Weddings

[Bedsheets4knickers]

So I've been for my dress fitting this week . My daughter and myself are bridesmaid and flower girl . After the fitting the dress lady said so you guys know you're paying for the adjustments . It's £140 both the two of you .
No I didn't know and I'm abit miffed about it . I've been bridesmaid twice before and I've never had this . Is this normal ?

Not a chance! I wouldn't be paying. Or feeling awkward about saying so!

When we married I paid for bridesmaids dresses and the minor alterations. I used a family friend who did sewing
The bride seems to have gone over budget .

I just don't get involved in weddings or hen dos anymore.

People just can't be trusted to behave normally. Even the most level headed turn weird.

I stay out of it! No to being bridesmaid, no to joining any hens, no to all that stuff. Much easier. (And cheaper).

It's been a bizarre wedding from start to finish tbh . Hardly any of either sides are speaking to each other . A lot of family on both sides have not been invited because of the disputes . None of the bridal party know each other . I have a good relationship with the bride have known her from early childhood friends since primary but we have drifted in and out . I'm not present in her life and her not in mine .
I need to take some responsibility for this thread I should never have said yes for that il take ownership. The last wedding I was part of I'd vowed would be my last .
I never expected the call from her and for old times sake I said yes .
She's clueless to how weddings really work they both are to be honest but I do know the are financially a lot better off than we are .
Thank you all for putting my back bone back to me . I'm not normally a "Wet Lettuce " I just don't live in the times where people take the piss and I was caught off guard .

Apparently I'm wrong she has just sent me the wedding etiquette. If you accept to be a bridesmaid you are also accepting the whole cost .
I'm yet to reply as I'm absolutely fucking RAGING

She is taking the piss. I would just drop out TBH.

@Bedsheets4knickers

Apparently I'm wrong she has just sent me the wedding etiquette. If you accept to be a bridesmaid you are also accepting the whole cost . I'm yet to reply as I'm absolutely fucking RAGING

She's talking bollocks. Where did she get that?

Yes I'd drop out too.

This got sent to me

"The whole cost" bless her, she has no idea! I'd be pissed off too op.

Those are the American rules/etiquette.

In the uk if the bride chooses the dresses then she pays.

Thing Is I've googled it too , all seems to say the same . I feel like I'm going nuts .

No way. The bride should pay!
She's a cheeky fucker.

Wtf where did she get that

When I married I paid for dresses, alterations, shoes, hair, nails and earrings... The girls just had to agree to be bridesmaid and they even chose a dress amongst them. I gave them a choice of three colours I was happy to go with. Sounds like I was far too laid back ha ha

Send her this back

Uk etiquette- www.brideandgroomdirect.co.uk/blog/2020/07/who-pays-for-the-bridesmaids-dresses-etiquette-explained/

If you decide to stay being bridesmaid she will make more and more unreasonable expensive demands. She will want you to have expensive hair and make up on the day, plus various other costs. This has to stop.

I'll try again!

:

Brides.com is American. Tell her to look at any uk website. A quick google and brideandgroomdirect.co.uk has popped up:

"In the U.S., bridesmaids are always expected to pay for their own outfits. The bride decides what her wedding party will wear, and they pay for it. If you accept the invitation to be a bridesmaid in the U.S., this expense is something you should be prepared for.
However, it’s very different here in the U.K. Our wedding etiquette dictates that in most circumstances, the bride should pay for the bridesmaids’ dresses. (Or whoever’s funding the wedding – e.g. the bride’s parents.) This is particularly important if:
● The bride wants to pick the exact dresses her bridesmaids will wear
● The dresses are particularly expensive
● You’ve chosen a dress that your bridesmaids probably won’t wear again (because of its style, material or colour)"

You're not the one in the wrong here.

@RampantIvy

If you decide to stay being bridesmaid she will make more and more unreasonable expensive demands. She will want you to have expensive hair and make up on the day, plus various other costs. This has to stop.

No she won't she's knows I'm fuming . She's already re messaged me and asked me for my bank details so she can pay me before my next fitting . I've told her we will talk tomorrow . I'm so bloody mad and have had a gin so I've decided to not respond to it all tonight .

Thank you for the Uk links . I did see these too , she must of too . I'm too old for this shit .

So why wasn't she clear about this from the start?

What do the other bridesmaids say?

I’ve never paid for a bridesmaid dress or adjustment.
However if she wants you to she needs to have told you up front so you could decline. Twat.

I paid for my own dress when I was bridesmaid. Basically it was a budget wedding and the bride had ordered the dresses from China and apparently there was a mistake with mine so I had to source a dress that looked similar. I got one from Debut for £85. She did, however buy our shoes. I am getting married and have bought the bridesmaid dresses and will pay for alterations. They are getting their own shoes. I did offer but they said it was fine.