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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a 4 hour nap, 3 times a week?

146 replies

NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 19:51

DS is up from 3/4am without fail, every single day. Sometimes as early as 2.30. He's up, he's jumping, he's happy and never seems tired.

No, the drugs don't work. Yes, I've tried bringing his bedtime forward consistently for a week or so. Wakes up same time. No, nobody can get up with him instead.

When he's at nursery I often sleep for 3/4 hours a day. I switch up my diary to suit this.

He starts school in September so I should be getting 5 days a week to nap.

AIBU? The reason I ask is, I phoned GP to ask in desperation if there was a drug to keep me awake that he could prescribe. I described my sleeping to him and he told me off! For sleeping in the day and said that would actually make you more tired.

OP posts:
YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 27/05/2021 19:55

Do whatever you need to do to survive

Or ask the GP to come round at 2.30am and look after your kid.

Original poster
NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 19:56

Thank you - GP seems very insistent that napping in the day will just make things worse for me Sad

OP posts:
UpSlyDown · 27/05/2021 19:57

I don’t blame you for doing that and if I were you I’d be so excited for the opportunity to sleep in September. If you are getting that little sleep at night surely you need to recoup it somehow that GP sounds a bit unfair.

It sounds like you don’t have a partner who can help out, do you work? How are you managing that if you do?

Is there any way you can make his room safe and allow him to watch tv in the early hours on his own while you sleep next to him? Not ideal but it doesn’t sound sustainable for anyone at the moment.

Lazydaz · 27/05/2021 19:57

Whatever works for you!

DuvetCaterpillar · 27/05/2021 19:58

When it comes to children's (lack of) sleep, you never have to take advice from anyone who isn't going to pop round at 3am to put it into practice with you. Do whatever helps you live through it. Hugs and courage to you, prolonged sleep deprivation is hell on earth.

iolaus · 27/05/2021 19:59

The only thing I would maybe suggest trying is have you tried putting him to bed earlier and going early yourself

I remember my mum saying I would always wake by 5am, she tried putting me to bed later and I'd still be up at 5am, then she realised if she put me to bed at 6pm or 10pm I'd still be up at 4-5am, so she would put me down at 6pm and go to bed early herself (by 9)

iolaus · 27/05/2021 20:00

However if napping in the day works for you thats fine - but it doesn't sound like you particularly want to be napping

Original poster
NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 20:00

DS won't watch telly, he will wiggle and jump in front of a TV with peppa on for 5 minutes, but that's it.

Otherwise I'd be using technology all the way without shame! I need to sleep.

I don't see how having a nap can be so bad when I'm not getting enough sleep in the first place.

GP before that, who I saw a few months back, suggested I take a look at my diet and consider why I'm so tired from that. Nobody seems to think getting up at these eye watering times is that bad really

But it's torture some nights Envy

OP posts:
Spaghettio · 27/05/2021 20:01

I've never understood people who say that napping will make you more tired. How does that make any sense?

You need sleep. You're getting sleep. It might not all be in one go, but you're still getting sleep! 🤷🏻‍♀️

Ignore the GP. Have a nap. 😴

usernamechanged345 · 27/05/2021 20:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo · 27/05/2021 20:02

I nap most days and my babies are 16 and 14. Years. Grin

Your doctor is correct, napping in the day isn't helpful long term. But I don't care. I like my naps.

DancingQueen85 · 27/05/2021 20:02

I don't have any advice but this sounds very hard. You have my sympathies

Original poster
NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 20:02

@iolaus DS finally falls asleep around 9. Earliest. There is no winding down with him, despite sticking to strict routine. One second he's bouncing and giddy, the next he's asleep. There's no gradual winding down that seems to come with other children

I can't go to bed any earlier than 10. I want a little bit of life too Sad

OP posts:
AmandaHoldensLips · 27/05/2021 20:04

Your GP sounds like an idiot.
Napping kept me sane.

Akire · 27/05/2021 20:05

230 is the middle Of the night no wonder you are wrecked. What time do you go to bed in the evening? If sleep 3h in the afternoon gets your through till bed time go for it. Who gets up 230am and then wake all day till say9pm and feels fine Confused that’s 5h sleep if you are lucky.

NeverDropYourMoonCup · 27/05/2021 20:05

I don't think it's the end of the world to sleep in two parts a day - I don't see four hours as a nap, that's a full night for me proper sleep, but he is right that having that much sleep will bugger up any chance of sleeping properly at night. DP does it sometimes and then he's pissed off that he's awake for the entire night other than about twenty minutes before the alarm goes off.

You certainly don't need amphetamines to keep you awake. That's the cue to addiction, no fucking sleep at all for days on end, hallucinating from lack of sleep, irritability and the mother of all comedowns when you don't take them and are still awake, feel like your eyes are about to burst and you start imaging what life will be like when your DS is an adult and moved away and you'll die alone and old.

Has DS been assessed for ADHD, though?

annieannietomjoe · 27/05/2021 20:06

Not going to judge but perhaps trying to solve the 2.30am/3/4 starts is going to work better in the long term?!? How much sleep is he having? I am sure you have tried everything and this is a super unhelpful comment but if he is really undersleeping a lot per 24 hours then I would reach out to the GP (privately if you can afford) to see if there is anything that can help. If he has ASD for instance than seratonin can help. Anyways cudos to you for even being able to write an AIBU ad your schedule sounds TOUGH

Amammai · 27/05/2021 20:07

Is your DS old enough to bribe a bit?? Start with a small treat for each day he stays in his room quietly until the sun comes up on a gro clock (set it to something attainable for him) Then the next week push it by 15 mins and offer a new small treat. Repeat until you can get to a more manageable time (I’m guessing even 5am would be a lie in after what you’ve survived!) Absolutely don’t drop your own sleep for now though, especially if you’re able to still work etc around it. You need sleep!

billy1966 · 27/05/2021 20:07

You do WHATEVER gets you through the day.

Siesta has proven to be life enhancing and lengthening.

My husband is a power napper his whole life.

He has been known to put his head on his desk after lunchbfor literally 20 minutes, out cold, to wake refreshed.

I couldn't do it, but it really works for him.

Hopefully school will knock him out.

YouBringLightInToADarkPlace · 27/05/2021 20:07

My oldest DS has always been a horrendous sleeper, everyone seems to have an opinion on what I should or shouldn't do. They aren’t there in the dark, long nights though and if they were they would realise that I have tried everything, everything.
Good luck OP it's brutal...

QueenImprov · 27/05/2021 20:07

Napping is unhelpful if you get into pattern of struggling to fall asleep at night so napping during the day to make up for it, which makes it hard to fall asleep at night again. Sounds like you probably don't struggle with that, and just making up for sleep you are missing out on. Nap away I think!

Original poster
NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 20:08

He has been on Melatonin but it hasn't helped at all 😭 I prayed it would save my sanity but it hasn't

Funnily enough he never seems tired at nursery school Hmm just lively all day, every day. Causing havoc and doing my head in from the exhaustion sometimes

I've gotten use to it quite a bit but those long naps when he isn't here are like little kisses from angels above Blush

OP posts:
AlwaysLatte · 27/05/2021 20:08

I think sleeping tablets are more long lasting so won't work for naps so much. What about looking into melatonin for your son? I would have thought though that when he starts school he'll be exhausted and the sleep thing will resolve itself!

Rumplestrumpet · 27/05/2021 20:09

Sleep deprivation is absolute torture, you need to survive and get sleep when you can.

But it must also be awful for your son - he's not getting enough sleep either. Have you sought help for him? And is he possibly autistic? The kids I know who sleep like this (or should I say don't sleep, like this) are ASD diagnosed. Either way, definitely need a referral to a sleep clinic as he's going to really struggle with school on such little sleep

And your GP is right that, if you're having trouble sleeping at night, daytime naps will make it worse. But that's if you have insomnia, not if you're being woken by your child!

AlwaysLatte · 27/05/2021 20:09

Sorry just seen you've tried that...