should have added that it's always clear whos paying for what at the beginning though so no one should ever get a surprise bill)

valnevavaxx · 04/06/2021 13:56

Think it's weird that they need adjustments in the first place- but agree the bride should pay if that's the case.

roses2 · 04/06/2021 13:56

@OrangePowder

Out of interest, in a world where we buy everything off the peg, even quite fancy evening dresses, why do bridesmaids dresses need fitting?
Because weddings = £££££ just like having to amend the actual wedding dress.

I had mine custom made, sent from China. It arrived fitting perfectly and in two weeks from me sending them my measurements.

People get caught up in the event and think all of these costs are justifiable. They are not.

RampantIvy · 04/06/2021 13:58

I would just say I can't afford it, and wear an ill fitting dress or one held together with safety pins.

DrinkFeckArseBrick · 04/06/2021 13:59

I think if brides have specific requirements for clothes then they should pay. If it's more the bridesmaids choice and something they could wear again then it's ok to ask for a contribution. Either way it should be agreed up front rather than sprining a bill on you. Does it definitely need to be altered? Could you do it yourself instead? Or take it somewhere cheaper if you're responsible for it?

MrsDThomas · 04/06/2021 14:00

You paid?! Jeez, walk away now.

She’s a right one making you pay for adjustments for a dress for her wedding.

NeilBuchananisBanksy · 04/06/2021 14:02

Just take the dresses and wear them as they are. Or take them to a local dressmaker £140 is a huge amount!

Crazycatlady83 · 04/06/2021 14:09

Do you need it to be adjusted? Can't you just wear it off the peg?