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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

His ex kissed him- WWYD

115 replies

wwyd200 · 30/05/2021 12:54

I need some advice as I'm not sure if I should forget about it or not. I don't live with my boyfriend but we have a 5 month old together. Yesterday he met up with a few of his friends and they had a few drinks (he wasn't drunk as he was messaging me normally last night). This morning he messaged me and told me that he didn't know his ex was going to be there until he went. He told me that she kissed him and kept trying to hold his hand (apparently he moved) and that she sat on his lap and he felt too awkward to tell her to move.

I haven't replied to him yet as I'm annoyed but I'm not sure if I'm BU and should just forget about it. Wwyd?

OP posts:
MiddlesexGirl · 30/05/2021 14:06

Sounds like it might be OK to me tbh. Some people are just like that. Very pushy.
Do you trust anyone else who was there to give an honest second opinion,

toocold54 · 30/05/2021 14:35

If he was drunk I would understand more why he didn’t tell her to get off but to be completely sober (apparently) you would tell her to get off your lap, stop holding your hand etc because it’s inappropriate because you’re in a relationship.

SometimesALime · 30/05/2021 14:38

It is before you see the photo of her sat on his lap and them kissing.

billy1966 · 30/05/2021 14:54

Getting his version in first.

You deserve better.

Original poster
wwyd200 · 30/05/2021 15:25

We live with our parents as we're saving up for our place so we don't live together yet, he does stay over though and gets up with baby.

I'm just so confused as he didn't seem drunk when he was messaging me last night so I'm not sure why he let her sit on his lap.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 30/05/2021 15:28

So basically what’s happened is he got back with his ex last night, people saw them together, he knows you’re going to find out, so he’s getting his version in now

StopPokingTheRoyalTitDear · 30/05/2021 15:36

I bet if it was someone he categorically didn’t fancy he’d not feel the least bit awkward about telling them to fuck off/tipping them off his lap.

I think he’s done something he shouldn’t have, there was plenty of witnesses and now he’s getting in there first with his own probably very diluted/bollocks version of events before someone else does.

Vetyveriohohoh · 30/05/2021 15:40

He’s telling you this before someone else does, or because he thinks photos will appear on social media.

Get rid.

CagneyNYPD · 30/05/2021 15:43

@wwyd200

We live with our parents as we're saving up for our place so we don't live together yet, he does stay over though and gets up with baby.

I'm just so confused as he didn't seem drunk when he was messaging me last night so I'm not sure why he let her sit on his lap.

He gets up with the baby when he stays over - big deal. Not exactly parenting.

He let her sit on his lap because he was enjoying the attention. He has told you a watered down version of the truth before anyone else gets in with the version that will get him into trouble.

Next he will be saying that he didn't want to upset her as she might go a bit mad and cause a scene. He felt really uncomfortable etc etc.

But what he won't tell you is that he was having a few drinks and a good time. You were out of sight, out of mind. And so was your child.

PlanDeRaccordement · 30/05/2021 15:45

So your boyfriend has been sexually assaulted by his ex?
It could be true, I’ve seen women try and get exes back by doing that. Generally a man who cheats is going to hide everything. Messaging, meeting, kissing, etc. Were there any witnesses that you trust? I’d ask them who kissed who and what his reactions were.

Cas112 · 30/05/2021 15:53

Why did he feel awkward to push her off, if he didn’t want her sat there he should have told her to get off no matter what.

I think your partner has twisted the truth and he’s not the innocent party in this.

WilsonMilson · 30/05/2021 15:58

You sound young and really quite naive op, I hope you’re ok.

I’d think myself lucky that I’m don’t live with such a bullshit merchant and haven’t invested money in a house with him. It’s totally unacceptable behaviour to have an ex sitting on your knee, and as for the kiss - he must think you were born yesterday.

He’s playing you for a mug and getting in there with the minimum version in case someone else says something. He’s not to be trusted and she’s a lowlife for behaving like that with someone who has a baby and a partner.

An0n0n0n · 30/05/2021 16:00

Id dump him.

If my ex did that id tell him in no uncertain terms to back off the first time. The second time i would leave.

He wasn't helpless. He let it happen at best and is telling you before someone else to cover his arse.

Fuck that shit.

VettiyaIruken · 30/05/2021 16:02

I bet someone you know saw them and he's getting his version in first

Calamaribabe · 30/05/2021 16:05

he felt too awkward to tell her to move

...because he had a hard-on?

katy1213 · 30/05/2021 16:06

Honestly, he's not very committed to you if you have a baby and he's not living with you.

JammyGem · 30/05/2021 16:15

I'm an incredibly awkward person and do everything to avoid confrontation, but even I would do or say something if my ex sat in my lap.

I agree with the others, he's telling you the "truth" now before someone else mentions it, and he's probably downplaying what really happened. Be wary.

Rubyrecka · 30/05/2021 16:19

Crock of shit. The fact he said he was too awkward to tell her to move, he must think u came down with the last shower!

muffb · 30/05/2021 16:20

I agree he is telling you his bit before someone else gets there, and whether he was drunk or not would be irrelevant to me- it's completely unacceptable and he definitely should have told her to get off him.

Stickytreacle · 30/05/2021 16:25

He'd be an ex for me after this.

GameSetMatch · 30/05/2021 16:31

All these poor men about with ‘cazy’ ex’s trying to kiss them and sitting on their laps. You know you don’t believe him that’s why your asking on here! Read your post as if somebody else has written it and write a reply, that’s how you proceed.

IEat · 30/05/2021 16:35

I was fwb years ago, he kissed someone (colleague from another department) and I couldn’t forget it it ended

CandlesBlanketsandTea · 30/05/2021 16:36

OP do you honestly believe this bullshit story? He's full of shit. Do you have low self esteem?

powershowerforanhour · 30/05/2021 16:39

If a gay male friend of his kissed him, tried to hold hands with him and then climbed into his lap, would he have let him?

hellcatspangle · 30/05/2021 16:40

So basically, he got with his ex last night, is worried sick that someone spotted them and it'll get back to you, so he's trying to cover his own arse with a skewed version of the truth before it gets back to you. Bin him.