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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell friend this outfit is inappropriate

304 replies

Mintsmints · 02/06/2021 20:45

Can I just say I am usually let people wear what the hell they want without criticism.

My friend has sent me a photo of her in a outfit for her brothers wedding. It is a white jumpsuit that is cut right down to the navel, she has big boobs so basically all that is covered is her nipples. I am guessing she must have some kind of body tape keeping it in place.
She doesn’t get on at all with sister in law to be so I think this might be to wind her up.
I have mentioned the colour and said you don’t wear white to a wedding but she has come back with it’s a jumpsuit and not a dress.
She is not going to come off well is she?

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 03/06/2021 20:25

There’s nothing to stop anyone from watching them all go in/out of the church/venue...

SingleMamaG · 03/06/2021 20:40

Text her back and say: “The nineties called, they want their outfit back.”

Kissthepastrychef · 03/06/2021 20:45

@Mintsmints could your friend smuggle in a livestream ? For the Greater Good of Mumsnet 😇

Lostonthefell · 03/06/2021 20:58

Went to my 2 mates wedding breakfast (they were married abroad before) dressed as a mermaid as I had another hen party to go to after and I wanted to do both events with a taxi in between. They thought it was hilarious and some farmer attendees there were so drunk they thought my blonde wig with shells was real. I say leave her to it! Not for you to influence the situation...

LolaSmiles · 03/06/2021 21:16

That's a horrible outfit for anywhere other than a cheap nightclub.

She's probably testing the waters to see if she'll cause the scene she wants.

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/06/2021 21:21

@Mintsmints

Not I am not going, they are having a smaller wedding then planned (dam COVID Grin) but I know someone else who is going
Good. Do report back even if you name change first ! Maybe it’ll make the papers...
Confiscatedfidgetspinner · 03/06/2021 21:23

Well if she’s trying to prove a point then all she’ll prove is that she’s a nightmare. The bride should let her wear it, I would in her shoes. It’ll only reflect badly on the SIL.

MiriamMargo · 03/06/2021 21:29

Lets be honest she is going to look a complete idiot and people with be laughing at her

Beseigedbykillersquirrels · 03/06/2021 21:36

@Lostonthefell

Went to my 2 mates wedding breakfast (they were married abroad before) dressed as a mermaid as I had another hen party to go to after and I wanted to do both events with a taxi in between. They thought it was hilarious and some farmer attendees there were so drunk they thought my blonde wig with shells was real. I say leave her to it! Not for you to influence the situation...
How attention seeking of you.
Cryalot2 · 03/06/2021 22:13

You have done your best. It is see through and awful.
She will not look good, just as we would say she will make a show of herself.

Localocal · 03/06/2021 23:23

Deliberately winding up the bride on her wedding day is likely to cause a major rift with her and the rest of the family. I think you should tell her that everyone will think she did it deliberately to upset the SIL and therefore brother and ruin their wedding. It's a serious dick move and you should very nicely tell her she will regret it when her whole family let's her have it.

FeeFi100 · 04/06/2021 06:27

That’s what I was thinking!

Onlinedilema · 04/06/2021 06:44

She can’t wear that to a wedding. It’s totally inappropriate. Regardless of colour, she needs to put her chest away.

DrSbaitso · 04/06/2021 06:48

@Lostonthefell

Went to my 2 mates wedding breakfast (they were married abroad before) dressed as a mermaid as I had another hen party to go to after and I wanted to do both events with a taxi in between. They thought it was hilarious and some farmer attendees there were so drunk they thought my blonde wig with shells was real. I say leave her to it! Not for you to influence the situation...
Of all the things that ever happened, this one happened the most.
WalkingOnTheCracks · 04/06/2021 09:52

Do you know the bride and groom? They could send out a, "We've just been given the dress code for the venue, sorry we didn't let you know earlier but it is ..."

...but it is, "Wear whatever you like as long as it's not a white, navel-plunging jumpsuit that makes you look like an excited nominee on the red carpet at the Annual Porn Industry Oscars."

"Also, just to be clear, no leather microskirts or gimp masks."

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/06/2021 10:01

Gutted you’re not going to the wedding, OP Grin I was going to suggest you and a friend sat either side of her and, when you hear ‘Here Comes the Bride’, grabbing the heavy poncho you’ve smuggled in and throwing it over her head. The really heavy kind where you can barely lift your arms.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 04/06/2021 10:06

Hmm, strange really. Maybe she got changed (realising her faux pas) before the group shot?

Yes, @GorgeousNightingale - she just happened to have the exact same outfit in a different colour in her handbag and nipped to the ladies’ to change. Happens every day. Far more believable than some random woman having wrongly assumed a lemon-coloured dress was off-white because of the light in the photo.

thelonghaul · 04/06/2021 10:11

She showed you the picture. If she knows its inappropriate and you don't say anything she'll assume you agree/condone her choice.
Does she dislike her brother so much? If so, why go to the wedding at all?
I think you have to say something. There'll be fall out either way but sounds like you need to try and save her from herself.

pollymere · 04/06/2021 11:42

It really does look awful when someone wears white to a wedding as a guest. People spend time whispering to them that they shouldn't wear white for a start! Also jumpsuits are worn by brides these days so it will look bridal. I'd say "I'm sure a bride was wearing that on Say Yes to the Dress. You'll look like you want to marry your brother!"

Barmychick · 04/06/2021 13:08

What on earth does she think she'll achieve with this nastiness?!😞

QioiioiioQ · 04/06/2021 13:42

I remember my own mother doing this, it was probably back in the 1980s she wore a tight white dress to a wedding with a zip up front and lots of cleavage showing, I remember her giggling about whether people would think she was trying to upstage the bride
She saw herself as a femme fatale 🙄

PandemicAtTheDisco · 04/06/2021 15:48

I wore what I've always thought as an inappropriate outfit to a friend's wedding. It was a lot more upmarket than I was used to and my friend had advised something designer from a local shop. Everything I looked at seemed either low cut or too short. This was the first time I ever heard of or used 'tit tape'. Another friend told me it was fine but I felt very uncomfortable the whole time.

I think some types of weddings have slightly different dress codes. It's either lots of cleavage or lots of legs - not both. If your boobs are hanging out it's okay as long as it's in designer clothing.

ChelleMum85 · 04/06/2021 18:04

Tell her it's a wedding, not a strippers party and to not be a C**t sister to her Brother by showing him up or the rest of her family. She will make herself look small (compared to the boobs) and you will lose respect for her.

Be a good friend- Cruel to be kind.

Original poster
Mintsmints · 04/06/2021 22:18

For those who asked it is in a church and the priest is very old school fire and brimstone type

OP posts:
TheVamoosh · 04/06/2021 22:30

That's a figure-skater costume, surely? 😅