To think I’ve upset my friend

[Amiwrongor]

Been with my dp for a couple of years and shortly moving house so things are very busy for us! Alongside this trying to juggle seeing friends and lockdown easing...

One of my closest friends (from nursery days so pre dp etc) wants us to have a day or two away together but I just can’t see a free weekend over the next few months what with moving house and saying goodbye to dp/my family. We haven’t caught up for a year or so due to lockdown but I would rather we have a brunch or long meal to see each other. I think she is a bit upset about this, Aibu?!

For context friend is not local so would be some travel time to get there and back. I don’t really know what to do!

@BlueDaises have you actually read and fully understood the OP's post?

"I certainly couldn't commit, to a weekend away, whilst so much was being organised for a family move".

Eh? OP ( as per her post ) is not making a "family". move. Op is moving and leaving her family and "DP" behind . She also has no time for her friend , in over a year.

@Leeds2

Are you moving house to move in with your DP, or moving out of a house you currently share with DP? I am not sure why you are saying goodbye to him. Personally, I think a long lunch is perfectly fine, but I can see why your friend might be a bit upset given you haven't seen each other for such a long time.

She meant her family and DP's family. Sorry if someone has already said this to you as not Rtft

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

Who are you? The OPs official spokesperson? Is the OP too busy now to even post/drip feed on their own thread?

[quote LadyMargaretBeauforte]@BlueDaises have you actually read and fully understood the OP's post?

"I certainly couldn't commit, to a weekend away, whilst so much was being organised for a family move".

Eh? OP ( as per her post ) is not making a "family". move. Op is moving and leaving her family and "DP" behind . She also has no time for her friend , in over a year. [/quote]

either way... if she can't commit .. then she's done the right thing in saying no 🌸

@BlueDaises "either way... if she can't commit .. then she's done the right thing in saying no 🌸"

But Op has not said no. OP has offered a brunch or a long meal.

[quote LadyMargaretBeauforte]@BlueDaises "either way... if she can't commit .. then she's done the right thing in saying no 🌸"

But Op has not said no. OP has offered a brunch or a long meal. [/quote]

Aaw lord Im sorry Im not focused today 😩

but I just can’t see a free weekend over the next few months what with moving house and saying goodbye to dp/my family

I have moved home five times. It hasn't taken me months to pack up and say goodbye to people.

Are you moving to another country @Amiwrongor?

If you're willing to put in the travel time then she is the unreasonable one.
I don't like to be away from home so I wouldn't ever want to go away with a friend unless it was a very special occasion like a Hens party. A lovely brunch or day together is perfectly fine.

@BlueDaises 😊. x

[quote LadyMargaretBeauforte]@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno

Who are you? The OPs official spokesperson? Is the OP too busy now to even post/drip feed on their own thread? [/quote]
Piss off. Lol

Been with my dp for a couple of years and shortly moving house so things are very busy for us! Alongside this trying to juggle seeing friends and lockdown easing...

I still read this as they are moving house together but until the OP comes along I will keep quiet @LadyMargaretBeauforte

I don’t think the OP is coming back....must be too busy packing

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno If you had carried on reading you would see that the OP posted :

"but I just can’t see a free weekend over the next few months what with moving house and saying goodbye to dp/my family".

I read that as OP is not moving with DP . Why else would she be saying goodbye?

@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno "Piss off lol" " but until the OP comes along I will keep quiet"

Probablly wise @Myusername and the most constructive thing you have said this evening.

@Womencanlift

[quote LadyMargaretBeauforte]**@Myusernameisnotmyusernameno "Piss off lol" " but until the OP comes along I will keep quiet"

Probablly wise @Myusername and the most constructive thing you have said this evening.

[/quote]
There's so much I could say to you but quite frankly I have better things to do. Not sure why you seem to think you're the OP's spokesperson and answer everyone's comments though. Maybe you need to get a life. Goodnight.

And in answer to your question she means DP (and my) family(s) I believe, but as I don't know the OP as well as you seem to then who knows
I'm so pleased you have a hobby though. Well done.

@Womencanlift

I don’t think the OP is coming back....must be too busy packing

🤣

@Womencanlift

I don’t think the OP is coming back....must be too busy packing

The irony is - she’s probably name changed and just posting on other threads

The amount of mumsnetters that are on their knees because SO busy

But prolific on mumsnet!

Are you moving abroad? Is that why you need time to say goodbye to family?

@Branleuse

I still dont see how its that bad if someone cant organise an entire weekend away for a few months due to other life stresses such as moving house/area. Makes me grateful how easygoing all mine are. Thats just adult life imo

I cant be doing with friends being demanding

This ^^

OP has a offered a meet up for brunch or something else.
Friend is upset you couldn't manage a weekend away. She's packing up to move house ... it's irrelevant and disingenuous that other PPs have said they've moved house and had time to go away with friends, OP doesn't. None of us know how much packing she has to do and what her weekdays of work/ DC activities are like. I wouldn't have time and don't right now, and I'm just trying to clear and do DIY on my house, let alone having a moving date deadline.

Friends don't make demands abs they understand if you are swamped with other parts of your life that you don't have time or energy to plan and go away for a jolly w/e with them.

At least my friends do, as do I for them. We find ways to catch up - video chats, texting, "dropping by short visits" , posting care packages, video quiz nights, meeting in the middle for a lunch, any of those things are a good catch up- no one owes a friend a weekend holiday

It's weird that PPs criticising "op has had no time for her friend in a year" (a friend that lubes a travel distance away) aren't factoring in that - U.K. at least- has been in COVID lockdowns and many restrictions for a large part of the past year.

Many Many of us haven't seen our friends (who are a travel away) for a long time, and only seen family that aren't local, once or twice in 14 months due to shielding etc

Oh no !!! Auto incorrect struck ...
'Lives' not 'lubes'

I can see both sides. I understand you can't do a full weekend, but you have said you would rather do a longer event. Maybe you could compromise and both of you meet somewhere halfway and have a coffee and catch up or something like that. I get how stressful moving is, but I also understand how your friend feels a bit put out you can't give her any time.