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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if you returned to work full time after mat leave, who looked after your baby?

104 replies

goooooop · 31/05/2021 07:31

Contemplating putting 1 year old in nursery full time and I feel awfully sad about this, and just wondered how common it is and what other people did?

OP posts:
burritofan · 31/05/2021 07:34

Lots of people put their babies in nursery full time, and from younger. If they didn’t, there wouldn’t be nurseries.

I get the sadness! I actually just changed jobs so I can do 4 days and have a day with DD. But honestly, she thrived in nursery. Comes home full of beans, chattering about her day and her friends. Does depend on the child – DD likes the sociability and the big setting; another kid might prefer a childminder or a nanny.

Sciurus83 · 31/05/2021 07:34

I'm 4 days, 3 nursery 1 grandparents. But if I needed to I would put her in nursery full time, don't feel guilty its really normal and they love nursery.

PurpleFlower1983 · 31/05/2021 07:37

My husband became a SAHD, she originally was in childcare 4 days a week as I went to 0.8 part time but then we made the decision to give up a wage and I went back full time.

PotteringAlong · 31/05/2021 07:38

Full time nursery for all 3 of mine.

starrynight21 · 31/05/2021 07:39

Yes, I went back after 12 months with both of mine. No problems at all. My neighbour was a SAHM and loved children - she was happy to take mine as well. I paid her the going rate and so we were both happy with the arrangement.

lavenderandwisteria · 31/05/2021 07:40

Full time nursery for an eight and a half month old in September. It’s not ideal but hoping to go part time in the future.

vera16 · 31/05/2021 07:41

I had to go back full time and found it easier to leave mine with a childminder at this age. More of a home from home environment. But my LB has always been on the quieter side. Every setting has its pros and cons. You do feel bad but you get through it. Between illnesses, holidays etc. it felt like I rarely did a full week. You could use some annual leave to start with 4 days a week if you're really worried (but once your LO gets used to the routine they won't notice the difference between 4 vs 5 days - they adapt very quickly).

AllTheCakes · 31/05/2021 07:41

Full time nursery. Thankfully DC love it and are thriving there. They get so much out of it that I couldn’t provide by staying at home.

Csx99 · 31/05/2021 07:42

Kind of different situation but I'll be going back to university full-time so my 2 year old and 8 month old (at the time) will be going to nursery 4x a week Smile

AllThatFancyPaintsAsFair · 31/05/2021 07:42

I don't know if it's still the case as my children are older now but when they were preschool age all the nurseries in my area had waiting lists as it was the mom to use them for all working patterns. Only speaking from my own experience but none of the parents I met were sad that their children were there and the children always seemed happy.

Nuggetnugget · 31/05/2021 07:42

Childminder and then as that was expensive after baby no 2 dh worked evenings so we only used a minder one day a week.

CarlottaValdez · 31/05/2021 07:43

2 days at nursery, DH the other three days.

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 31/05/2021 07:44

I put DS into nursery full time from 10 months old.

lavenderandwisteria · 31/05/2021 07:44

All the nurseries around here are full until February 22, so glad we got ds a place early.

Sexnotgender · 31/05/2021 07:44

Went back full time when DS was 11 months. He goes to nursery 4 days and my husband has him on Friday. He absolutely loves nursery! I’m on mat leave again and will do the same when I go back next year.

BellsaRinging · 31/05/2021 07:46

Nursery from 3 months with ds1. I chose it because there was less risk of it closing due to illness than a childminder. It was honestly fine. I still have a couple of friends who were nursery mums and ds is now 16 and likes catching up with the other 'children's!

FlappityFlippers1 · 31/05/2021 07:47

I went back to work part time 3 days a week and my mum cared for LO. However my dad became very sick and she became his carer and could not longer have DS (totally understandable!). But it really put us in a pickle as we couldn’t find a decent nursery with space for him. I ended up leaving my job and working freelance for a bit.

I now have a job doing evenings and a Saturday; which works perfectly as I’m home with DC all week, but still get to work, not pay childcare and I’m lucky it’s with the company I had to leave, so I hold my place with my career too.

Lockdownlifting12344555 · 31/05/2021 07:50

Full time when she was six months old, she’s nearly 2 now and still loves it. The staff are lovely at our nursery, my older DS went there and I trust them 100% with DD. Her speech is amazing and the activities they do are fab.

Lockdownlifting12344555 · 31/05/2021 07:51

I also arranged the place way in advance for her, 2 months before she was born

rooarsome · 31/05/2021 07:52

Dd was 10 months and DS1 was 6 months when I had to go back. Full time nursery for both.
DS2 is going to a childminder full time from 10 months

sbhydrogen · 31/05/2021 07:54

Full time nursery for DD from 12 months. She loves it.

Next baby will go full time at 10 months.

ThornAmongstRoses · 31/05/2021 07:55

I did my full time hours over three days, one of which was at the weekend. On the two days in the week where both me and DH were working, our children went to a childminder. They were obviously with me the other 3 days of the week.

CatsPyjama · 31/05/2021 07:59

Mine went to nursery and loved it. All the ones near us also had waiting lists.

SatyajitRayFan · 31/05/2021 08:02

I first started with a full time nursery for my 1 year old 5 days a week. The larger setting didn't suit her at all. Then I found a local childminder through recommendation and my child took to that setting immediately.

whatswithtodaytoday · 31/05/2021 08:02

Went back four days a week, baby in nursery 9-5 every day from 11 months. MIL did drip off and pick up on the days I was in London but didn't want to do a full day.

He honestly loved it, and still does now at 2.5. Find a nursery you feel comfortable with. I had a little cry when we found ours because it was so exactly what I wanted. The others I'd seen were fine, I knew he'd have been safe, but they didn't have the right feel.