My partner says I should clean more

[Susi2021]

We have a 10 month old baby and I'm currently on maternity leave.

My partner thinks that I should clean more in the house and keep it tidy since I'm at home all day long.

I find this extremely difficult. My baby doesn't sleep well at all during the day, never has, he sleeps maybe for half an hour at a time and then wakes up. He's extremely clingy and doesn't like it when I leave him in his playpen. I need to play with him and sometimes I can sit on the sofa and watch him play, but then I need to supervise him and can't clean.

When he's finally sleeping, I don't feel like cleaning, I feel like I need to breathe and sit down with a cup of tea and relax.

My partner says he could have the baby and clean at the same time and do stuff in the house. He has never been one day without me though since he was born!

I also noticed with him it doesn't bother him to do something else while our baby cries. Case in point I went out to a restaurant with my friend the other day and asked him to look after our son while I was out.

When I came home he was in the middle of installing a babygate ( which I appreciate) while our son was crying in his playpen.

If it had been, I would have had to pick our baby up. I can't work while my baby is crying.

I had this discussion with him many times, but he thinks I'm lazy.

AIBU to think he's massively unfair and doesn't understand the reality of being with a baby all day long?

I know how you feel. In the end though it frustrated me that much I ended up doing things like putting YouTube on while baby was in bouncer chair. also my little girl is a slow eater so I got a lot done while she was in her high chair having breakfast or lunch.
It depends on your baby, but yes you can do jobs.you just have to find out what works. Plus your baby does need to get used to you having other things to do. Now DD is 20 months she's used to it so just potters about doing her own thing.can get loads done.

@stayathomer

OP I don't know how to ask nicely but how much do you actually do? just wondering by the end of today is their dishes etc stacked up and dirty nappies everywhere, or is it just the place needs a tidy or a clean? Because while people can lay into your partner if any of them came home to the place at it's very worst they'd be the same surely, as there is a minimum standard

The minimum standard of sexism is zero. My husband was a SAHD for years. We are a team. If the house was getting out of control, I never made suggestions of how he could be a better wifey, instead how we could tackle things together. We used to work together to meal plan, meal prep, shop, do the chores, etc.

So no, I wasn't the same and expected a 'minimum standard'.

It's mat leave, not housewife leave.

Go back to work.

osbertthesyrianhamster
I honestly might have read it wrong but did OP not say they both cleaned together before the child and he felt they could manage without a cleaner implying when they were both working theyd both be doing the work? I'm saying if the place resembles the lowest it can go, as in the absolute worst it can go, and someone was in the house, I'd say 'but could you not even have put the nappies in the bin, picked up the filthy clothes and stacked the plates at the sink? And yes I'd have said are you ok but we don't know he didn't say something like that