Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a 4 hour nap, 3 times a week?

146 replies

NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 19:51

DS is up from 3/4am without fail, every single day. Sometimes as early as 2.30. He's up, he's jumping, he's happy and never seems tired.

No, the drugs don't work. Yes, I've tried bringing his bedtime forward consistently for a week or so. Wakes up same time. No, nobody can get up with him instead.

When he's at nursery I often sleep for 3/4 hours a day. I switch up my diary to suit this.

He starts school in September so I should be getting 5 days a week to nap.

AIBU? The reason I ask is, I phoned GP to ask in desperation if there was a drug to keep me awake that he could prescribe. I described my sleeping to him and he told me off! For sleeping in the day and said that would actually make you more tired.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 20:10

I don't have any trouble falling asleep at night Grin I fall into sleep easily, at the drop of a hat

He is ASD diagnosed since 3

OP posts:
FluffyRabbitGal · 27/05/2021 20:10

I quite agree with you getting rest when you can! I work shifts, including nights which are 19:15-07:45, and by all accounts you’re working similar hours, albeit a slightly longer break!

pigsDOfly · 27/05/2021 20:10

Both those GPs sound like people who've never been deprived of sleep at the hands of a small child.

Yes, it's probably not ideal but what the hell are you supposed to do? You can't get through a day without sleep, surely that would end up making you exhausted.

When I had my babies, many years ago, youngest is mid 30s, the advice was sleep when the baby sleeps and yes, they were talking about new borns, but tiredness is tiredness and broken nights are the same whatever the child's age, if you need to sleep, you need to sleep.

It sounds hard so do whatever works for you.

autumnboys · 27/05/2021 20:11

You nap if you need to. I would need to. Flowers

Milesbennettdyson · 27/05/2021 20:11

A child of that age being allowed to get out of bed at that time is ridiculous. The first time my child did that they were told in uncertain terms it’s the middle of the night and to go back to bed.

SandysMam · 27/05/2021 20:12

Are you sure your GP didn’t misunderstand and think you meant DS was napping for 4 hours in the day? If not, then ask him how the fuck you are meant to survive 3am wake ups every day. I hope the routine of school might help regulate your DS’s patterns. I’m guessing there is more going on here then just a discipline issue. Flowers for you OP, it must be tough.

Beautiful3 · 27/05/2021 20:13

I go to sleep not long after my children, around 9pm. Got to as I can't be wasting my day by taking naps.

DancesWithDaffodils · 27/05/2021 20:15

You absolutely need a decent chunk of sleep, ideally more often than 3 times a week.
I remember (after 18 months) regularly getting 4 hrs straight sleep from DS. It made such a difference.
If the only way to get that is to sleep during the day because of other stuff happening that you cant control, you go for it girl. You will be no use to anyone if you try to survive on the minimal sleep DS is allowing you.

Peace43 · 27/05/2021 20:16

Does he have adhd? My niece and sis do. Both struggle with sleep. Melatonin works but they need to take lots. My niece is on 5mg.

MacCoffee · 27/05/2021 20:16

Firstly don’t ever let a GP tell you as a Mum how to get enough rest/sleep. You do what you need to survive.

Secondly. Google Biphasic sleep. Humans are not designed to sleep 8 hours, work 8 hours, tahr 8 hours off. That designed around no seen life, not what’s good for us and napping, if it helps you until your DS is older and sleeps more, is ideal.

MacCoffee · 27/05/2021 20:16

*designed around modern life that should say

Merryoldgoat · 27/05/2021 20:18

Sleep whenever you need to.

I had a child like that. School actually sorted it all and he sleeps fantastically now.

MrsCrosbyNRTB · 27/05/2021 20:18

@Milesbennettdyson have you actually READ the thread?? You don’t think that maybe the OP has tried this genius tactic?? Hmm

OP you have my sympathies. I have an 8 year old with ADHD. The exhaustion is brutal. You do what you need to do to survive Flowers

HemanOrSheRa · 27/05/2021 20:19

@WhatWouldPhyllisCraneDo

I nap most days and my babies are 16 and 14. Years. Grin

Your doctor is correct, napping in the day isn't helpful long term. But I don't care. I like my naps.

Same here! I love an afternoon nap. Have one most days and have since DS was about 2. He's 16 now. I don't sleep well at night and never have done. Not having a nap makes absolutely no difference to that, I've tried.

Just do what you have to to get through without completely losing your mind, OP. Unless the GP is going to come round and help you at 3am...

Lindylou2703 · 27/05/2021 20:20

That doctor is a tit. You are getting up at a ridiculous time and I feel so bad for you. It must be so hard. Get those naps in!

Lindylou2703 · 27/05/2021 20:22

Do your kids get up at 3am?

Milesbennettdyson · 27/05/2021 20:22

@MrsCrosbyNRTB yes I have. My comment stands. Ridiculous to allow behaviour like that. If you’ve let it get this far invest in a sleep specialist or apply to Supernany!!

dopeyduck · 27/05/2021 20:26

What time does he go to sleep? Do you go to sleep at the same time? How many hours sleep do you get? ( I ask not out of trying to make sleep suggestions for your DC but to see what sleep you do get at night time)

I used to get up for work at 0400 every day.... I didn't nap for 5 hours in the day but I did generally go to sleep at 9pm.

I totally understand sleep deprivation is absolute torture. Sometimes my DS wakes 12 times in the night which is roughly every 40 mins and I haven't had more than 2 hours unbroken sleep for months, it literally makes me batshit crazy.

Is he waking during his sleep as well or do you get a solid sleep?

Trying to work out if you're actually more tired than you should be, medical issue? Or if it's just having DC who is a poor sleeper.

You don't want to miss something medical just because DC doesn't sleep well.

Notaroadrunner · 27/05/2021 20:27

Most definitely factor in that sleep 5 days per week come September. I don't know how you're still sane with the lack of sleep you describe.

Original poster
NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 20:32

@Milesbennettdyson

A child of that age being allowed to get out of bed at that time is ridiculous. The first time my child did that they were told in uncertain terms it’s the middle of the night and to go back to bed.
It doesn't work. He can stay in the bedroom - And cause himself a lot of danger, no matter how safe you make the room. It is very difficult
OP posts:
CommanderBurnham · 27/05/2021 20:34

You poor thing, sleep deprivation is torture. Parenting is about doing what it takes a lot of the time. If sleeping during the day is keeping you sane, stopping you from making mistakes, and being a better mum then go for it. People waste their time doing a lot worse.

I remember the first day that my second child went to school. I came home and slept for 6 hours
It was bliss.

Your body will thank you.

Lazyi · 27/05/2021 20:34

Your diet?? You are shattered because you don’t get enough sleep. All the fruit and veg in the world won’t sort that out. Of course you should nap in the day. Might not be optimal when compared to perfection, but much better than not having a nap. What a load of crap. Good luck. X

annieannietomjoe · 27/05/2021 20:37

@NotYourAverageDaisy

He has been on Melatonin but it hasn't helped at all 😭 I prayed it would save my sanity but it hasn't

Funnily enough he never seems tired at nursery school Hmm just lively all day, every day. Causing havoc and doing my head in from the exhaustion sometimes

I've gotten use to it quite a bit but those long naps when he isn't here are like little kisses from angels above Blush

Sorry it hasn't helped you, maybe worth going back to see if they can up it and if not, then NAP like crazy, having a kid is tough, having an ASD kid is tough (my DS is) but having a ASD kid that doesn't need much sleep...super tough!
TiredoutMum93 · 27/05/2021 20:39

A lot of advice to go through but my cousins daughter was like this for years and they couldn’t work out why tried everything. She had a melatonin deficiency! She now takes a vitamin tablet and she sleeps through. She’s 8. She was running round on 3-5 hours sleep. Ask gp to test for that in your son x

Lachimolala · 27/05/2021 20:39

@Milesbennettdyson OP’s child has ASD and likely not responsive to a parent telling them ‘in uncertain terms’ it’s bedtime. Try and be less rigid in your thinking here.

@NotYourAverageDaisy my middle child is like this, she isn’t ever asleep before 11pm and gets up around 4am. There is usually 2/3 wake ups in this time as well so I’m getting less than 2 hours sleep a night. She also has ASD, things have gotten slightly better now she’s started nursery and melatonin but it’s still a nightmare most nights.

I do similar to you at least 3 days a week I will sleep from 9.30 until 2.30pm just to survive. If that’s what you have to do and you have the time/means then absolutely do so. The GP is talking rubbish.