I’ve had enough of the class dojo

[Myleftfoot39]

Every week one or two children win the dojo and get a prize. Some children have won it twice or three times. Today a child who defaced another child’s clothing (had written all over it in class) won it (they are in Year 2).

My ds is quiet, well behaved and works really hard. Does all his homework, is reading and writing and working hard. It’s awful but today he came out of school crying his eyes out because he thought he might win the dojo.

Even at bedtime he was upset about it.He doesn’t understand why the naughty kids get rewards but he feels ‘invisible’. He said there’s something wrong with him and is very upset.

I have reassured him and told him the dojo doesn’t matter but it really does matter to him. The teacher makes a big deal out of giving the dojo out as theres a photo of the child on the dojo for all to see.

I’m really fed up of it!!

Thank you leaf. I'd forgotten that I already do this, or to their previous year's teacher. You are right that they love it. Maybe that is all I need to do then. Do you think children or parents would perceive it as unfair if they had never been to see the Head? Would I be accused of bias or favouritism like someone upthread said? I am not against getting rid of a weekly reward but I do at least know everyone will experience it.

I think you avoid accusations of bias by getting rid of the assumption (among both parents and kids) that it will / should happen to everyone at some point.

@fourminutestosavetheworld

Actually I already give verbal praise all day, every day, for everything.

And I give house points for things like excellent work, sustained effort, taking a letter to the office, reminding me about something id have forgotten, holding a door open, helping a friend etc.

But I'd like to fairly reward children when they do something a bit more 'wow.'

I think the 'wow' rewards are completely different to these star of the week type systems. They're an exceptional thing for something exceptional.

That should be entirely individual. And not a 'better decide which child gets it this week and come up with a reason'.

Of course one child's 'wow' might be another's 'stop being lazy and get on with it'. That's where knowing the kids matters.

I think this kind of thing is much better for helping with understanding and compassion because it's about getting everyone to recognise and celebrate each other's achievements and to see that people have different strengths, weaknesses, interests and so on. And there's no limit on who can get one. If three kids do something worth celebrating, then they can all be commended for it. Whatever it is.

Of course one child's 'wow' might be another's 'stop being lazy and get on with it'. That's where knowing the kids matters.

Yes! But it’s always going to be a problem - as we can see from this thread - where other parents don’t trust the teacher’s judgement and think they know the kids.

I like to give kids a blank postcard they can decorate at the beginning of the year. I then absent mindedly shuffle them randomly in lessons. They are for achievement though, but that can vary from the arty kid. Doing a great portrait to the kid who hated pe doing sports day.
They get sent home without fanfare from senior leadership when the kid does something good. I can't duplicate because it's their own card. I do have to make sure everyone is there the day I do it though.

@fourminutestosavetheworld

Thank you leaf. I'd forgotten that I already do this, or to their previous year's teacher. You are right that they love it. Maybe that is all I need to do then. Do you think children or parents would perceive it as unfair if they had never been to see the Head? Would I be accused of bias or favouritism like someone upthread said? I am not against getting rid of a weekly reward but I do at least know everyone will experience it.

I think, as long as you're reflecting on fairness and whether you are recognising the unremarkable middle too when they're excelling, as you go along, then anyone complaining is being ridiculous.

My son swims competitively. He wins lots of medals. He competes at county and regional level (and will again when that's possible). He's looking to national times. They did swimming lessons throughout Y6. There's no point in praising him for being a far, far better swimmer than his classmates. That's just not reasonable. Him doing a 1500m badge while they're swimming far, far less means nothing (he could swim that years before and is just faster at it now).

I'm not going to stamp my feet because Bobby gets an award for struggling his way through but making it to 25m. I'd hope DS recognised that as an actual achievement, unlike his efforts. If I did, I'd hope the school would tell me to stop being ridiculous. I'd deserve it.

OTOH, when he did achieve a time that ranked him in the top 10 in the UK (and number 2 in Scotland), his school did mention it during the praise bit of the assembly. Because it was a wow moment for him.

Individual and meaningful rewards are much more motivating and inclusive. It's important that the kids learn to celebrate effort as much as outcome and to appreciate that some people work very hard to get half as far as them.

@FishyFriday this is exactly the issue.

It is a huge wow when my 6YO manages to join in at circle time. It means she has managed to be in the classroom, when often she can't cope with the noise, and has managed to sit close to the other 29 children, which she finds overwhelm her and has managed to sit throughout rather getting upset and running out of the classroom. It is a huge achievement for her and absolutely should be awarded.

In my opinion it is very individual for each child, you can have children who just coast without really putting any amount of effort who aren't really any more deserving than a child managing to be a class when they often can't manage it. It is all relative and parents should keep their noses out

@Mrsfrumble

Of course one child's 'wow' might be another's 'stop being lazy and get on with it'. That's where knowing the kids matters.

Yes! But it’s always going to be a problem - as we can see from this thread - where other parents don’t trust the teacher’s judgement and think they know the kids.

I suspect that's unavoidable sadly. All a school can do us to explain that it's about celebrating individual successes which will always vary.

Tbh, I'd imagine things have improved since my school days where the same 3 kids got all the rewards every time and no one else. That's the sort of thing that pisses parents off. If one kid is getting 'wow' rewards regularly, it's maybe time to reassess what 'wow' is for them.

Absolutely @Mumofsend.

Other parents need to mind their own business really. And maybe recognise that effort and intention are probably more important than outcomes and achievements.

Yeah we have it as well... I actually don’t get it - they have star of the week, house points, merit badges, and dojo points!! Luckily there are so many different types of award mine do win something most weeks but I agree that when the same badly behaved kids win stuff all the time its unfair...

It's just the way it is unfortunately.

I ended up going into school when DS was in year 5 as he was having trouble with one particular boy. A week later, said boy received the Star of the class termly certificate. I probably wouldn't have minded but on the certificate it specified what the child needed to do to receive it, one being particularly nice to other children - not particularly nice seeing that after what he did to DS, but there you go!

I'm relieved DS is now in secondary school and there seems to be less of that sort of thing..

Our primary had an achievement assembly led by the Head once a half term where out of school achievement eg music grades, sport achievement and charity fundraising was celebrated. Those children would then get their name in the newsletter. While some children would get mentioned regularly, it was only once a half term unlike the Star of the Week awards that would be weekly all year.

I understand that the reason for Star of The Week varies for each child but if you're a forgotten one does that mean that the child never does anything noteworthy ? Of course not but the praise will mean as much to them as the rest of the class.

@FishyFriday

Absolutely *@Mumofsend*.

Other parents need to mind their own business really. And maybe recognise that effort and intention are probably more important than outcomes and achievements.

Maybe schools need to have systems that don't inform parents who has won this week. My kids aren't young enough to have had Class Dojo and in their time- the list of winners were printed monthly in the newsletter without indication of how many times prizes were won although the kids knew.

I don't think it's unreasonable to hope that your child wins once an academic year ( if that's what they want.)

It is so demoralising for kids and it is SO WRONG!

@SunnydaleClassProtector99

I like to give kids a blank postcard they can decorate at the beginning of the year. I then absent mindedly shuffle them randomly in lessons. They are for achievement though, but that can vary from the arty kid. Doing a great portrait to the kid who hated pe doing sports day. They get sent home without fanfare from senior leadership when the kid does something good. I can't duplicate because it's their own card. I do have to make sure everyone is there the day I do it though.

I like this approach, I might steal it for next year. As it is, I send emails/notes home when a child has been especially good. Sometimes we'll do a class marble jar towards Christmas or summer when everyone is tired and we need something to look forward to.

I don't like the reward systems in classes - it's teaching a child to behave for a dip in the prize box rather than behave because it's the right thing to do. And I think it sets up unreasonable expectations for later in life. Of course some children need additional supports and something visual like a star chart, I've no problem with that - but most children I teach don't need any of the fluff.

I don't like the reward systems in classes - it's teaching a child to behave for a dip in the prize box rather than behave because it's the right thing to do. And I think it sets up unreasonable expectations for later in life
Agree. Also it's not very eco giving out plastic tat. I do like the idea of pencils you grow I saw on Mumsnet the other day. But I'd probably do that as an end of term gift rather than prize.

@SunnydaleClassProtector99

I don't like the reward systems in classes - it's teaching a child to behave for a dip in the prize box rather than behave because it's the right thing to do. And I think it sets up unreasonable expectations for later in life Agree. Also it's not very eco giving out plastic tat. I do like the idea of pencils you grow I saw on Mumsnet the other day. But I'd probably do that as an end of term gift rather than prize.

My principal keeps 'fancy' pencils on her desk (they're not particularly fancy but the kids treat them like they're gold plated) and gives them out to kids who get sent to her for positive reasons. Those pencils are a huge deal among our kids. There's ways to do the physical rewards but you're right, it doesn't have to be loads of plastic tat.

I'm also a grump who doesn't give my kids Christmas or summer presents

I don’t want to speak to the teacher about ds not getting the dojo.I know what the teacher is like and I think she would just dig her heels in and nothing would change.

The teacher does have favourites. One child has won the dojo three or four times, the teacher personally wished this child happy birthday on the dojo and no other child has had this. Many other things lead me to this conclusion.

The worst of it is that I have heard ds will have this same teacher next year and I don’t think that would be good for his morale.

How do you know that he'll have the same teacher next year? It seems very early to announce this.

If she has only ever said Happy Birthday to one child via Class Dojo might there be a reason for this? I doubt any teacher would be daft enough to be so obvious about a favourite. Maybe the child had been excited in the run-up but then off on the day, or went home early feeling unwell, or the teacher wasn't in that day so posted from home, or parents specifically requested it, or there was some sort of in-joke in the classroom.

I think it's very unhealthy to be tracking what other children get, who has won what. I don't know how you know that only two children haven't had it really unless you're keeping a record. Just ask what he needs to do to get it before the end of the year.

How do you know that he'll have the same teacher next year? It seems very early to announce this.

Same way that OP knows exactly who’s on the SN register, I imagine.

@Myleftfoot39

I don’t want to speak to the teacher about ds not getting the dojo.I know what the teacher is like and I think she would just dig her heels in and nothing would change.

The teacher does have favourites. One child has won the dojo three or four times, the teacher personally wished this child happy birthday on the dojo and no other child has had this. Many other things lead me to this conclusion.

The worst of it is that I have heard ds will have this same teacher next year and I don’t think that would be good for his morale.

Then nothing will change.

If you seriously believe the teacher won't care that your DS is crying and upset then you have bigger issues than class dojo points.

I could have written this myself! My son is quiet, hard working, gets along with everyone but there’s one boy in his class who is violent almost every day and he got the award the other week and my son hasn’t had it yet even though he tries his best all the time :(

Winners and losers, everyone needs to learn it. As a parent it’s your job to teach kids that’s the way of the world.

I completely understand your frustration. I mentioned a similar issue a couple of years back to my child's teacher during a parent teacher meeting. These rewards seemed to be aimed at getting naughty children to behave but no incentive for an already well behaved child. Funnily enough my son got it the following week 🤷‍♀️

He is learning at an early age that being good does not pay. Cheats always win and bad kids always get what they want.
If you cause enough trouble you will get what you want. It was like that when I went to school. My mother sat up for hours making me a fancy dress outfit. Guess who won first prize? The kid who's mother bought on from the fancy dress shop....grr
Life is unfair and it will never change. Work places are the same. Full of cronyism!