In law trying to invite themself to medical appointment

[AnotherInLawOne]

Is it normal to try to invite yourself onto another family members medical appointment? Sil tried to invite herself to an online appointment with the paediatrician for our dc who is in the process of being diagnosed for autism. In the appointment my dh's and my personal medical information (that I have OCD and aspergers) could be shared. This is information I would not want shared with my in laws as they don't respect boundaries. Especially since some in laws (mostly mil) has thought that dc's behaviour, speech delay and not being potty trained yet is due to my bad parenting.
AIBU that it's pushing a boundary to try to invite yourself onto another family members medical appointment?

Not sure why she'd think she was entitled to join, but if you say no 'ha! What a bizarre suggestion' and don't share the details she won't be able to join, will she?

What did you say to her? Obviously it’s not ok for her to invite herself like that

YANBU. No way would they be joining if it were me.

It would be a flat NO from me if I were in your position. It's not normal for people to try and join a private medical appointment.

Very poor of your SIL - she had no right to be there. Next time don't tell them.

Is SIL a doctor?

That's so weird, why would she even want to be there? Just ignore her.

How was it worded? There’s a big difference between offering to come along (as support) and saying you’ll be joining.

What's her reasoning for wanting to join? Does she have some sort of insight into autism? I'd ask her outright what she thinks she can add that you can't and tell her no.

I think I'd be staring at her somewhat aghast, asking her 'whatever makes you think that is at all appropriate? Of course you won't be coming!'

Just tell her no - is she trying to ring the surgery or something to get a link?

Very odd behaviour on her part to think it is any of her business. DOn't allow her to attend, and don't share any of the details afterwards.

@YelloYelloYello

How was it worded? There’s a big difference between offering to come along (as support) and saying you’ll be joining.

This is true, how has she been inviting herself?

Op can you explain exactly how she tried to invite herself?

I have been with my sister for appointments for her son, when she has asked me because she knows I understand the system more. I would never invite myself though

How does she even know when it is? Stop sharing sensitive stuff with her/ILs (and make sure your DH understands this too).
I hope you get some answers from your appointment

Very odd, how did she ask OP?

Obviously that's weird. If you don't want to offend (although she is the offensive one) could you say numbers are restricted "because of the covid"?

How and why did she ask? I have one friend who sat in on her DN's assessment as her own DS has ASD and so the parents felt she would have a lot to add.

If there's no particular reason just laugh in her face and say no!

Very odd! Why would she even think of doing this?

Tell her to bog off!

If she's tried to do this or something similar before, it's pushing a boundary. If this is the first time, it's a good opportunity for you to set a boundary with her. I hope your appointment goes well. x

Is SIL a doctor? No
Does she have some sort of insight into autism? No

It's totally inappropriate. She needs to learn boundaries.

What was her reason for inviting herself?

She texted DH, asked when appointment was and asked to join.