To think this is just a joke now?

[Justinversusmrtumble]

Portugal possibly going back onto the amber list.
The only thing keeping my parents going is coming to celebrate toddlers DD’s birthday in the summer. It’s getting beyond ridiculous now. Feeling so low today, I miss my family so much.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but there’s no way I’d move abroad if I had elderly, frail parents

My parents moved away from where we live and to Europe a couple of years ago.
They are in their 70s.

Was I supposed to follow them? What about DH's parents who are still close to us???

It’s incredibly frustrating Op I’m sorry x

But we will manage because what else can we do? Smuggle them in?

Is anyone suggesting OP smuggle her parents to Portugal? Or are they just saying she's allowed to be upset and hurt by this.

You've banged on about your wedding enough on here. You obviously have feelings about that. Which you're allowed to have. As is OP.

Frustrating and upsetting, isn't it.

I live in Australia, my dad is in the UK and will be 88 this year. Haven't seen him in person for over 2 years now and not likely to before his 88th birthday. Am worried I may never see him in person again - our travel is not only so restricted but our returning quarantine rules, especially from the UK, are so strict that we just can't afford to do it.

So bloody sad

@DreamingNow OP is in the Algarve, her parents are in the UK. I used to live abroad too but I valued spending time with my parents over my job there so I came back. It’s a matter of priorities. Not taking the potential for travel disruption into account is just being stupid, frankly. If you choose to move abroad on the proviso that you would be able to visit whenever you want then you have to at least consider what if you couldn’t - it’s the most basic contingency planning.

Too many Daily Mail reading Tory-voting pensioners flock to Spain for the winter for that to work.

Plenty of us don't read the Mail or vote Tory. We don't live in fucking Oz or NZ, they have a totally different structure and landscape from ours. If you love them and their draconian crap so much, you go and move there. Thank fuck we don't have draconian Kim Jong-un wannabes in power here.

[quote PattyPan]@DreamingNow OP is in the Algarve, her parents are in the UK. I used to live abroad too but I valued spending time with my parents over my job there so I came back. It’s a matter of priorities. Not taking the potential for travel disruption into account is just being stupid, frankly. If you choose to move abroad on the proviso that you would be able to visit whenever you want then you have to at least consider what if you couldn’t - it’s the most basic contingency planning.[/quote]
Of course it is, priorities like a providing your family with shelter, food, clothes, essentials. Stupid people, not being able to foresee a pandemic of a virus that well over 95% of people survive with no ill effects closing the entire world down for over a year . . . should have just foretold the winning lottery numbers with that gift of prophesy and not have had to bother with silly things like jobs .

My brother and his family moved back from Portugal last year after 10 years. They didn't want to be prevented from seeing/visiting as my parents are getting more elderly now.

I hope they can visit soon OP. It's shit for everyone in some way or another

@annie55 oh spare me the woe is me
The fact is, this is about more than individual people. It's a global pandemic and under those rules, certain rights become something revoked or made more difficult for the good of all

And no, I've not seen my family. I've barely seen friends either. My risk is low. I've been vaccinated. As I said, my wedding has already been postponed once and looks likely to be postponed again. My business has gone under.

However, I understand that this is a huge issue that can, and has, killed many people. Not every country has the vaccination program we have, one of few areas that the government got right

Sorry but it is selfish. Yes your family are important to you. But so is everyone else's who are desperate to keep them safe.

We've all missed out. The way some talk is that they are singularly effected and no one else is at all and how dare anyone suggest that you wait.

Life, it's never been safe!

@OhYouDontSay

But we will manage because what else can we do? Smuggle them in?

Is anyone suggesting OP smuggle her parents to Portugal? Or are they just saying she's allowed to be upset and hurt by this.

You've banged on about your wedding enough on here. You obviously have feelings about that. Which you're allowed to have. As is OP.

No I make that point as OP has called me selfish and suggested I lack intelligence I'm pointing out we've all missed out on things. Thems the brakes. I didn't vote for Boris. But my life is effected by those who did.

It is horrendously selfish to give no fucks about the risks there are to others. Remember, there are people who can't due to allergies have the vaccine. Or children who still haven't. Or people under 30.
Until those are done there is a huge risk.
As someone up thread said, the attitude of older people of "well I've had both so open up"- how would they have felt given that originally we were all told only over 65s had to be worried and everyone else had if said, well I don't care I'm under 65 so stuff them?

@osbertthesyrianhamster right, because it’s not possible to provide for your family unless you move abroad what nonsense

@osbertthesyrianhamster

Too many Daily Mail reading Tory-voting pensioners flock to Spain for the winter for that to work.

Plenty of us don't read the Mail or vote Tory. We don't live in fucking Oz or NZ, they have a totally different structure and landscape from ours. If you love them and their draconian crap so much, you go and move there. Thank fuck we don't have draconian Kim Jong-un wannabes in power here.

No we just have a moron who went on holiday and picked out wallpaper rather than attend COBRA meetings and then went on TV and said he has shook hands with Covid sufferers and was fine. Until he got it then it was really important to take notice after it became endemic and hard to remove.

[quote PattyPan]@osbertthesyrianhamster right, because it’s not possible to provide for your family unless you move abroad what nonsense[/quote]
For some people, it's not right back atcha. But of course, it doesn't suit some people's narrow-minded agenda so they slag it off.

Just returned back from the food shop to read all these comments, many of them actually really upsetting.

I’ll address some points:

I moved away years ago when I was young, I wasn’t meant to stay permanently but sometimes life steers is a certain way. I love a 2.5 hr plane journey from home and my family. I’d see them 5/6 times per year, both ways. I’d ensure I saved enough money back for flights. Since covid and the very small windows of opportunity to return to the U.K., I’ve not been able to as I have a toddler and there was no way I could isolate with her in a hotel, or afford to.
I didn’t foresee a pandemic when I moved abroad or a situation where I couldn’t regularly return to my family, if that’s not organised planning then, no I’m not an organised person!! Ffs.

I sympathise with all those suffering with long covid. I myself have since March last year, it’s so much better, thank god, but has been a horrendous and frightening experience at times and exceptionally hard work at times with a toddler with no family support. I’ve missed and needed my family here more than ever.

Thank you for all the kind hearted people who understand and to those calling me selfish and entitled, I’m sorry for you, I really am.

Thank you to all those who have sent me private messages of support, but were too scared to post on the thread for fear of being criticised. There is something very clearly going wrong, many seem to have lost all sense of proportion or empathy.

@osbertthesyrianhamster perhaps, but forgive me for my serious doubts that OP moved from the U.K. to Portugal for work when the latter has a higher unemployment rate...

@Justinversusmrtumble

Just returned back from the food shop to read all these comments, many of them actually really upsetting.

I’ll address some points:

I moved away years ago when I was young, I wasn’t meant to stay permanently but sometimes life steers is a certain way. I love a 2.5 hr plane journey from home and my family. I’d see them 5/6 times per year, both ways. I’d ensure I saved enough money back for flights. Since covid and the very small windows of opportunity to return to the U.K., I’ve not been able to as I have a toddler and there was no way I could isolate with her in a hotel, or afford to.
I didn’t foresee a pandemic when I moved abroad or a situation where I couldn’t regularly return to my family, if that’s not organised planning then, no I’m not an organised person!! Ffs.

I sympathise with all those suffering with long covid. I myself have since March last year, it’s so much better, thank god, but has been a horrendous and frightening experience at times and exceptionally hard work at times with a toddler with no family support. I’ve missed and needed my family here more than ever.

Thank you for all the kind hearted people who understand and to those calling me selfish and entitled, I’m sorry for you, I really am.

Thank you to all those who have sent me private messages of support, but were too scared to post on the thread for fear of being criticised. There is something very clearly going wrong, many seem to have lost all sense of proportion or empathy.

You are aware this AIBU? If you post here be prepared for people to tell you you are being unreasonable. And write an OP that fully puts across what you are angered by rather than drip feeding once people say UABU HTH

Your parents can still come here though, can't they? They just have to quarantine.

Health and safety especially for a virus which is evidently very contagious if not deadly (as qualified relative to other diseases with higher fatality rates) is never a joke but serious matter. Yes emphatic to and for all those (myself included!) with families spread around the globe and the inconvenience of screen time not otherwise normal face to face contact.

The whole point is essentially (apart from absolutely necessary travel eg for food and goods supply logistics) we are minded that this disease is very much ongoing with ever more contagious mutations and spread. Importantly we should not mix internationally until the various geographies are Covid manageable. If we continue to push the laws of nature (irrespective of vaccination) we will not be able to sustain long term Covid containment let alone eradication. The choice is short to medium term less international mixing or perpetual hot spots and new mutations for short termism to squeeze in a two week holiday or reunion with relatives and friends globally. I don’t like the restrictions and would love to jet off overseas, but staying local is preferable to personal and likely more global health and safety dangers. Short term instant gratification versus long term sustainable mindset. Is there any credible scientifically wise choice?

@Bumzoo Thank you 🙏 yes, it’s something I’m really considering seriously, but like everything in life, it comes with its problems. My Dp doesn’t want to live in the U.K., I can’t take my Dd without him or his permission, I guess I’m trapped for now. It would mean starting all over again, selling the house, trying to find a new job, new friends, new nursery for Dd.

OP you don't have to explain yourself on here to anyone.

They are some nasty arses on here at the moment, who really don't like anyone doing anything, even pre pandemic.

[quote PattyPan]@osbertthesyrianhamster perhaps, but forgive me for my serious doubts that OP moved from the U.K. to Portugal for work when the latter has a higher unemployment rate...[/quote]
So because it has a higher unemployment rate than the UK it's not possible she moved for work? 😂😂😂

Ladies and Gentlemen: we have a winner for most ridiculous non sequitur 2021!

many seem to have lost all sense of proportion or empathy

People have different levels of both. For me, not being able to visit family you moved away from would be low down the list as there are numerous ways of keeping in touch during this pandemic. The 150,000 families who have lost people to covid, sometimes more than one can’t do that. I’d much rather live with restrictions than more lose family members until we ride this out.

Plus the country was on the green list previously so visits could have happened then.

I don’t quite understand. My DD lives in an Amber country and and is coming in a couple of weeks. We haven’t seen her in over a year. She has to have negative tests before coming and then two tests in the U.K. She will quarantine with us. We cannot visit her, however, at all.

[quote Justinversusmrtumble]@Bumzoo Thank you 🙏 yes, it’s something I’m really considering seriously, but like everything in life, it comes with its problems. My Dp doesn’t want to live in the U.K., I can’t take my Dd without him or his permission, I guess I’m trapped for now. It would mean starting all over again, selling the house, trying to find a new job, new friends, new nursery for Dd.[/quote]
Yeah, people on MN are particularly ignorant and very scathing about this. You can 'just' move back and bring the kid, no such thing as parental rights in other countries, or you chose to have a child and move abroad, therefore you deserve a flogging and worse.