Weddings

[Bedsheets4knickers]

So I've been for my dress fitting this week . My daughter and myself are bridesmaid and flower girl . After the fitting the dress lady said so you guys know you're paying for the adjustments . It's £140 both the two of you .
No I didn't know and I'm abit miffed about it . I've been bridesmaid twice before and I've never had this . Is this normal ?

I would be contacting her and would say something

@Chloemol

I would be contacting her and would say something

Should I just say I wasn't expecting to pay for this ??? I don't know what the other bridesmaids think about it . I only met them early last year before before covid struck . I don't know any of them

Hi bride, so something really awkward has happened. The lady at the bridal shop said I have to pay £140 to get our dresses adjusted. Surely that can't be correct? I don't have £140.

And see what she says.

Il do that then I can get into a conversation with her about it .

The other bridesmaids might thank me for it .

It’s completely normal to pay for dresses to be fitted but I would expect the bride and groom to take on that cost. Considering how much the woman is charging, the bride possibly was going to pay and then couldn’t afford it because that’s a ridiculous amount.

Why don’t you call the fitter back and explain that you have thought about it and can’t afford her prices, so will collect the dresses and go elsewhere.

Or not 🤣🤣😳. I really do wish people would just go get married by themselves . I've never got into the whole wedding business . The last time I was one they had spent over 35k 4 years later they were getting divorced .

Being a bridesmaid is part honour and part massive ball ache. I’ve done it 6 times and I’m not doing it again. It’s a hard no if I’m ever asked again.

I’ve never paid for the dresses and I’ve never had anything altered. My own wedding dress was £40, off the peg. No bloody way would I pay £70 for a dress I’d never wear again for someone else’s.

She’s taking the piss. She didn’t even have the balls to tell you herself.

If you really don’t want to talk to her about it your other option is to tell the fitter you’re not paying and to take it up with the bride.

@AnneLovesGilbert

Being a bridesmaid is part honour and part massive ball ache. I’ve done it 6 times and I’m not doing it again. It’s a hard no if I’m ever asked again.

I’ve never paid for the dresses and I’ve never had anything altered. My own wedding dress was £40, off the peg. No bloody way would I pay £70 for a dress I’d never wear again for someone else’s.

She’s taking the piss. She didn’t even have the balls to tell you herself.

If you really don’t want to talk to her about it your other option is to tell the fitter you’re not paying and to take it up with the bride.

That's the thing I've never worn my others either . I'd rather she just took them back and tried to sell them on .

It’s unfair to make you pay if she’s decided where the alterations happen. I was a bridesmaid for a friend who lives 100 miles away so I just went somewhere local to have the dress taken up and in, I paid but it was only £20! She probably would have paid but I don’t think I even mentioned I needed it taking up because I just went and the dresses were all standard sizes.

If your friend has decided on something complex needing doing at a specific place then surely that is her cost.

Can you say you hadn’t budgeted for it, can you find somewhere cheaper and go halves?

Just tell her you don't want to do it and save her the hassle. I can imagine you'll be a right help to her on her wedding day

She should have said something. I think it would be okay for you to approach her about thus.

I was in a similar situation myself though. Ended up having to pay for the alterations (and there was no way around it because the dresses the bride chose were soooo long) and the alteration cost more than the dress itself.

I was annoyed and chose not to give a wedding gift since the whole thing cost me so much money The hen was in another country, and the wedding required a two night hotel stay, so being a bridesmaid cost me a fortune in the end.

I've just messaged her and asked her to call me when she's got a moment . I hate doing things like this .

@BagORats

Just tell her you don't want to do it and save her the hassle. I can imagine you'll be a right help to her on her wedding day

I will be helpful , I just don't want to pay for the pleasure .

If I was your friend (not the bride) I'd have serious words with you about being so fucking wet

Ffs! Put on your big girl pants and tell her she needs to pay the 140 directly to the dressmaker

@Atalantea

If I was your friend (not the bride) I'd have serious words with you about being so fucking wet

Ffs! Put on your big girl pants and tell her she needs to pay the 140 directly to the dressmaker

I have , not quite a bluntly as you put it tho 🤣

@Bedsheets4knickers

I've just messaged her and asked her to call me when she's got a moment . I hate doing things like this .

That's exactly how pisstakers get away with it. Again, they never did with me because I was utterly brassic until fairly recently and literally could not sub them at all. If they pulled a stunt like this I'd have to tell them no, no go I can't afford it because you can't get blood out of a stone, and my bank account was the stone (didn't have access to credit, either).

@Bedsheets4knickers

Nice one!!
We're right behind you
If she gives you grief come back!!

This kind of BS is exactly why most bridesmaid dresses are from a shop, where you can just go in and buy something that actually fits. The idea of spending £100 adjusting some naff polyester gown you’ll never wear again is just insulting!

[quote Atalantea]@Bedsheets4knickers

Nice one!!
We're right behind you
If she gives you grief come back!![/quote]
No shit given but she did say at the final fitting The one were we all go to try on and collect and have champers . She said just don't tell the others 🥺. I said xxxx you can't do that to people a few of them have barely worked through lock down .
She's worried about what her fiancé will say as I'm guessing the figures are starting to top up now .

@Flowers500

This kind of BS is exactly why most bridesmaid dresses are from a shop, where you can just go in and buy something that actually fits. The idea of spending £100 adjusting some naff polyester gown you’ll never wear again is just insulting!

I said this to her . We could of done the flower girls in Next or M&S

I would understand you footing the bill if your dress was either drastically too small or big due to a weight gain/loss since you were sized in the dress originally, but not length.
That's not really your fault so you shouldn't be expected to pay for it.

@OrangePowder

Out of interest, in a world where we buy everything off the peg, even quite fancy evening dresses, why do bridesmaids dresses need fitting?

Now that’s a very interesting question. Maybe bridesmaids’ dresses are deliberately made poorly fitting so that the alterations can be charged for!

I would have played dumb and told her that there seems to be some confusion at the boutique; they're under the impression that we have to pay for our own alterations- I told them that it couldn't be the case, as the bride always pays for this. And either way, I can't afford it, so perhaps you should call the boutique and tell them that you are paying?

I'd pull out. Yes, I seriously would. She's putting her own desires above everyone else. That's shitty.

But then, long had enough of this shit. I was a bridesmaid once and it wound up costing me so much I never did it again.