To think this is just a joke now?

[Justinversusmrtumble]

Portugal possibly going back onto the amber list.
The only thing keeping my parents going is coming to celebrate toddlers DD’s birthday in the summer. It’s getting beyond ridiculous now. Feeling so low today, I miss my family so much.

Some really callous responses, which is unfortunately par for the course. Apparently the only thing in the world we should care about, get upset or sad about, is covid. Nothing else matters. Who cares if we don't see loved ones that have limited time left for a year or two. Who cares if we lose our livelihoods. Who cares if our cancer isn't diagnosed in time. None of that matters. Only covid matters, and caring about anything else is wrong-think and deeply selfish.

If you move away from family these are the risks you take unfortunately. While people wouldn’t have guessed that there might be a time they couldn’t see relatives when they moved abroad, I do think that the pandemic has highlighted how small we have thought the world to be when it actually isn’t.

With travel so freely available in the past it was easy to say “just move abroad, you can always visit,” but it only takes something like this to cut off your exit or entry into a country and keep you from seeing loved ones.

It will be interesting to see whether the pandemic has any kind of impact on people’s choices to move abroad after this, knowing that they could be cut off from their family overnight with no idea as to when or even if they might see them again.

Regardless of covid did you not anticipate that your parents would miss out on seeing your dd when you moved abroad? Yabu

@UnusuallyCommon

I don't think it's that hard to read between the lines and understand it's probably more to do with the fact OP and her daughter haven't seen her family for a long time than a party.

But the OP chose to move to a different country so contact would have been limited anyway.

@UnusuallyCommon

I hate the way some people seem to think things like this just don't matter. It's such a cold non human way of thinking.

Losing out on precious time with elderly relatives, children missing out on developing early bonds with their grandparents and so on... It is fucking important. And the day that people stop seeing it as so is a very sad day for humanity indeed.

You can only expect people to care more about the 'bigger picture' for so long.

Here here... the thing thing that has really set me off is the people bleating on about ‘it’s only one year/birthday/Christmas/graduation/wedding/party/visit/trip to the park/whatever’ to me the people who say this are the selfish ones. They have presumably, been able to enjoy all of those milestones and have the luxury of time to enjoy them in the future.

They forget that for that old granny, she may not have another Christmas, that teenager won’t have another graduation, that wedding may not have all the people who would have been there.

So yes I’ll say it, and you can call me a heartless bastard, I don’t care anymore about the greater good or the masses or anyone else. I care about me and my loved ones who have put there lives on hold for a year.

It’s time to start living again, with all of the consequences and rewards

@Tiktokersmiracle

Sorry but your parents being miffed is of little concern. We are at risk as a whole. A party can be rearranged. I say this as someone facing the prospect of having to rearrange a wedding again because of selfish people who won't vaccinate or quarantine.

This traffic light system is stupid. We should follow Australia and New Zealand and ban all non-essential travel in or out until next year at the earliest.
The current system is open to abuse of people traveling from a red or amber country via a green country to avoid quarantine.
The only way out of this mess now is to vaccinate asap and shut the border.

They wont follow Aus/NZ plan. Too many Daily Mail reading Tory-voting pensioners flock to Spain for the winter for that to work.

I’m a migrant. Haven’t seen my family for nearly two years. I don’t know when I’ll see them again - not this year, I don’t think.

It’s the reality of being a migrant. I’ve never been able to get back in a hurry - it’s a solid 24 hours of flying let alone anything else - and I’ve missed major things that have come up suddenly as well as many, many celebrations.

This is the norm to me. I live on the other side of the world to most of my family and this is how it goes. I miss things. There is no way of emigrating and having the same relationships you had before.

@LadyPoison

Any one who plans international travel at the moment is running the risk of not being able to go or unplanned quarantine at one end or the other.

We're a long way off a return to "normal" as we once knew it.

Some of us "planned" and booked flights in early 2019 which have been rolled over twice and for which refunds aren't available.

But the OP chose to move to a different country so contact would have been limited anyway.

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss We are talking about Portugal, not Australia there.

Whilst I am going back home only once a year. many of my fellow citizens go back home more or less at each school hols. So not much different than what you woulod do if you were living on the other side of the country.
Personally, I am going back home every summer. I didnt do that last hyear. It looks like I won't do this year either. That will be 3 whole years wo seeing my parents apart from Zoom...
For comparaison, 3 years is how often I was seeing my grand parents whene I was living overseas in the Pacific 40 years ago.

I am pretty sure NO ONE had ever planned to see thier family only once every 3 years when they are only on the other side of the Chanel. These are NOT normal times or 'to be expected'.

@MissTrip82

I’m a migrant. Haven’t seen my family for nearly two years. I don’t know when I’ll see them again - not this year, I don’t think.

It’s the reality of being a migrant. I’ve never been able to get back in a hurry - it’s a solid 24 hours of flying let alone anything else - and I’ve missed major things that have come up suddenly as well as many, many celebrations.

This is the norm to me. I live on the other side of the world to most of my family and this is how it goes. I miss things. There is no way of emigrating and having the same relationships you had before.

I agree with you (been there and dione that too).

However, the OP hasn't decided to move to the other side of the world to her family. She is only on the other side the Chanel. It's a very different situation than yours.

there’s no way I’d move abroad if I had elderly, frail parents

in a lot of cases it's the parents moving overseas before they become frail and elderly

OP check the rules but I suspect either you can come to the UK or your parents can still visit you.

In my view there should be tight restrictions on overseas holidays this year but I would have an exception for those with parents/elderly relatives overseas (but only for a short time eg 5 days, to stop people visiting granny in Faro for 2 hours and then heading to Spain for a fortnight).

Being so fatigued you struggle to do anything during the day is 'in your head

If GPs can't work out what's wrong, it's always in your head.

I say this as someone facing the prospect of having to rearrange a wedding again because of selfish people who won't vaccinate or quarantine

no you are rearranging your wedding because the virus has mutated. Not because of "selfish" people. That is complete nonsense.

@junipertree2

It is very frustrating OP. Holding that football final thing between two English clubs in Portugal was possibly the stupidest decision ever. Football seems to be more important than life or death, literally. And THAT's the joke.

That was down to UEFA. The UK government wanted it here but rightly said no hangers on. So UEFA threw its toys out of the pram and took it's hangers on to Portugal.

@junipertree2

It is very frustrating OP. Holding that football final thing between two English clubs in Portugal was possibly the stupidest decision ever. Football seems to be more important than life or death, literally. And THAT's the joke.

Not only that, but they're having the Copa America in Brazil. As in, the place where COVID rates are really high and the fascist president is a COVID denier. That Brazil.

@DreamingNow it was expected that there might be problems because of Brexit though. And I’d be surprised if there weren’t some kinds of climate measures in the near future that stop people flying so much. Even stuff like the Icelandic volcano we had before. So actually it was easily foreseeable that you might not be able to always travel over at the drop of a hat.

its not it's

I agree we should have just stuck with no travel until 2022, it’s what most people expected to happen anyway,

So you know 'most' of the 66m people in the UK? Right.

Not sure the whole 'you moved away so unlikely to see your family much anyway' is actually true, especially for places like Portugal which aren't a million miles away.

My grandma lives in Spain. Between us going out to her and her coming over here we see her regularly throughout the year. I've gone for a weekend out there plenty of times, it's literally a couple of hours on a plane and about 20 mins from the airport, I travel longer than that to see DHs parents who live in the UK.

@JellyTumble

If you move away from family these are the risks you take unfortunately.

Absolutely, OP is an idiot for not foreseeing this totally unprecedented, world-changing pandemic 🙄🙄🙄

Sorry to ask this but why didn't you or your parents travel as soon as Portugal went on the green list? Nobody should wait for birthdays to come around.

There will be rolling changes for the next month or two and then hopefully we will be able to travel without worrying about lists (I'm optimistic maybe deluded).

I haven't been able to see my parents since Jan 2020 and we live in the same country. It's one step forward two steps back in this pandemic but I still broadly support whatever steps will get us over the finish line.

[quote PattyPan]@DreamingNow it was expected that there might be problems because of Brexit though. And I’d be surprised if there weren’t some kinds of climate measures in the near future that stop people flying so much. Even stuff like the Icelandic volcano we had before. So actually it was easily foreseeable that you might not be able to always travel over at the drop of a hat.[/quote]
I moved to the UK 20 years ago. Brexit wasn't on the agenda in any shape or form.
You have no idea when the OP came to the UK.

Same witb climate change etc....

There is no way these would have been taken into account.

As an aside, with climate change, I have only used the train rather tahn flying for qute a while now. It doesn't stop you from travelling atm or to see family on a regular basis or at the 'drop of the hat'

.

It’s been shit for everyone and I’m tired of this endless whinging and moaning about petty minor inconveniences like this. I find it especially annoying when people moan about not being able to see family. Well if family is that important to you why did you move to the other side of the world? Sorry if that sounds harsh but there’s no way I’d move abroad if I had elderly, frail parents

You do sound harsh I’m afraid. Not that Portugal is the other side of the world, but there are all sorts of reasons why people live apart from family, and most decisions were made in a pre-covid era.

I actually agree that non-essential travel into and out of the UK should not be allowed. However I think the lack of empathy as to the distress this causes to people with family abroad (including myself) is disgusting. I hate the way the pandemic has meant that people have lost all compassion towards people’s suffering if it doesn’t involve covid - this whole “shut up, who cares, there’s a pandemic and your upset is trivial and unimportant” attitude.

And I completely agree with this:

I think comparing being unable to see elderly, unwell parents to a minor inconvenience is absolutely horrible tbh

If GPs can't work out what's wrong, it's always in your head.

Yep, so well aware about that @looptheloopinahulahoop

@Amirite

The lack of compassion to those of us with family abroad is really fucking depressing. There’s no part of you that could even imagine that this is really hard for some of us?! I haven’t seen my family in almost 2 years, I haven’t had anyone to bubble up with and my kids have grown so much that they’ll be almost different people by the time we get to see them again. We can be vocal about it being a crap situation without taking anything away from those who have died ffs.

I have family and friends abroad On the slim chance my wedding goes ahead on June 26th (increasingly unlikely), my DPs brother, his sil and their two DCs won't be able to come as they are in Australia. Neither will 4 cousins from Ireland. Or my friend in Germany. Nor will our group of 5 mates in various parts of the US. Or the couple we miss dreadfully in Spain that we used to spend every summer with as our DC's grew up and whom are now in their teens.

But we will manage because what else can we do? Smuggle them in?
Surely the fact there is a risk to them is enough?
Surely the fact their governments are doing what ours has systemically failed to, hence why we are getting back to square one with a third wave that could've easily been swerved, says it all?

Don't be angry at other countries and their governments. Be angry that ours failed to do the same and here we all are as a result.

If globally, all countries had of said the same regards travel etc, we could've easily been out the other side by now.

But the likes of Trump and Boris knew better and scoffed at New Zealand.

I saw a program of Russell Howard in New Zealand this week. Everyone is hugging, enjoying themselves. Going to theatres with no masks or distancing.

Look at us and tell me who got it wrong?!