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Original poster

I’ve had enough of the class dojo

400 replies

Myleftfoot39 · 28/05/2021 23:19

Every week one or two children win the dojo and get a prize. Some children have won it twice or three times. Today a child who defaced another child’s clothing (had written all over it in class) won it (they are in Year 2).

My ds is quiet, well behaved and works really hard. Does all his homework, is reading and writing and working hard. It’s awful but today he came out of school crying his eyes out because he thought he might win the dojo.

Even at bedtime he was upset about it.He doesn’t understand why the naughty kids get rewards but he feels ‘invisible’. He said there’s something wrong with him and is very upset.

I have reassured him and told him the dojo doesn’t matter but it really does matter to him. The teacher makes a big deal out of giving the dojo out as theres a photo of the child on the dojo for all to see.

I’m really fed up of it!!

OP posts:
lanthanum · 29/05/2021 00:00

Mine never got star of the week until at least May. I explained that the teacher probably wanted everyone to get it at some point, and whereas if some children had a good week she needed to seize the opportunity, she knew that she'd always be able to find a reason to give it to DD. Of course I may have been wrong...

Original poster
Myleftfoot39 · 29/05/2021 00:04

A bit on a tangent here but just now wondering how the child managed to write all over another’s clothing in class without being seen? There’s a teacher and a TA so really not sure how it happened.

OP posts:
Mintsmints · 29/05/2021 00:31

I had to watch the little shit who held my DS head down the toilet that week get star of the week for about the 4th time that year. DS left not long after not just for that but it was the straw that broke the camels back

TotorosCatBus · 29/05/2021 00:38

If you contact the teacher then she'll probably pick your son next week.

My kids went to schools with awards like that but they quickly worked out that it's a system where everybody wins at least once or you win by mixing bad and good behaviour,

misspattylacosta · 29/05/2021 00:39

Of course contact the teacher!

LovelyLadyLily · 29/05/2021 00:41

I hate things like this. I wish teachers understood that handing out one or two awards like 'Star of the Week' is exactly the same to little kids as handing out 28 'Not star of the week' awards. Is it really worth it?

In addition, my kids (and me actually) were the quiet, hardworking ones who never got noticed. Whereas the naughty kids seemed to win 'Not being a dick for 5 minutes' awards to 'encourage' them.

BluePeterVag · 29/05/2021 01:01

YANBU. I got so sick of this I made a spreadsheet for a whole term to prove my point to the HT that this reward system was bollocks and some kids were getting mentions every other week and a small group had no mentions at all.
I booked an appointment with the HT and went through it, saying any reward now would be insincere but I wanted to show the system. HT was horrified and there followed a better system. I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m sad for doing what I did, it has made a massive difference to this kids who didn’t have a chance to shine.

BluePeterVag · 29/05/2021 01:03

Wish I could edit that. HT was horrified that some children weren’t being recognised. System now is fair and I have seen the huge boost in self esteem it has given to some of the ones who never got any form of recognition.

Kinny14 · 29/05/2021 01:07

It usually goes to the kids that don’t behave. Quiet kids go unnoticed and the rowdy bunch usually get it. Kid in my kids old school got student that never missed a day every year all the way through school. Same kid sent in sick and at times was throwing up but mammy wouldn’t take her home as she didn’t want to ruin her clean slate,

OppsUpsSide · 29/05/2021 01:07

Hate it, as a teacher I won’t use it.
But, behavioural reward systems are fairly bollocks, either everyone gets it in turns so it is null and void or those that go down realise fuck all happens and those that never would get onto ‘stormy cloud’ or whatever continue to behave as they would anyway.
Managing the behaviour and needs (because behaviour is a direct reflection of needs being met) of the individual children is much more complex than a behaviour chart.

Sh05 · 29/05/2021 01:19

This carries on into high school as well I'm afraid. Both my Ds always complain that they have to earn their rewards whereas some kids are just troublesome (on purpose) and have learned to play the system so not only do they dodge detentions but are always included in the rewards given out purely by behaving for one particular teacher who always falls for their deceiving behaviour.

Plumedenom · 29/05/2021 01:20

If you think that's bad, after a really shitty month of online lessons, ds' teacher gave rainbows to the few "good" kids (the loud mouths), clouds to "bad kids" ( children who struggled to sit looking at a screen for a month) and absolutely nothing to all the poor little buggers who sat there quietly listening and fruitlessly putting their hand up for a month (my son). I think it demotivated almost everyone.

TotorosCatBus · 29/05/2021 01:25

@BluePeterVag

YANBU. I got so sick of this I made a spreadsheet for a whole term to prove my point to the HT that this reward system was bollocks and some kids were getting mentions every other week and a small group had no mentions at all. I booked an appointment with the HT and went through it, saying any reward now would be insincere but I wanted to show the system. HT was horrified and there followed a better system. I don’t care if anyone thinks I’m sad for doing what I did, it has made a massive difference to this kids who didn’t have a chance to shine.
You did the right thing imo. When my kids were infants they saw the lack of prize until right at the end of the school year as proof that their teacher didn't like them much because they weren't noticed or remembered. I understand why an individual child might need a reward charter recognition when they make good choices but it doesn't have to be at the cost of the self esteem at the ones who just get on with things.
Awwlookatmybabyspider · 29/05/2021 01:32

"I've reassured him that the Dojo doesn't matter."

It does matter though and certainly to 6 or 7 year old. It also matters to you as a parent when your child is being over looked.

Im afraid I'd have to go in and politely but assertively say.
"Why hasnt (insert your sons name here)...... been given the Dojo award yet. He always does he home work. Hes Is well behaved in in class, doesn't cause any problems. Without disrespect I've noticed some kids have had it more than once"

Waterfallgirl · 29/05/2021 01:38

@Myleftfoot39

The teacher doesn’t really like speaking to parents, I have no way of talking to her apart from sending messages on dojo. I can try though. Ds has had points for helping others, doing his homework, etc. But the naughty kids are getting lots of points for not talking back to teacher so they always have more.
A teacher in ks1 ‘doesn’t like speaking to parents’ ! That’s quite shocking. Doesn’t the teacher allow you to make appointments to see parents when there are concerns ?
SympathyFatigue · 29/05/2021 01:42

@Myleftfoot39

Every week one or two children win the dojo and get a prize. Some children have won it twice or three times. Today a child who defaced another child’s clothing (had written all over it in class) won it (they are in Year 2).

My ds is quiet, well behaved and works really hard. Does all his homework, is reading and writing and working hard. It’s awful but today he came out of school crying his eyes out because he thought he might win the dojo.

Even at bedtime he was upset about it.He doesn’t understand why the naughty kids get rewards but he feels ‘invisible’. He said there’s something wrong with him and is very upset.

I have reassured him and told him the dojo doesn’t matter but it really does matter to him. The teacher makes a big deal out of giving the dojo out as theres a photo of the child on the dojo for all to see.

I’m really fed up of it!!

You're not alone. It feeds a weird generation of self important little turds. I just tell my child that they need it more than him because they struggle and he's lucky he doesn't.

It's crap. It's lazy teaching and it doesn't prepare kids for the real world where behaving badly gets you sacked, not employee of the month.
I'm all for praising improvement in behaviour but not class awards for turd turnaround of the week.

You just have to show your child that this isn't a reflection on them.

I'd not be demanding the teacher gives my child awards or anything similar, I'd just praise them myself. Leave the sloppy teaching methods at school.

Torvean · 29/05/2021 01:50

For around 2 years I worked in reception.

At the start of each term. A list would be typed up. If the child got the prize for that day it was noted.

It ensured that every child got to win it. And stops teachers that pick favourites, who don't care how a non-favourite child might feel.

The prize was tat to us, but it meant a lot to the children.

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 29/05/2021 01:54

Tell the teacher and he'll probably get it in the next few weeks.

In the next few years he'll figure out that the prize isn't what it's supposed to be, but is a "Well done for being a bit less disruptive than usual" prize.

PyongyangKipperbang · 29/05/2021 02:06

Not the same thing as as Dojo (having looked itup, glad DD's school dont do it) but there was a behaviour reward thing going on when DD2 and 2 were in primary (now 23 and 19)

Kids were given points for improved behaviour. Great for the little shits who got rewards for managing to spend a whole day without being a total little shit, but demotivating for the vast majority who behaved well all the time. My girls reacted the same way, tears for trying their absolute best but the bully winning a treat.

School binned this off within a year or so when it became clear that the kids with a modicum of intelligence worked out that being a PITA for one week and an angel the next got them a reward......who knew Hmm

bubblebubblebubbletrouble · 29/05/2021 02:29

Just message the teacher - your child will win it in the next couple of weeks.
Of course you shouldn't NEED to but if it's likely to solve the problem why wouldn't you 🤷‍♀️ although I love the idea of putting it in a spreadsheet and presenting it to the ht
Dd1 in a class this year where the same child is forever chosen for everything. Yes she's been tutored since yr2 & incredibly advanced but she doesn't need to be computer monitor and xyz as well. Suspect it's almost some weird unconscious bias - just easy when asked to pick somebody for x on the spot coz teacher seems otherwise great but awareness of impact on other kids is needed.....

katnyps · 29/05/2021 03:03

Somehow you need to teach him the philosophy of comparing yourself to who you were yesterday, not other people today, and how to feel good about yourself internally without needing the external validation of others ... because life isn't fair :(

Worstyear2020 · 29/05/2021 04:12

According to my kids, naughty children get rewards for doing what they supposed to do (like the rest of the class). I think this is like a encouragement for 'good behaviour' from the teachers, sod the quiet, well behaved kids. Yes, it's helpless for a lot of parents and confused kids.

steff13 · 29/05/2021 04:21

My daughter's school does Class Dojo, but I don't understand how anyone "wins." In her class, they get Dojo points, and they collect the points for prizes. It's not a competition.

Townorcountrysideliving · 29/05/2021 05:02

Our school uses it. My child has never won it. They use it as an incentive and to award good behaviour. However, the children who win it every week are often the ones with behavioural issues. So I suspect they are getting extra points for doing stuff other children already do (e.g. sitting nicely and getting on with their work). Personally, I'd rather they scrap it and find a fairer way to reward good behaviour because my child finds it demotivating and doesn't see the point in trying as he never gets it. I prefer the way it's done at my other child's school. There's no competition element. Children are individually awarded merits and when they fill up their merit markers they get a certificate. There's no race to complete it first and no competition element against their classmates. Works much better IMO.

Original poster
Myleftfoot39 · 29/05/2021 05:50

Ds teacher can be very sarcastic and this really puts me off communication with her. In lockdown we had very little help at home and parents found it hard. The work set was very hard and she must have been inundated with parents asking for clarification. She’d started writing comments next to work like ‘and this explanation is for mum and dad who need help too’ amongst other things.

There was also the forest school that only a third of the class were selected to go on for a few days a week for a term. The children who went were the ‘special’ ones (not SEN - our school has very few SEN - but kids who are very naughty).

Any attempt at changing things is met with a lot of resistance there, they are set in their ways.

OP posts: