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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take a 4 hour nap, 3 times a week?

146 replies

NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 19:51

DS is up from 3/4am without fail, every single day. Sometimes as early as 2.30. He's up, he's jumping, he's happy and never seems tired.

No, the drugs don't work. Yes, I've tried bringing his bedtime forward consistently for a week or so. Wakes up same time. No, nobody can get up with him instead.

When he's at nursery I often sleep for 3/4 hours a day. I switch up my diary to suit this.

He starts school in September so I should be getting 5 days a week to nap.

AIBU? The reason I ask is, I phoned GP to ask in desperation if there was a drug to keep me awake that he could prescribe. I described my sleeping to him and he told me off! For sleeping in the day and said that would actually make you more tired.

OP posts:

IdblowJonSnow · 27/05/2021 21:45

Your gp is a massive twat. Absolutely you should nap/sleep as much as possible!

Muststopeating · 27/05/2021 21:45

That sounds grim. My bet is GP is male and/or doesn't have kids (or at least not kids that don't sleep). You have my full sympathy.

As for naps... your GP clearly hasn't listened to WHY you are tired and assumed you are in a vicious cycle.

Google sleep debt... making up lost sleep is critical to good quality sleep.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 27/05/2021 21:46

You obviously need to have those naps in order to feel human. I would take no notice of your GP.

travelabroadstayabroad · 27/05/2021 21:48

Re. melatonin I remember a discussion about the different types. IIRC is it tablets/liquid? Some people found one did not work for their DC while another did. Plus there was some discussion about the time of day to take it.
Might be worth trying it in a different formulation/dose/time?
I know you said your DC wouldn't go to bed earlier, but we only managed with a 5am waking child (most of primary school, sorry to say, perhaps improving to 6.30am through primary) with night time wake-ups by putting to bed at 6.30-7.30pm, giving us an hour or two of peace before an early night ourselves.
I do sympathise about everyone's 'helpful' input, while acknowledging that my input is probably equally 'helpful', sorry.

inthekitchensink · 27/05/2021 21:48

Sleep sleep sleep, make sleeping your hobby for as long as your body needs you too. Try adding up your sleep hours over the week and divide by 7 - I bet you’re getting 8-9 hours a day if you’re lucky. After a while if you’re well & healthy you’ll recalibrate to what your body needs then too.

hiredandsqueak · 27/05/2021 21:51

My son with autism has never slept through the night his whole life. He can quite happily manage on twenty hours sleep a week. Now an adult it's far more bearable because he can entertain himself in his room but as a toddler and young child it was a killer. I used to have to nap during the day when he was at school to survive. I don't think your GP has ever experienced the sort of sleep deprivation that comes with having a non sleeping child.

travelabroadstayabroad · 27/05/2021 21:53

Apparently liquid melatonin works faster than tablets. If you have tablets, crush them for faster effect, or take e.g. one hour before bed, or crush one and swallow one whole for fast effect that lasts longer. Phenergan also worth a try.

landofgiants · 27/05/2021 21:56

NB I'm not suggesting that your son's sleep cycle is a lack of training or anything, just what worked for us. DS is very routine based, so once he gets into a habit, he will do it (almost) every day. I am suggesting that the situation may well improve, it certainly has for us. When DS was a baby he would sleep for 5 hours per 24 hour period. That was total sleep and it took a lot of effort to achieve. I was on my knees!

Mincepiesallyearround · 27/05/2021 21:59

Keep taking the naps. I love a nap and mine are ok sleepers! Sorry if this is a dim question but have you tried a weighted blanket with him?

LizzieMacQueen · 27/05/2021 22:00

I see it mentioned a few times above but I'd recommend you look at a weighted blanket and cutting out additives in your son's diet. It may be that school, with it's emphasis on learning, will tire his brain more than nursery.

Branleuse · 27/05/2021 22:00

well you have to sleep, and if you have to be up half the night, then makes sense to catch up in the days when you can. Hopefully school will get him more tired. Ignore the doctor. Hes a GP, not a sleep expert

itsgettingwierd · 27/05/2021 22:01

@Milesbennettdyson

A child of that age being allowed to get out of bed at that time is ridiculous. The first time my child did that they were told in uncertain terms it’s the middle of the night and to go back to bed.

That's great.

Not so easy with a autistic child who doesn't understand.

So what you need to sleep. When my ds amassed ( hours over 2/3 shifts a night) and I worked FT it nearly broke me. If I wasn't a LP and could afford not to work I would have napped the whole school day

Seesawmummadaw · 27/05/2021 22:01

I also have a child (although now an adult) with asd. I still nap because I don’t sleep!
As you describe, he’s all or nothing. No in between stage! He just doesn’t seem to get tired! He wants to discuss the great fire of London at 3am. Obviously it’s easier for me now he’s grown as he’s safe when awake on his own but he likes company!
I work long hours but on my days off I sleep. Naps are a life saver.

FakeColinCaterpillar · 27/05/2021 22:04

I would, at least on some nights, go for bed at the same time as him. It would add up on a few more hours over the week.

The only advice I have is there was a boy at playgroup when DD was small who was bouncing off the walls. His mum took him swimming every single day and said it was the only way for him to burn off energy. He was still full of beans but she said it just took the edge off.

MrsReeves · 27/05/2021 22:07

@WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo

I nap most days and my babies are 16 and 14. Years.

Your doctor is correct, napping in the day isn't helpful long term. But I don't care. I like my naps.

Me too

and mine are 21, 19 and 9. I've always been a napper.

BigHeadBertha · 27/05/2021 22:08

If you are tired and you are able to take long naps, then I think that's what you should do. I think it will probably sort itself out before too long so maybe just go with it for now and don't worry. :)

RightYesButNo · 27/05/2021 22:15

OP, I think I maybe saw someone mention this, but the problem with melatonin is that it helps him get to sleep, but does not necessarily help him stay asleep. That’s not the drug’s purpose.

It sounds like he could need a different medication and while it seems like he’s full of energy, that constant “go” could be his way of dealing with his exhaustion. I looked it up and apparently a third of sleep drugs prescribed to children are antihistamines (because you know they make you drowsy then keep you asleep). Maybe you could try the antihistamine Piriton (MUST be original Piriton, not Piriteze) with him and see what effect it has on his sleep? Does it keep him down a whole night? Does he wake up too groggy? If it works, then go to your doctor and tell them that you want to try a different type of medication. Caveat: for a small amount of children, antihistamines may cause them to be more awake and very HIGHLY active.

thinkingaboutLangCleg · 27/05/2021 22:17

Sleep well, NotYourAverageDaisy. You deserve all the rest you can get.

WetWeekends · 27/05/2021 22:17

@NotYourAverageDaisy

Thank you - GP seems very insistent that napping in the day will just make things worse for me

He’s talking absolute rubbish. That’s like saying to a shift worker, you’ll feel worse if you sleep in the day!!

Starlightstarbright1 · 27/05/2021 22:20

My ds has asd /adhd.. i didn't realise how awful his sleep was as people with young children talk about lack of sleep. It is only now i reaslise we were on a different level.

My ds sleeps with weighted blanket/ sensory bag and melatonin.

He also listens to pod casts ( a teen ) he says it stops his head been so busy. Would audio books work ?

But as for you sleep when you can .

PurpleWh1teGreen · 27/05/2021 22:22

I think there is an element of putting your own oxygen mask on first here. Of course there are strategies you can try, but not when you are dog tired yourself.

Nap away.

WetWeekends · 27/05/2021 22:23

@Milesbennettdyson

A child of that age being allowed to get out of bed at that time is ridiculous. The first time my child did that they were told in uncertain terms it’s the middle of the night and to go back to bed.

What a helpful comment! Have you actually read the thread? Do you have any experience of children with ASD?

BurbageBrook · 27/05/2021 22:36

GP sounds idiotic and ill-informed. Do what you need to do!

Stichintime · 27/05/2021 22:41

Hi OP, you need to nap if your only getting a few hours at night. I would do the 4 hours and even try a power nap as well if you have time for one complete sleep cycle, which can refresh you without feeling groggy. There's nothing wrong with napping! I think its healthy, in in your case essential. I was wondering roughly what part of the country ( if in UK) you are in? I may be able to offer some pratical help. Hope things improve.

Viviennemary · 27/05/2021 22:50

What time does he go to bed. I agree 2.30 is not a time to get up. He needs to be told its the middle of the night go to bed. I would keep saying Mummy is asleep. I think you need to seek help for your son.

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