Page 10 | I’ve had enough of the class dojo

Bbq1 · 30/05/2021 18:36

@Myleftfoot39

Every week one or two children win the dojo and get a prize. Some children have won it twice or three times. Today a child who defaced another child’s clothing (had written all over it in class) won it (they are in Year 2).

My ds is quiet, well behaved and works really hard. Does all his homework, is reading and writing and working hard. It’s awful but today he came out of school crying his eyes out because he thought he might win the dojo.

Even at bedtime he was upset about it.He doesn’t understand why the naughty kids get rewards but he feels ‘invisible’. He said there’s something wrong with him and is very upset.

I have reassured him and told him the dojo doesn’t matter but it really does matter to him. The teacher makes a big deal out of giving the dojo out as theres a photo of the child on the dojo for all to see.

I’m really fed up of it!!

That's a shame. We give individual points but use the class points for rewards. For example, the class aim to get 200 points in total and when that goal is reached, then they all get a small treat like bring a toy in/extra choice time etc.

Clusterfckintolerant · 30/05/2021 18:48

It's not okay.
We have "Star of the Week" awards and our 4 yr old has won it once this school year on a class of 14. She was so miserable about it that we downloaded a certificate and pretended it had arrived from school. We chose not to raise it with staff, because we weren't convinced we wouldn't be fobbed off and they're no strangers to fobbery at our primary. Fobbage? Fobbity? Anyway. That's just us but by all means, tell them their approval system is upsetting your child. It's shit and they bear responsibility.

Island35 · 30/05/2021 18:49

I would contact the head primarily stating why you've not contacted the class teacher on this occasion and then bullet point everything you have raised here. They can't argue against facts or argue against feelings.
I am a teacher and personally really detest rewarding good behaviour when an individual has been badly behaved as the consistently well behaved remain unnoticed. To have favourites is just wrong, the year we sent out birthday cards we wrote them at the beginning of the academic year and the date where the stamp would be stuck, every child in the year group received one.

LauraPearl · 30/05/2021 18:49

Maybe the kid who had "been naughty" actually suffers from a Special Educational Need, and/or apart from the defacing if the other kid's shirt, had had an otherwise exceptional week/day at school? Maybe his/her behaviour had improved on the last week? It's not right to begrudge another child the accolade, just because you child of 6/7 has decided that the other child didn't deserve it.

Your DC will get his turn, and you'll be proud as punch when he does.

pollypot123 · 30/05/2021 18:50

At my son’s first school, if a child was always good, they were ignored. If a child behaved badly and then pulls his socks up a bit, they were showered with praise. It’s very de-motivating for children and mine shut down completely. He’s now moved to a school where every child is considered as an individual and is rewarded according to their own accomplishments. Game changer.

pumpkintree · 30/05/2021 18:54

@Myleftfoot39

Yes it’s a real problem and yet I feel petty about being so pissed off. It shouldn’t matter but ds is so upset about it. I’ve tried to reason with him but he sees it as unfair and it actually is pretty unfair. I’m not sure what more I can do.

Tell your child loudly in the yard, preferably in front of the teacher DoJo Is for naughty kids- We no longer have it

The school decided it wasn't working as they wanted it to!

newnortherner111 · 30/05/2021 18:57

I think you should contact the school, up to you how you express it. I cannot imagine your DS is alone in his feelings.

genius1308 · 30/05/2021 19:04

I hear you. My 6 year old (year 1) is very well behaved. Top of the class for spellings, highest phonics group, highest reading group etc but rarely gets dojos. I'm not being 'that parent', I have an older child who defintely isn't very academic, so I'm not just saying 'my child is smart'. The teacher has even said he's working at y2 level already and he picks everything up so quickly. I asked him last week why he never gets many dojos (usually 1 or 2 a week) and he said 'only the really naughty kids get dojos, if they do 1 thing right they get a dojo'...out of the mouth of babes! I even asked is teacher, just about his behaviour in general incase I was deluded about how well he was doing. His teacher said 'he's fabulous, does everything asked of him, picks everything up really quickly, stays away from the 'silly children', I wish they were all like him'. Well maybe if you started praising the ones like him and not the ones that misbehave all the time then you might have a few more like him....Just a thought! It infuriates me, for his sake.

Sweettea1 · 30/05/2021 19:14

Snap they are crap my LG says they have toget to 20 in a week then it starts again most she gets is 7/8. They shouldn't refresh it weekly or fortnightly but just leave untill they reach 20 then start again.

Gbtch · 30/05/2021 19:20

Rewards like this are crap. My daughter was like your son. A good well behaved worker. She so wanted some stars ( that’s what it was in our time) she stole a handful in the end. I was heartbroken. Shit system.

Gbtch · 30/05/2021 19:22

Told her not to worry about the stupid stars. Set up our own reward system at home.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/05/2021 19:22

This was my experience all through primary school. I remember being 9 and my mother finally ringing into school in the july when every single other child had won the weekly effort prize at least once and it was going round a second time, to ask if I was doing something wrong as I never won it. I obviously got it the next week but knew my mother had had to kick off. Why do some teachers do this? No, doing well in class is NOT "prize enough" if you are working just as hard but everyone else is being given prizes for the same effort and you always miss out purely because you are bright. Not when you are 9.

One thing to have a varying threshold of achievement to ensure everyone has a chance at winning, but it's just plain nasty to engineer it so the brightest children never get anything.

smilingontheinside · 30/05/2021 19:24

The "invisible" children, huh this sounds so familiar. My dd cried as never got her sticker card filled to win and wanted to know why the kids who misbehaved got stickers. At parents pm I spoke to her teacher who apologised and said that she was so sorry that dd was one of the invisible children, who came to school, did what they were asked, never caused any issues. As a teacher she got caught up with the gifted kids and the difficult kids and knew that she didn't need to worry about the rest and forgot to reward them. So still happens and so unfair.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 30/05/2021 19:26

Maybe the kid who had "been naughty" actually suffers from a Special Educational Need, and/or apart from the defacing if the other kid's shirt, had had an otherwise exceptional week/day at school?

What and her kid never bloody has a week that good? No it's not on, and it is actually really disingenuous, as it sets such low expectations on those children who do have worse behaviour or lower attainment, by rewarding them for the bare minimum more often than not.

Washyourtoes · 30/05/2021 19:27

@SchadenfreudePersonified

This used to happen in my kids' school, too.

There was one particular boy who was a nightmare, and he would be awarded the "Clever Clogs" for NOT destroying other children's work (he would often rip up their work, or tear their pictures in half).

Any complaints to the school were met wit, "We want to encourage good behaviour, not just punish bad." Which is fair enough - but other children had their bad behaviour punished while this little monkey got away with murder!

For the record, he wasn't on "The Spectrum", or from challenging home circumstances - he was juts an over-indulged little bugger whose parents saw nothing wrong in his behaviour and a teacher who had him sitting on her knee for half the lesson. He was very intelligent and his mother claimed that this meant that he got bored easily (fair enough), BUT he was given more challenging work than the rest of the class. He just HAD to be the centre of attention - he was at home too.*

It was very upsetting for other children who had worked their socks off, not to even get a sniff of the sh*tty "Clever Clogs".

*His younger sister came off her bike and knocked herself unconscious. She was "out" for over an hour - mum didn't take her to casualty because she "hadn't got time to sit in a waiting room half a day". And worse - mum didn't see anything wrong in her attitude.

Um that sounds like very challenging home circumstances reading your addendum there...

wingsanddreams · 30/05/2021 19:29

Same here, kids with learning difficulties and behaviour issues get rewards more often. Hardworking and well behaved kids get only once per term if lucky because they don't need motivation to be good. It's understandable that it's hard for teachers to manage so many kids with different learning levels and health issues in school. But it is a bit of a worry that in a way the system is treating hard working kids who have no health/behaviour issues unfairly. Luckily my kids understand and say the teachers are doing so to help other kids to improve. They do often earn the highest Dojo points and get certificates, but not so often in rewards. I guess its a recognition for their hard work.

Getoutofbed25 · 30/05/2021 19:38

Fox I hate this, similar issues with ‘Star of the week’ my son told me he was going to be naughty to see if he did 1 good thing he would get it! Send an email it’s the only way

Plunger · 30/05/2021 19:47

It's the same with who gets the leading roles in Nativity plays, School plays anything that has a 'star' role. The good quiet well behaved overlooked children, don't get a look in. The loud, in your face, always
there whilst the well behaved act as their 'backing singers'. Unless all children can be equally acknowledged these ' prizes' should abolished

jentinquarantino20 · 30/05/2021 19:51

Yeah I’m with you on that. It always seems to be the same children who get focused on and my daughter has said herself she never gets noticed. She is really bright too.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 30/05/2021 19:52

@Plunger

It's the same with who gets the leading roles in Nativity plays, School plays anything that has a 'star' role. The good quiet well behaved overlooked children, don't get a look in. The loud, in your face, always there whilst the well behaved act as their 'backing singers'. Unless all children can be equally acknowledged these ' prizes' should abolished

Actually, you will find there's very little overlap between the children for whom rewards are used as a behaviour managing tool and the ones that get the "star" roles. It does happen sometimes of course, but it's not common at all.

Beyondridiculous · 30/05/2021 19:55

My son got stabbed in the leg by a kid with a pencil in year 1, a present the teacher had bought each member of the class at the school trip they’d just got back from. He’s got a graphite tattoo now, probably for life. Two days later the kid who did it got ‘star of the day’, his punishment was missing his break the next day.....
Next year my son hit a kid who pushed him and missed his whole lunch. Meanwhile girls run around the playground pushing who ever they like but cos they are “tiny girls”, nothing happens. And I have a daughter too so know it’s a difference for genders.

Fiftiesfresh · 30/05/2021 19:56

Oh dear. I see nothing has changed.

This blatantly went on when my boys were at school...they left well over a decade ago. (so in those days obviously not so sophisticated as an online system! ) And ''the teacher doesnt really like speaking to parents'' yes, we came across a few of them also.

Eventually I taught my boys to accept it, seeing it as preparation for the unfairness that life sometimes brings, and as long as they knew they were doing their best and were receiving plenty of praise and encouragement from home. I did bring it up a couple of times at parents evenings, got the inevitable platitudes ''oh, fiftiesboy is doing absolutely fine in class, we dont have any concerns''

I

Supergirl1958 · 30/05/2021 19:58

@Myleftfoot39 if you feel that strongly about it, go over her head with the evidence to the headteacher!!

Cam2020 · 30/05/2021 20:03

I remember the feeling myself from being at school myself when team points were dished out to the disruptive pupils left right and centre, while the kids who just got on with it got nothing. Really disheartening and it's disappointing this is still happening.

Birminghambloke · 30/05/2021 20:13

@Island35

I would contact the head primarily stating why you've not contacted the class teacher on this occasion and then bullet point everything you have raised here. They can't argue against facts or argue against feelings. I am a teacher and personally really detest rewarding good behaviour when an individual has been badly behaved as the consistently well behaved remain unnoticed. To have favourites is just wrong, the year we sent out birthday cards we wrote them at the beginning of the academic year and the date where the stamp would be stuck, every child in the year group received one.

As a teacher, why would you encourage bypassing a teacher to go to the Headteacher? Wouldn’t you wish to have the first chance to respond to the parent’s concerns? Surely you’d only want contact with your Headteacher after a parent was not satisfied with your response?