Help! How much to give as wedding present?

[User1357]

Hi all,

Husband is attending his brothers wedding on Saturday and we are unsure how much to give? What would you give to your brother for wedding day? They also have baby on the way.

We were think £200, but husband is a high earner £70000 and he’s worried it will look abit tight. We are currently a bit tied up with money as we have just renovated and do not have a lot of spare money.

Also, as to not drip feed, all siblings are very high earners so will more than likely be very generous.

Many thanks in advance :)

Yanbu-£200 fine.
YABU- you’d give more.

If he's worried he will look tight, then perhaps he will?

What did you both get from his family for your weddings?

£200

I wouldn't go above £100.

What did BIL give to you and DH on your wedding day?

Right we've settled at £300.

Would have absolutely loved to have given £500 but we have also had to buy a suit for husband and book hotel for 2 nights as wedding is near Devon which is miles away from where we are. The wedding has been rescheduled several times so we have put off saving for it (very silly of us).

We will send a lovely gift when their baby arrives.

My DH earns more than £70k and he gave £100.

£300 is madness, especially when money is tight.

BIL is a lot younger than husband so when we married 10 years ago a gift wasn’t expected as he was at university at the time.

I'm one of 5 and we would always liase with each other to work out roughly what each family was gifting.

I was going to say £20 but that’s just me

If my brother gave us £200 I'd be delighted

Woulnd't give cash.
Often don't even do the wedding list.

£300 is very kind and generous. I'm sure it'll be much appreciated!

I think £300 sounds fine and will help towards their project.

Cash is fine to give especially if you know the couple need it for a project.
Every family will be widely different so maybe suss our what the others in family are giving.
We gave my sister £100 but also paid for the flower girl dress and shoes as I was on hand to buy them at the time they were sourced and didn’t want the money back.

Fucking hell. Can all the "I wouldn't give cash" posters just do one. It's ENTIRELY normal to give cash for weddings these days, and the OP is obviously fine with gifting cash.

OP, I gave my brother £250 in similar circumstances but my mum and dad paid for our hotel room, sis in law bought my bridesmaid dress, my DH wore a suit he already had etc so our usual wedding outgoings were minimal.

Nice amount. I'd say between 100-200.

We earn far more than you and would spend around £100 on a wedding gift for a sibling.

I'd probably give €300 for a sibling, along with a small gift. And we (as a couple) earn significantly less than 70k. euro or sterling!

£300 is a nice gift if you can afford it for a sibling. But if you're budgeting and they have a baby on the way, you could give them £200 as a wedding gift and £100 as a gift later towards things for the baby.

I've always found low earners to be far more generous than high earners tbh.

We had a family of 4 at our wedding. The 2 adult children brought partners, so 6 people. Three of the group of 6 earn over £100k and the other 2 earn over UK average.... £80 from all of them together. I spend over £600 hosting them. I don't care about the gift just saying that's what it was.

For a brother, £300 seems perfect.

@LegoCardSwapper
Agreed, most weddings are cash gifts now, I’m at pp who’d give a sibling £20 for their wedding,that’d be ok if they’re under 10 and it’s in a birthday card!

Fucking hell. Can all the "I wouldn't give cash" posters just do one. It's ENTIRELY normal to give cash for weddings these days, and the OP is obviously fine with gifting cash.

Nooo. What would mumsnet be without all the people pretending cash is crass, so is gift list because they know best so you get what they want to give you and if you don't like it you are obviously wrong and don't actually know what you really like because they put soooo much thought into it.

I must be tight. I earn more and I'd give £100 . But probably thinking about it, that's because he is a high earner too so it's more of a token thing.

Nooo. What would mumsnet be without all the people pretending cash is crass

Exactly, like the rest of the world is depraved and it’s only plucky Blighty upholding decency via the John Lewis gift registry 😂

Or worse, the MN patented silver photo frame. 😵

OP, I think £200 is fine by UK norms. I’m in Ireland and people would give more than that for a sibling, but in the U.K. I think it’s sufficient.

If it were a sibling I'd give £500 and buy a small sentimental gift to wrap and put on the table at the venue. I'm not a very high earner but it's very much a one off special gift so I'd budget for it and save up so I could give more. That said I wouldn't be upset or anything if my sibling didn't reciprocate with a similar gift

I’m really surprised at a lot of the answers here. I thought it was proper etiquette that you covered the cost of your meal, so if you’re attending as a couple it would be absolute minimum £100 but probably more like £150? Have I been an overly generous wedding guest my whole adult life??? For a sibling I’d definitely do considerably more FWIW I think your £300 is fair.

@TheKeatingFive

Nooo. What would mumsnet be without all the people pretending cash is crass

Exactly, like the rest of the world is depraved and it’s only plucky Blighty upholding decency via the John Lewis gift registry 😂

Or worse, the MN patented silver photo frame. 😵

OP, I think £200 is fine by UK norms. I’m in Ireland and people would give more than that for a sibling, but in the U.K. I think it’s sufficient.

Oh do fuck off with the having a dig, dear. Any opportunity to snipe about British people and you’ll take it. Even when it’s out of context, apparently.

OP, I would have gone to £200 or so cash. No sign of John Lewis registries.