I’ve had enough of the class dojo

[Myleftfoot39]

Every week one or two children win the dojo and get a prize. Some children have won it twice or three times. Today a child who defaced another child’s clothing (had written all over it in class) won it (they are in Year 2).

My ds is quiet, well behaved and works really hard. Does all his homework, is reading and writing and working hard. It’s awful but today he came out of school crying his eyes out because he thought he might win the dojo.

Even at bedtime he was upset about it.He doesn’t understand why the naughty kids get rewards but he feels ‘invisible’. He said there’s something wrong with him and is very upset.

I have reassured him and told him the dojo doesn’t matter but it really does matter to him. The teacher makes a big deal out of giving the dojo out as theres a photo of the child on the dojo for all to see.

I’m really fed up of it!!

Never quite understood what the dojo was but I remember there were always issues with it. It's the same with all the awards which never go to the children who actually deserve them, my children soon cottoned on that they go to a child who has misbehaved that week.

Reminds me of the day my child came home from a play date upset as a child had showed her porn on the internet (parents had removed the parental filter ) School advised etc. Two weeks later he got the head teachers award for that term for his improved behaviour across the year.....

The problem with any of these award systems is that they all fail the same way.

As proved by the posts on here.

The good kids get very little and the poorly behaved kids get rewards for acting like the good kids.

I’m stumped as to how schools think sometimes. My 15 year old has been badly bullied all this year at school. Nasty on line videos and threats. Shouting obscenities in school, shoving in the corridors basically she’s been harassed constantly. The other person has been moved to an outside classroom for kids that can’t access the main building due to poor behaviour. In this classroom they go on days out, get macdonalds for lunch etc etc. It’s awful for the kids who have been the victims to see. My daughter isn’t the first. Another girl attempted suicide after being bullied by the same person. I understand the logic behind it but still.

My son is autistic, he doesn't even get any points, though he is getting praise for effort almost every day in his paper diary. There is no way he will ever win Dojo. At 6 years old he knows he's 'not good enough ' thanks to this.

Oh God those awards are the pits! My kids only ever won them twice in total (and for DS one was for “trying harder with his work” talk about damning with faint praise!) Luckily my kids were the type who didn’t give a fuck. We just used to treat the award like a bit of a joke. I told my kids it was because they are awesome all the time and the awards went to the kids who needed a bit of encouragement.

Homework indefensible at that age. This whole dojo thing sounds phony.

@Cattitudes

We had similar until one day the reception teacher called me over and said my dc had been unusually disobedient that week. Turned to dc standing next to me and asked why. They said that they had noticed that 'weekly top star of the wonderful universe award manky toy thing' always went to a child that had been doing something naughty for a while but then did something good, so they had planned to do something naughty for a while and then be good so that it would finally be their turn. Teacher shuffled somewhat uncomfortably. They got their turn next. Really don't miss that fake prize aspect for not being quite so bad that day of primary school. Secondary school, you misbehave you get detention rather than an award.

Been there!

One of my boys told me that it was easy to win the star of the week award, equivalent to dojo award. Just be naughty all week then pull it together on the last day was his announcement.

It does happen a lot in classes which sucks.

Sorry, it is no help to you, but the exact same thing happened at my DDs school. The badly-behaved kids got the school bear more than the good kids. It was the same with everything. Everyone was rewarded regardless of effort in a ratio of more for less. My DDs became VERY cynical about it and it ceased to be an incentive or reward. DD1 said to me in Y2 that she had better start behaving badly, so that if she even did the tiniest thing well she would be rewarded massively. for your DC.

My Daughter was in year 3 when they held a trial run in just her year group for Dojo points and as a bright very intelligent quiet girl she just got on with everything asked no playing up what so ever but those children who misbehaved or struggled in class got the rewards not those doing what they should be.
She is now going into year 9. They had similar system when my son was at school naughty kids got more rewards (he is now 22) so it’s been a thing in schools for years and not just dojo points but any reward thing schools do.

@LovelyLadyLily

I hate things like this. I wish teachers understood that handing out one or two awards like 'Star of the Week' is exactly the same to little kids as handing out 28 'Not star of the week' awards. Is it really worth it?

In addition, my kids (and me actually) were the quiet, hardworking ones who never got noticed. Whereas the naughty kids seemed to win 'Not being a dick for 5 minutes' awards to 'encourage' them.

Do be aware that this is often a requirement by the head teacher. Teacher don’t like doing it either but are made to.

Take it as a compliment! Kids that do what their supposed to without fuss never get. Always the same needy kids that get.

We had this in school, a Class Star of the Week with a rabbit, when DS was in year 5

DS never got it. Always well behaved. Did his work, constantly told how great he was. However, he never got it.
DS being DS decided to ask why and was told it was because his attendance ( he has additional health issues which mean hospital appointments etc). He pointed out that people who were naughty had got it so why not him?
He said he couldn't help having appointments so it wasn't fair.
He came home and told me and I did speak to his teacher and said, you know what, he's right. Her response was that it was very unsportsmanlike to ask her!
I couldn't help but say, well then, maybe he will get it this week then since everyone naughty does.

He got it the week after

@Myleftfoot39

I was also really surprised that the child who had written ‘kick me’ all over another child’s clothing (on the back of her t shirt in school) got rewarded.

It’s the same old story I’m afraid. Happens in so many schools. By y3 or so, most kids have seen through it. In my Kids Y4 class the couple of kids who are destructive, angry, swearing at teacher or another child, hit or punched someone, or who have thrown crying strops for the slightest thing get the rewards all the time. Not only rewards, but they get to hand out the books, set things up, get the pe stuff out. All things that my DS would love to do but never ever gets picked. DS is middle of the class in ability and is usually well behaved but doesn’t like to speak up as he is scared he will get told off. He sees right through it and just says it’s always the kids with naughty behaviour that then do one ‘normal’ thing who get all the rewards and privileges

Our school doesn’t use class dojo for my son’s age group (he’s 6), only the school nursery class uses it and thankfully it’s to reward behaviour like sitting on the mat, or helping tidy the toys away which has been helpful for my 4 year old dd.

That said, there are other reward systems in place at school and my son never ever is chosen. He’s a very placid and easygoing child and every teacher has said that it’s quite easy to forget about him and most have. He’s also a bit of a daydreamer and I worry about him at school because unless he is focussed on something, he’s off in his own little daydreams.

Yes totally agree. My son is quiet, just gets on, not a standout academically but just ‘typical’. He used to get so upset over Dojos. Lo and behold it was usually the children that got the most attention (negatively) that got rewarded with them.
Such is state school nowadays. Everything dumbed down to the lowest common troublemaker.

My advice is. Don’t be a compliant parent. Be on at the staff constantly. Teachers are not in a vocation now, it’s a job and want the easiest way. Nag when needed and see the head if needed. Wish I had done this for my children. They only have one childhood. The teachers will have other classes. Good luck and fight for your child.

I am a teacher and we do have ClassDojo but it's to get positive points towards a weekly class reward. I don't do star of the week or anything like that because I don't like singling one student out above the rest. My son was the well behaved, hard working boy at school who was often overlooked because he was always good. It is important for those who struggle with behaviour to be rewarded when they make positive choices, but not at the cost of others. Speak to the teacher about this and if you get no joy, go to the key stage lead/assistant head.

So apart from rewarding bad behaviour, this is linked online to numerous schools? So all those people have access to information like where your child goes to school, which children will be more easily tempted into wrong doing? Plus, lockdown showed that many children seem to still not have access to computers at home so does that disadvantage them in this?
Are all parents aware that all this information is shared on computers between schools? 'My left foot39' seemed not to be.
I seem to read all the time that young children are posting inappropriate information about themselves online, like exactly where they are and what they're doing. To have something like this going out to multiple schools, seems a bit odd, or have I misunderstood completely?

The obvious thing to do is write a short and polite email to the school office for the attention of the teacher explaining Ds has been crying his eyes out and would it be possible for him to receive dojos at some point in the near future. Done. It means you have a written request should this ever be needed in future. Takes 2 minutes to write - less time than posting on Mumsnet. If problems persist or escalate you can follow up with reference to the dojo situation if needed.

Write to the Head and say these methods ard counter productive and are upsetting your child. Its a reward for bad behaviour. Not on.

When I was teaching, dojos were awarded for good behaviour, kindness, empathy for others etc. Those with the most dojos would get to choose their Golden Time activity first, for a Friday afternoon . Each activity was open only to a limited number of children, but every child would have a place somewhere.

Your son's situation reminds me of about 16 years ago when my youngest daughter was at 6th form college. There was a financial incentive for those working hard each week, but only open to those students receiving EMA ( Education Maintenance Allowance ) which in itself was an allowance to keep 'poorer' children at school. She really, really felt the injustice of that because she felt that the incentive should have been open to all the students.

Class dojo only shares the relevant information with the child and parents if they are set up (as in your own child's dojos not anyone else's.)
I believe there's a blog option to post class newsletters on and I suppose hypothetically personal information and photos would be shared, but that would have to be inline with photo permissions of each individual child.
Most schools keep newsletters impersonal eg. 3b loved learning about dragons and some of us read our poems in assembly, whilst others did a dance.

My friend who was a primary school teacher said the difficult kids are often awarded prizes to motivate them.
So they can be a pain in the bum most of the time and then the first time they concentrate something or listen or not hit the kid next to them they win the prize. She said often the kids who are just getting on with it don’t get a chance to be picked. 🙄

@Myleftfoot39

Yes it’s a real problem and yet I feel petty about being so pissed off. It shouldn’t matter but ds is so upset about it. I’ve tried to reason with him but he sees it as unfair and it actually is pretty unfair. I’m not sure what more I can do.

That's why people like Boris Johnson get to be PM, because "naughty" people are rewarded more than those who work hard. Unfair or what?