WIBU - colleague told me not to use pregnancy as an excuse

[ReginaaPhalange]

Not NC for this, don't care if this puts me!

During the week, I had a meeting with another colleague in my team to discuss something that I am involved in at work. It is in my contract to assist with this certain process, but it is not my main task and I am employed for another project.

Basically, she pulled me into an office and laid into me for small mistakes I've been making and I admit I have been and my explanation for that is I am on my own at work (other team member is on long term sick) and I am feeling the pressure with trying to make progress and meet targets. I did explain this to her but she just went on and on saying that the minor mistakes I made are not what she expects from the level of someone on my salary. I agree. I admitted to her that I am trying to get her small part of the process done quickly so I can go back to my main job and work on that.

Anyway, I got out of character very emotional and started crying - she just looked at me, sighed and shook her head then went back to laying into me.

She told me she's feeding this convo back to the main boss - fine, she's entitled to as the process I am involved in contributes to her main job.

At the end of the meeting, I apologised for getting overly emotional and told her that I would be telling my colleagues today that I am in my first trimester of pregnancy so clearly my emotions are all over the place just now and again apologised for the out of character emotional outburst.

Her reply? "Well having never gone what you're going through, and having no desire to ever do, I don't expect you to use your pregnancy as an excuse to continue making mistakes and I want to see improvement from you".

I have had time to reflect on the chat but to be honest, I'm actually angry at her comment about me using my pregnancy as an excuse.

WIBU to pull her up about it on Monday and tell her that her comments were completely unacceptable and I will not tolerate someone speaking like that to me, pregnant or not?

Feel free to tell me that I am being overly sensitive and that IABU. I won't cry (much 😉)

She sounds awful.
You only told her about your pregnancy to explain your emotional response not the mistakes you have made. Put everything in writing, what you said, her response, everything. Also reiterate that you o ly told her about your pregnancy to explain your emotions nothing else!!. She's a bitch!

How are you OP?

Hello - Sorry it's been a manic week.

So as the main manager is on leave for 2 weeks (thought it was 1!), I spoke to the next in line about it and asked them if I was BU or sensitive. They were horrified and told me to:

• Email the main manager (which I have done)

-Agreed when I said I was going to address the comment face to face and follow it up in an email to the colleague.

I spoke to the colleague in question, told her how it was completely inappropriate and very hurtful. Her reply? "ok". Not a sorry or anything.

Sent the follow up email and at the end as a separate note, reminded her how hurtful and inappropriate her comments were. The email was long with different headings for different matters that were discussed. Her reply? "Thank you".

So yeah, I will be taking this further with my manager on their return but I'm not sure what else will be done. I will be asking the manager to have a talk with her and remind her of policies in place around dignity and respect.

I have created a log so I noted it all down and I hope this is a one off incident, but I need to keep proof.

I am not involving HR at present, to be honest I have faith in my manager to deal with this. If it continues, then yes, I will take it further and I will tell my manager that.

Thank you to those with helpful replies :)

Sounds like you have it in hand now. I hope you can get back to enjoying your job.

Glad you have kept a log and will get to speak to the manager on there return. Take care xx

@ReginaaPhalange well done!

Don't feel guilty at this but that bitch has fucked up any hope of progression in your company especially as you had to go up the chain to report in your managers absence! So again well done!

Well done op, proud of you! She must've realised her error and must be feeling scared hopefully of potential hr issues, but still too pig headed to say sorry, tells it all really. Don't leave it here, talk to your manager and demand an apology. You got this!

Well handled OP.

Her view of your life choices is of no interest to you.
Her NOT being your manager, yet blaming you for the errors of others, proof of her lack of information, needs very firm handling.