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AIBU?

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Original poster

To tell friend this outfit is inappropriate

304 replies

Mintsmints · 02/06/2021 20:45

Can I just say I am usually let people wear what the hell they want without criticism.

My friend has sent me a photo of her in a outfit for her brothers wedding. It is a white jumpsuit that is cut right down to the navel, she has big boobs so basically all that is covered is her nipples. I am guessing she must have some kind of body tape keeping it in place.
She doesn’t get on at all with sister in law to be so I think this might be to wind her up.
I have mentioned the colour and said you don’t wear white to a wedding but she has come back with it’s a jumpsuit and not a dress.
She is not going to come off well is she?

OP posts:
youvegottenminuteslynn · 02/06/2021 23:23

@forinborin

A culturally insensitive question here from a curious foreigner. In my culture there's no bans re white worn by guests at the weddings, so while the outfit is horrendous in any colour as wedding attire, I am not alarmed by white, would not probably even notice it.

So. Did not Pippa M wear white (and in a very "bridal" style too) to her sister's wedding? Why has there been no outrage?

I think the difference there is that as a bridesmaid her outfit was approved by the bride (maybe even selected by her) whereas a guest is rocking up in an outfit of their choosing and it's very, very unusual to choose a white outfit as a guest. It's definitely considered rude and something an attention seeker does!
MadMadMadamMim · 02/06/2021 23:23

@forinborin

A culturally insensitive question here from a curious foreigner. In my culture there's no bans re white worn by guests at the weddings, so while the outfit is horrendous in any colour as wedding attire, I am not alarmed by white, would not probably even notice it.

So. Did not Pippa M wear white (and in a very "bridal" style too) to her sister's wedding? Why has there been no outrage?

A. Because she was a bridesmaid - and that's what her sister Kate had chosen for her. It's difficult to be outraged by the bride's choice of bridesmaid dress.
friendlycat · 02/06/2021 23:26

To be honest there really is no helping someone who thinks that’s a suitable outfit for a wedding. It really doesn’t matter whether the material is of good quality or not. She will look as “cheap” as hell.

It’s not a good look, she will look like a porn star and just draw derogatory looks from all and rightly so. Most people want to look their best for a wedding not embarrass themselves.

Just leave her to it. You’ve tried and if she goes ahead with that outfit really the only person she is letting down is herself as literally everyone will be commenting and not in a good way.

forinborin · 02/06/2021 23:26

[quote HerMammy]@forinborin
She was the bridesmaid and the bride will have chosen her dress, not the same
thing.[/quote]
I see. Thanks for explaining, things like that really puzzle me sometimes. It would not occur to me specifically not to wear white to someone's wedding (unless it is obviously a wedding dress, of course). Thankfully I never did!

I checked out of interest and Catherine wore white (well, off-white / ivory) to Harry and Meghan's wedding too (although she could not have been a bridesmaid - or am I mistaken here?)

osbertthesyrianhamster · 02/06/2021 23:28

@Mintsmints

She has texted back saying fuck off

Ok then..... obviously I had to say it was gorgeous and everyone will fall at her feet in worship and the bride will be outshone.

And you're only just 'reevaluating' the friendship? This woman is like school in the summer break - no class. Childish and petty, too.

Text her back, 'Wow, keeping it classy as usual. You know you look like a cheap tart in that and think you're making a point, which you are, everyone will think you put the hooch in hoochie mama and that you're immature, tacky and childish into the bargain. So in this case, the outfit totally suits you! Off you fuck then.'

And block.

LucyAutumn · 02/06/2021 23:33

You've done the right thing by telling her OP.

BluePheasant · 02/06/2021 23:35

Yep if she goes ahead and wears that kind of outfit to the wedding she is going to be judged big time by everyone and piss off most of her immediate family. She wants to annoy SIL but does she not care about upsetting her brother and parents as well? tbh even if she can't stand the SIL, it's just so tacky to be attention seeking at someone else's wedding.
You tried to help OP, let her get on with it.

Duchess379 · 02/06/2021 23:35

Maybe say 'it's perfect for our next girlie night out, but not sure about wearing it to a wedding?'
🤞🏻

Lunde · 02/06/2021 23:35

@forinborin - I checked out of interest and Catherine wore white (well, off-white / ivory) to Harry and Meghan's wedding too (although she could not have been a bridesmaid - or am I mistaken here?)

She actually wore yellow - although some of the tv pictures made it look paler in the bright sun outside the church

To tell friend this outfit is inappropriate
JustLyra · 02/06/2021 23:36

@forinborin

A culturally insensitive question here from a curious foreigner. In my culture there's no bans re white worn by guests at the weddings, so while the outfit is horrendous in any colour as wedding attire, I am not alarmed by white, would not probably even notice it.

So. Did not Pippa M wear white (and in a very "bridal" style too) to her sister's wedding? Why has there been no outrage?

Bridesmaids in white (or the same colour as the bride) is actually quite traditional. If you look back on the history of bridesmaids it dates back centuries to have the bridesmaids looking similar to the bride to confuse evil spirits and protect the bride..

It's also completely different for the bride to decide she'd like her bridesmaids in the same colour than for guests to just ignore etiquette.

forinborin · 02/06/2021 23:46

[quote Lunde]**@forinborin - I checked out of interest and Catherine wore white (well, off-white / ivory) to Harry and Meghan's wedding too (although she could not have been a bridesmaid - or am I mistaken here?)

She actually wore yellow - although some of the tv pictures made it look paler in the bright sun outside the church[/quote]
Eh, I don't know. Still looks cream to me even on this photo - with a yellow tinge, yes.

JustLyra · 02/06/2021 23:51

Eh, I don't know. Still looks cream to me even on this photo - with a yellow tinge, yes.

@forinborin It was definitely yellow. The group photo where she has Charlotte on her lap shows a better difference in the colours.

(Though I'm surprised they didn't take into account the camera flashes making it look paler into account).

Staffy1 · 02/06/2021 23:53

She will get attention in that outfit but probably not the kind she is hoping for. Leave her to it, you have tried to tell her.

girlmama32 · 03/06/2021 00:03

My SIL wore a extremely low cut dress to my wedding, thankfully it wasn't white but it was the exact same shade as my bridesmaids dresses. We never used to get on so I reckon she thought it would really annoy me which it did but I didn't let her know that.
As for your friend I would probably drop a few comments about wearing white to weddings etc but it doesn't sound like she'll listen if you did say something anyway

Nitpickpicnic · 03/06/2021 00:08

Your only hope with your mate is to appeal to her self-interest, obviously telling her she’ll be the centre of negative attention is actually pushing her on!

I’d say it’s unlikely she’ll be included in any official photos in that get-up. Maybe that’d give her second thoughts?

Also I’d suggest that she’d be playing into the SIL’s hands (not upsetting her) by giving her a reason to laugh at and dismiss her as a loon. Your mate has a particular film playing of how it will go- give her another one to chew over. One where everyone she knows is laughing and pointing. She won’t look ‘fierce’, she’ll look silly. Bet that gives her pause.

I’d also tell her that while wildly fashionable now, that jumpsuit won’t date well. She’ll be 60 and looking back on the informal pics and cringing. I’d say ‘it’ll be a shame since you’re so known for your style.’

By the way, I’ve been to weddings where the couple asked EVERYONE to wear white. That jumpsuit would still have stuck out and been criticised by all. It’s not the white that’s the main issue.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/06/2021 00:11

I'd go with a direct "it's still all white and it's still all boob. You look amazing in it, but not for a wedding"

NameyNameyNameChangey · 03/06/2021 00:26

It doesn't sound very nice.
I think you've tried to printout the colour. She doesn't sound like she'd care about you pointing out the style either.

Ijustknowitstimetogo · 03/06/2021 00:37

It does look white in the photos but Kate’s dress was definitely pale yellow.

www.townandcountrymag.com/style/fashion-trends/a14522426/kate-middleton-dress-prince-harry-meghan-markle-wedding/

SmokedDuck · 03/06/2021 00:47

She may be burning a bridge with her brother.

GabsAlot · 03/06/2021 00:49

i dont thinik theres anyothing wrong with white but thats like something you would wear pole dancing

happinessischocolate · 03/06/2021 00:49

@70isaLimitNotaTarget

Ask her exactly she plans to go to the toilet when she's in a cubicle , most likely pissed and without ripping her nipples off with the Tit Tape ?
😂😂
Palavah · 03/06/2021 00:54

@TestingTestingWonTooFree

I’d say “thank goodness you’re winding me up. I nearly believed you for a minute! Show me your real outfit”
This
AnotherKrampus · 03/06/2021 01:46

She sounds like a total scumbag.

MagentaDragon · 03/06/2021 02:07

@Mintsmints

Again not cut out at the back but the front of the suit is very much like this and the material over the breasts
Hahaaa hideous even on the model, on someone with large breasts, very embarrassing. Even in a club let alone at a wedding! 🤣

OP you've been kind in your responses and tried to help her realise how stupid this is. If she won't listen, you can sleep with a clear conscience.

MagentaDragon · 03/06/2021 02:12

@HollyBen

I don't get the 'don't wear white to a wedding' thing myself. I wouldn't have cared. Surely everyone knows who the bride is?!? I actually find all the 'someone will spill some red wine on her' comments more distasteful than the crime that is wearing white to a wedding.
I think this is less about wearing white, and more about showing up dressed like a stripper.