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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

His ex kissed him- WWYD

115 replies

wwyd200 · 30/05/2021 12:54

I need some advice as I'm not sure if I should forget about it or not. I don't live with my boyfriend but we have a 5 month old together. Yesterday he met up with a few of his friends and they had a few drinks (he wasn't drunk as he was messaging me normally last night). This morning he messaged me and told me that he didn't know his ex was going to be there until he went. He told me that she kissed him and kept trying to hold his hand (apparently he moved) and that she sat on his lap and he felt too awkward to tell her to move.

I haven't replied to him yet as I'm annoyed but I'm not sure if I'm BU and should just forget about it. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Aprilwasverywet · 30/05/2021 12:56

Then did his penis accidently fall into her?
Poor lad..
Raise your bar op.
Dump this prick..

tentosix · 30/05/2021 12:56

Forget it. He told you the truth immediately so that you wouldn't get a skewed view from someone else. It wasn't his choice and he tried to move away.

If you hear (honest, reliable) people say it was him coming in to her, maybe rethink it.

Ughmaybenot · 30/05/2021 12:57

He felt too awkward to tell his ex not to sit on his lap? Bullshit. I don’t think I’d believe much of his version of events tbh, surely when she tried to kiss him, any reasonable person would’ve shut that down completely meaning that she either got the message and didn’t try again or if she didn’t, they’d remove themselves from the situation, not let her keep trying it on?
Sounds like he’s covering his arse by admitting to absolute bare minimum before someone else tells you the truth.

ohthestruggles · 30/05/2021 12:58

Sounds like he's gotten in there first with a very economical version of the truth. LTB.

Getyourarseofffthequattro · 30/05/2021 13:00

He felt too awkward? Nah. Not good enough.

I wouldn't give a fuck how awkward he felt tbh, it's not good enough.

If it was just the kiss and others told me that it was her that kissed him and he visibly recoiled I could probably get over it but the rest of the story would make me think that wasn't true.

Crazycakelady17 · 30/05/2021 13:02

He should of left as soon as he realised she was there and come and spent some time with his partner and daughter is there a reason you don’t live together? He’s happy to have a baby with you but not share the whole load

PixieDust28 · 30/05/2021 13:04

So he wasn't drunk but didn't think to tell you she was there until today?

He's only telling you snippets before someone else does.

I was once with someone and a picture appeared on fb of him and his 'girl best mate' on his lap.. That was enough for me to leave.

It's inappropriate and he's a slime bag.

Looubylou · 30/05/2021 13:05

This doesn't ring true. Was it a quick peck on the cheek and almost unavoidable? Or a kiss on the lips that he should have made clear was not acceptable. He felt too uncomfortable and awkward to ask her to get off his knee? What else could she have got away with. He is covering himself with his version of events - unfortunately in these scenarios the confessor rarely gives the whole story.

chickenyhead · 30/05/2021 13:07

Erm

No.

It takes 2 to kiss.

He has NO respect for you, have some for yourself.

notapizzaeater · 30/05/2021 13:28

He could have just moved away ? Shoved her off his knee ?

CatsPyjama · 30/05/2021 13:31

I think his version of events is what he thinks you would want to hear, rather than what actually happened.

peboh · 30/05/2021 13:32

He told you straight away, which could be a positive sign. However did he tell you everything? Why did he feel awkward to tell a girl he is not longer in a relationship with to get off his lap? Why did the same girl think it was appropriate to kiss him? This stuff doesn't just happen randomly. There's obviously a reason she was behaving like this.

Lucyh179 · 30/05/2021 13:34

@Aprilwasverywet

Then did his penis accidently fall into her? Poor lad.. Raise your bar op. Dump this prick..
This
anothernewtop · 30/05/2021 13:34

@CatsPyjama

I think his version of events is what he thinks you would want to hear, rather than what actually happened.

This.

ShirleyPhallus · 30/05/2021 13:34

He felt too awkward to tell her to get off his lap? Oh pull the other one

You deserve better OP

Lucyh179 · 30/05/2021 13:37

Sorry you've had to hear this, especially with a baby. It sounds like he is getting in there first with information. I also don't believe this 'she kissed me' bullshit. It takes 2 people to kiss or he should say 'she tried to kiss me etc' did he said he rejected her advances?!

I think he is taking the piss. Maybe you want to hear him out for posterity but do remember he may continue to do stuff like this unless you make a stand and show him you won't put up with it.

You are better than that and don't deserve to be messed around

Chanel05 · 30/05/2021 13:42

Too awkward to tell her to move? What a joke. Leave this man, he doesn't respect you. Did "she" kiss him before or after sitting on his lap?

Jizzonmy · 30/05/2021 13:44

He’s taking the piss. They kissed and he’s blaming it all on her. Simple as that

chickenyhead · 30/05/2021 13:48

By sitting on his lap, she displayed to all present, her ownership.

By allowing her to do so, he did the same.

SympathyFatigue · 30/05/2021 13:50

Oh dear. He's getting in fast before you hear it off someone else, then he can pretend he told you etc.

It's bullshit op.

How come you don't live together but have a small baby?

PanamaPattie · 30/05/2021 13:54

On the positive side, you won’t need to ask him to leave as you don’t live together.

TotorosCatBus · 30/05/2021 13:55

He would allow a strange man or woman to sit on his lap? He'd think it was ok if you sat on your ex's lap?

He might be telling the truth about not knowing she was invited but nobody is going to allow someone to stay in their lap. If he didn't want to make a scene he'd say he needed the loo then sat elsewhere when he got back.

DoingItMyself · 30/05/2021 13:56

it was him coming in to her, maybe rethink it

Yes, that's usually a bad sign.

OP, he's not 'being honest' or 'feeling awkward'. He's covering for his behaviour with his ex. Sack him.

Peach01 · 30/05/2021 13:57

I would be furious. He should've gave a firm f**k off as soon as she started putting it on plate, been so firm that she wouldn't dare try again. She shouldn't have had so many opportunities to try it on with him. Once okay, not his fault but repeatedly? No way. This is so disrespectful. She sat on his lap and he didn't do anything about it.

Dizzy1234 · 30/05/2021 14:03

He's told you his version of events just in case someone tells you the correct version.
I wouldn't buy that shit, if he didn't want her to sit on his lap he could have said so or stood up and she'd have had to move.
More likely version is they held hands, she sat in his lap and they kissed.