Or is parenting newborns the hardest job in the entire world?

[babyblues21]

Is it just me or is the newborn stage really hard. I mean like really, really hard, with very little back in return. I love my 6 week old baby so much, I really truly do. But when does this get easier and more enjoyable?! I find I'm just overwhelmed and irritable most days.

With my daughter, newborn was the hardest. With my son, newborn was a delight and so easy - he was the most difficult toddler and I really struggled with that time.

Yes, sleep is a major part of it for me too.

I had my first night sleep (block of 6hrs or so) about a month ago, and 90% of nights are fine now, it's like a switch was flipped. But before that I had 2 years without much sleep. I remember at around the year mark getting a 4hr block once and feeling like a new woman. Dealing with toddler tantrums and having less naps in the day, and them running around, and then up every 1-2 hours is so so hard. At least with a newborn, if they slept on for chest you could sit in the sofa, put some TV on, and aren't dragging yourself out to the park or trying to explain why you can't turn their sippy cup green.

My first child slept really well as a newborn - 4-6vgour stretches by 6w. It was great. Then the 4m sleep regression got and it took her until the shed of 3 to get back to those sorts of stretches.

I think there is an assumption that sleep is worst for newborns then gets better, be whereas if a lot more complicated than that. Sometimes it starts off on and then gets worse, sometimes it swings between good and bad.

People often find their worst sleeping stage to be the hardest stage I think. But that's not always newborns.

My baby is only seven months old so I still remember vividly the horror of never being able to do anything for myself whilst also being bone shatteringly exhausted. I remember being totally enraged by yet another hour long settling session and yelling ‘What about me? Don’t my needs matter?!’ at DH.

It does get better 🤍 My beautiful DD sits up, laughs, mimicks you, plays with toys and is generally a joy to be around. But I didn’t always feel this way about her.

I've got a teen. Parenting him now is harder than when he was a newborn!

The age gap is definitely a factor for me and our gap is 5 years. I'd got used to having a little time to myself 😬
Hope you're okay

I had the best first baby. Never cried, slept through from about 4 weeks. Fed well. Happy contented little thing. I had the most amazing May leave, pottering all over London, visiting museums, galleries, meeting DH for fancy lunches all with her in tow wide eyed watching the world, not a peep out of her. I genuinely thought it was because I was a natural mother

Then had my second. Absolute nightmare and nothing could have prepared me for it. NEVER slept, had to be held AT ALL TIMES. I couldn’t eat, sleep, drink, wash, use the toilet without him attached to me and crying!

I have little to offer in terms of advice as, like you, it was all a blur and one day just rolled into the next exhausted day. But at some point the fog does start to clear. You will get through it because you are strong.

Think everyone finds different stages harder. I found early stages easy, toddler hood horrible, pre school and primary delightful and now struggling with pre teens! As someone said to me each stage comes with better things and worse things, but each stage does pass. Assuming you have a good sleeper, it does get much easier after 12 weeks.

Nope, teens are much harder. You will still feel stressed and irritable and exhausted.. You'll still be up all night worried sick because they aren't tucked up in their bed asleep; or worse, WHOSE bed are they tucked up in. Lots of them still scream and make a mess, refuse to feed and get inconsolably upset over things you can't make better. Then you have to worry they are eating or drinking too much. "He's on the bottle" is now very bad news indeed. The really bad thing is they are so huge and powerful you can't even make them do anything. And whatever they do or don't do, you'll know for sure its all your fault because they tell you so.

@Ohhgreat

My kids didn't sleep as newborns. They certainly wouldn't be put down while I cooked tea. Still easier than parenting teens!!

I've got 4, the oldest is 15 and I've also got 2 tweens and a 6 year old.

I still think the baby stage is by far the hardest.

It's so relentless and there's nothing like a baby you can't put down, that screams for hours and doesn't nap for longer than 30 minutes and that's only if you're holding him!

And your first newborn, nothing can prepare you for the massive life change.

I imagine it's probably like being in prison though, you eventually get used to it!!

Ah it can't be that bad I voluntarily did it 4 times!!!

All the best op, take it a minute at a time and it will get easier xxx

I struggled with my first two newborns who were born less than a year apart. I found the whole thing daunting. Not knowing what to do, why they were crying, are they unwell? What's that rash, why have they been sick, etc. When I look back it's a bit of a blur. I had my third a few years later and it was much easier, I was confident and I enjoyed it so much more. If I could go back in time and enjoy my lovely healthy babies I would.

@Nicola54

I had the best first baby. Never cried, slept through from about 4 weeks. Fed well. Happy contented little thing. I had the most amazing May leave, pottering all over London, visiting museums, galleries, meeting DH for fancy lunches all with her in tow wide eyed watching the world, not a peep out of her. I genuinely thought it was because I was a natural mother

Then had my second. Absolute nightmare and nothing could have prepared me for it. NEVER slept, had to be held AT ALL TIMES. I couldn’t eat, sleep, drink, wash, use the toilet without him attached to me and crying!

I have little to offer in terms of advice as, like you, it was all a blur and one day just rolled into the next exhausted day. But at some point the fog does start to clear. You will get through it because you are strong.

When did your second start to get easier? Mine is 8 months now and I'm still struggling tbh.

Can you Breastfeed lying down? That was a game changer for me at night. You obviously can't fall asleep but it feels much less of an effort.

I guess everyone is different. For me, personally I found the newborn stage the easiest. The toddler stage is tough, they seem determined to destroy you but rewarding.

I found it really hard. DD is 8m now and I found it’s got easier and easier since about 3 months and especially since 6 months. Although perhaps easier isnt the right word... just better, because you get some much more back once their little personality starts to shine through. It’s just so much more fun and so much less of a slog!

For me the newborn stage was the easiest.I hated the stage where they learn to walk. You can't take an eye off them for a second, they get frustrated and cry, they need entertaining, are noisy and won't sit still. That was awful.

The younger my DC were, the harder I found it. It does get very slowly easier. I found that when my youngest was 3 or 4, my life was a dream compared to life with a baby or toddler.

What saved my sanity was going to work and buying in help. If you are going back to work, I would recommend slowly introducing the childcare you will be using months before you go back, it will make the transition so much easier.

@2bazookas

Nope, teens are much harder. You will still feel stressed and irritable and exhausted.. You'll still be up all night worried sick because they aren't tucked up in their bed asleep; or worse, WHOSE bed are they tucked up in. Lots of them still scream and make a mess, refuse to feed and get inconsolably upset over things you can't make better. Then you have to worry they are eating or drinking too much. "He's on the bottle" is now very bad news indeed. The really bad thing is they are so huge and powerful you can't even make them do anything. And whatever they do or don't do, you'll know for sure its all your fault because they tell you so.

Oh gosh I'm sorry to hear this. My teen girl is thankfully not so much of a worry as this - she has her stroppy hormonal moments but she's lovely on the whole. I find parenting her much easier than my newborn.

I will swap my teen DD (15) for a newborn (or 2)

Positive steps: dh used to leave me multiple rounds of sandwiches in the fridge so all I needed to do was open the fridge and take plate to sofa and I could eat while ds fed. See also the sort of water bottle with a straw inside.

A few times a week our 9am play would be to have a bath together. It would be cooler than a bath on my own, but I’d feel less milky and sticky afterwards. Practise this one with dh in the house: you need to have a try at putting her on the clean towel you’ve laid on the floor next to the bath, stepping out, getting your own towelling dressing gown on and then picking baby up without help.

@Nicola54

I had the best first baby. Never cried, slept through from about 4 weeks. Fed well. Happy contented little thing. I had the most amazing May leave, pottering all over London, visiting museums, galleries, meeting DH for fancy lunches all with her in tow wide eyed watching the world, not a peep out of her. I genuinely thought it was because I was a natural mother

Then had my second. Absolute nightmare and nothing could have prepared me for it. NEVER slept, had to be held AT ALL TIMES. I couldn’t eat, sleep, drink, wash, use the toilet without him attached to me and crying!

I have little to offer in terms of advice as, like you, it was all a blur and one day just rolled into the next exhausted day. But at some point the fog does start to clear. You will get through it because you are strong.

Your second paragraph resonates very strongly! And thank you - I have my stronger moments and then my days where I think what the actual hell is my life 🙈

@MumofSpud

I will swap my teen DD (15) for a newborn (or 2)

I've got both 🙈🤣

@Treaclepie19

There was no light switch moment for me. It just very gradually got easier, bit by bit. Weening definitely helped. He was an October baby so the weather brightening up in the summer helped with my mood. And gradually, by the time he was a year or so my life was definitely easier.

My only advice is just be kind to yourself. Don’t sweat the small stuff, try to roll with it. And whatever you do, don’t put a brave face on it. Motherhood isn’t a competition. It’s normal to feel like shit and do a half-arsed job sometimes. The beauty about the baby years is that the kids don’t remember and can’t throw it back at you! Unlike the teenage years!

Newborns are the easiest 😭

My Ds1 was no trouble at all as a teen, I still have 2 to get there, but I'm not too concerned. None of my babies slept through the night or napped for any length of time at home, so it was pretty awful. Nothing has been as bad since.

The sleep deprivation is so hard. They do start sleeping better which helps!