Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take a 4 hour nap, 3 times a week?

146 replies

NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 19:51

DS is up from 3/4am without fail, every single day. Sometimes as early as 2.30. He's up, he's jumping, he's happy and never seems tired.

No, the drugs don't work. Yes, I've tried bringing his bedtime forward consistently for a week or so. Wakes up same time. No, nobody can get up with him instead.

When he's at nursery I often sleep for 3/4 hours a day. I switch up my diary to suit this.

He starts school in September so I should be getting 5 days a week to nap.

AIBU? The reason I ask is, I phoned GP to ask in desperation if there was a drug to keep me awake that he could prescribe. I described my sleeping to him and he told me off! For sleeping in the day and said that would actually make you more tired.

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 27/05/2021 21:16

Make him bedroom a safe room. Saved my sanity

traumatisednoodle · 27/05/2021 21:17

There is nothing wrong with sleeping in 2 chunks - half of Southern europe do it
www.google.com/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/magazine-16964783.amp

Newmum29 · 27/05/2021 21:17

GP isn’t being an asshole although they could have been more tactful, it’s proven that day sleeps can affect night sleeps. That said it sounds like it’s better than nothing and as you’re still falling asleep easily at night it shouldn’t be a problem. Pretty sure they also class a nap as one-two sleep cycles so max 1 hour and a half but you’re actually having 4 hours which isn’t really a nap at all.

ImprobablePuffin · 27/05/2021 21:19

@Beautiful3

I go to sleep not long after my children, around 9pm. Got to as I can't be wasting my day by taking naps.
Well it's not wasted time if it's doing OP good, is it
Twoforthree · 27/05/2021 21:21

Have you looked at this sort of thing?

www.safespaces.co.uk/

You need to sleep at every opportunity. Take no notice of the doctor

ImprobablePuffin · 27/05/2021 21:22

@Milesbennettdyson

A child of that age being allowed to get out of bed at that time is ridiculous. The first time my child did that they were told in uncertain terms it’s the middle of the night and to go back to bed.
That's right up there with 'we'll just train the autism right out of them' Ignorant fool
Patchyman1 · 27/05/2021 21:23

Weighted blankets have been a game changer for my ADHD son along with melatonin tablets. We got him a new one this week and today he slept til 7am!!!!! First time ever!

ImprobablePuffin · 27/05/2021 21:23

[quote Milesbennettdyson]@MrsCrosbyNRTB yes I have. My comment stands. Ridiculous to allow behaviour like that. If you’ve let it get this far invest in a sleep specialist or apply to Supernany!![/quote]
It's not being 'allowed' you absolute bellend. You really have no clue about non NT kids eh

AntiSocialDistancer · 27/05/2021 21:24

@BoomBoomsCousin

You're basically working a night-shift. Bet your GP doesn't tell someone who gets paid to work a night shift that the shouldn't sleep in the day!
Yup!

You need a referral to the sleep clinic. I would keep making progressively longer appointments about your health till someone listens.

Ideally spend a whole week with no naps and schedule your doctor's visit on the Friday.

Play them a recording of your 4am wake up call. Make sure the volume on your video is nice and loud.

Put it into explicit terms:

"My mental health is suffering, I have occasional suicidal thoughts, I think my hair is falling out, my marriage is under strain." Or whatever your lived experience is.

Keep going all the way until some form of resolution.

Marguerite2000 · 27/05/2021 21:27

Napping/day time sleeps really suit some people. They don't suit other people. If you fall into the first category, then go for it.
My usual nights sleep is 4-6 hours, I just can't stay asleep for any longer than that. Ideally I would love to have a proper afternoon sleep in bed most days but I can't.

Twoforthree · 27/05/2021 21:28

The room option sounds perfect. I’ve seen this type of thing used in special needs schools. It would enable you to sleep knowing he is safe and I think you can apply for funding.

Twoforthree · 27/05/2021 21:28

Sorry that was for the safe space link.

Kotatsu · 27/05/2021 21:29

TAKE THE SLEEP WHERE YOU CAN GET IT.

DS1 is an early riser. Lucky for me, not normally before 5 (he's 10 now, and some days, we make it to 6. but 5:30 is the norm - no matter when he goes to bed, no matter the light levels or time of year. He has an unshakeable internal clock). I'm a single parent. I am generally asleep not long after 10pm even now I can delay waking up a bit.

When he was younger, he very occasionally would do the 2:30 thing. We'd get up and watch TV together (ie. he would play and watch, I would slump on the settee.. he was a reliably conservative kid so if I dropped off it wasn't too bad). I would absolutely take a nap as soon as I could those days.
I think so many doctors (male) don't believe that kids can be this way, because they've never had to deal with the reality of it.

bellsbuss · 27/05/2021 21:29

You need to contact your council and apply for direct payments so you can get overnight care in your home for him or respite.

Bwobbwob · 27/05/2021 21:31

Surely the GP has confused the reason for your lack of sleep. If your napping was keeping you awake at night their advice would make sense. As it is you’re just catching up - nap away!

Wideawakeandconfused · 27/05/2021 21:32

I feel tired just reading your bed time routine! If your body says you need to sleep during the day, listen to it. We’re over the sleep deprivation now but I tell you what, there’s nothing like a blissful afternoon nap.

Also, I second weighted blankets. My DC has one and is falling to sleep in a third of the time. Just check it’s the appropriate weight - I didn’t realise that they should only be 10% of body weight and ended up getting my DC an adult blanket.

lms2017 · 27/05/2021 21:35

Is your son possibly highly sensitive to sugar?

Our son is . He used to wake every hour on the hour wide awake ready to play . In the end I gave up and he came in with me this helped him sleep slightly longer .
However the massive change was the No sugar for a week to test it omg the change was unbelievable , he couldn't have squash, fruit, choc everything he had was sugar free and mainly fish , chicken , veg even for snacks. Milk was the worst sent him nuts.

He is 5 now and he can have sugar now however not before bed and not in big amounts , and sugar free jam , etc instead now he sleeps 8pm till 5-6 which I can just about deal with X

Has your health visitor been spoken to ? To have your son assessed for sleep problems they can really help with things like this x

numberoneson · 27/05/2021 21:35

Your GP's an old-fashioned idiot. Sleep whenever you have the chance: I sleep 2-3 hours most afternoons as my eyes start crossing if I don't, and in fact it's the days when I haven't had that sleep that I find sleeping at night difficult. If it's of any comfort, I was told when my son was a baby (bed at 11pm and up for the day at 5pm, having had a wee play session in between - I was at my wit's end and had tried all the meds the doctor could prescribe to try to get him to sleep more) that unless there is somethig physically wrong with the baby, then lack of sleep equals high IQ! As my son's IQ is 163 I am a firm believer in there being truth in that. (And no, that's not a boast, mines not at all that high! lol)

C8H10N4O2 · 27/05/2021 21:35

GP seems very insistent that napping in the day will just make things worse for me

Find another GP. One who has had non sleeping children or at least takes the problem seriously. Or who can fine you more help with your son's sleeping patterns.

If you had told him you did 5 hours shift work every night between 2-7 would they still complain that you shouldn't be sleeping during the day or that you should change your diet?

Original poster
NotYourAverageDaisy · 27/05/2021 21:36

@Twoforthree

Have you looked at this sort of thing?

www.safespaces.co.uk/

You need to sleep at every opportunity. Take no notice of the doctor

Wow, looks brilliant. It looks like it would save me, I'm going to look into buying one Smile thank you very much x

OP posts:
landofgiants · 27/05/2021 21:36

My boy is an early bird as well, although yours sounds more extreme!

DS also has ASD, though I didn't know when he was younger. What helped for us (well me, really) was once he understood about time, I got him a digital clock and taught him not to get up until 6am. Once DS is awake, he's awake, so if he woke before 6am he could just read book quietly. It took a while for him to get into a routine, but once he did, he slept better for it. He was probably about 5 when it clicked. A PP mentioned GroClock, but DS could read, so I bought a regular one. Now 10, he gets up early to play on the computer, which I know isn't ideal but at least I get to sleep.

Ignore the GP. Sleep when you can. I did a lot of napping when DS was younger. Hopefully things will get better!

eatsleepread · 27/05/2021 21:37

Good for you, I say!
YANBU.

GyozaPoser · 27/05/2021 21:41

Keep napping while you can and look into making his room completely safe or get a safe space bed. It's SO hard.

Kotatsu · 27/05/2021 21:43

Thumbs up Landofgiants - we have the same son!

The trouble of course being training the early riser to get up quietly and not wake the second son, who is more dormouse....

Try everything OP, but don't be disheartened if stuff doesn't work, just re-write the rulebook until you find what works for your family. (I sleep with the kids 3/7 nights a week, on the deal that I don't get disturbed, except for emergencies, the other 4 - so it does get better!)

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 27/05/2021 21:44

Do whatever you have to.

In some circles there is still a feeling that there’s something morally wrong with sleeping during the day, it shows laziness, weakness of character, etc. You hear people saying, ‘Oh, I could never sleep in the afternoon!’ - as if you’d suggested a drunken orgy or something..
Maybe your GP is one of those.