Help! How much to give as wedding present?

[User1357]

Hi all,

Husband is attending his brothers wedding on Saturday and we are unsure how much to give? What would you give to your brother for wedding day? They also have baby on the way.

We were think £200, but husband is a high earner £70000 and he’s worried it will look abit tight. We are currently a bit tied up with money as we have just renovated and do not have a lot of spare money.

Also, as to not drip feed, all siblings are very high earners so will more than likely be very generous.

Many thanks in advance :)

Yanbu-£200 fine.
YABU- you’d give more.

I am starting to understand why people here are against the money as a gift...

@baldafrique

OMG who would give £20 from a couple to anyone! SO tight! Urgh.

For some people, after having to travel to get to the wedding and possibly pay for accommodation and other meals, this might be all they can afford.

@baldafrique

OMG who would give £20 from a couple to anyone! SO tight! Urgh.

Your naïveté and lack of life experience is showing.

£200 is more than enough.

My older sister is getting married soon-ish, and that's the sort of ballpark I was working in.

For non-family members, my mum used to say for the value of a gift (cash or otherwise), "the cost of the meal plus a quid for every year you've known them." Which, to me, seems quite sensible. Of course you are going to want to give more to your oldest friend from school, than a friendly work colleague you've known only a couple of years.

£200 sound like a lovely gift x

£200 for a close family member is perfect op

We normally give £50 per person thinking that's what it would cost for a nice meal/ day out anyway + extra because he is your BIL

£300 sounds fine to me. I can’t get my head round giving a couple the same value as the cover for the wedding meal. That’s about as far from the concept of a gift as you can get.

@3CCC

£200 for a close family member is perfect op

We normally give £50 per person thinking that's what it would cost for a nice meal/ day out anyway + extra because he is your BIL

Sorry saw you're giving £300 also acceptable

I was always told you give a gift when you receive an invitation, whether you attend the wedding or not

Yes, agree.
We've turned down 2 weddings for this summer (due to childcare and time/cost involved) we will be getting both couples a bottle of champagne and a £25 john lewis voucher along with a card wishing them well.
We couldn't attend but they still thought of us and invited us which is nice of them, I couldn't imagine giving no gift at all. But small is fine if not actually going, imo.

We always give 200 as a couple. I think 100 is fine for a person attending alone. Since its his brother I can see why you might want to give a bit more though.

At our wedding this was the standard gift we got from most of our guests too.

I should add that I'm in Ireland, I have heard that people in the UK generally give much smaller gifts.

@osbertthesyrianhamster If you don't have the £20 then that's fine. No one would judge anyone who geniunely couldn't afford a gift!

BUT if you said you can't afford a gift but spend hundreds of pounds on outfits and hair and make up then I would question that. I would always prioritise a nice present over how I looked!

[quote Cathie102]@osbertthesyrianhamster If you don't have the £20 then that's fine. No one would judge anyone who geniunely couldn't afford a gift!

BUT if you said you can't afford a gift but spend hundreds of pounds on outfits and hair and make up then I would question that. I would always prioritise a nice present over how I looked![/quote]
Without knowing the inner minutiae of someone's finances, though, how would you know they spent hundreds on outfits and hair and makeup? I do my own nails but have so much practice people think I pay to have them done. Plenty of non-professionals are quite skilled at doing hair and makeup. You can hire outfits or buy them used.

@osbertthesyrianhamster

They probably wouldnt know. I'm not talking about what other people think of me, but what I would think of myself! So if I'm invited to a wedding I would prioritise going and then getting a nice gift before outfit and all the other bits and bobs. A lot of people on this thread talk about what's expected externally and feel quite put upon. "so I have to pay for my meal" no - no bride and groom makes you pay in advance or anything.

When we were earing about that we did £350.

(For brother wedding)

I couldn’t tell you how much my brother gave me for my wedding a few years ago or any of my friends , I was grateful for the gift - the amount didn’t really register

I got sweet FA when I got married , even paid for the wedding myself.

Dont most pay for their own weddings these days?

My sibling and partner gifted DH and I £200 for our wedding and they aren't high earners. We were surprised but obviously very grateful. I'd say £200 is fine, but maybe do a bottle of something nice too?