My husband fell off a roof yesterday- broken pelvis

[SmileyClare]

Dh fell from a roof yesterday at work and has terrible injuries. An unstable break in two places to his pelvis and a broken arm. At the moment he's on an orthopaedic ward and can't walk and is in agony.

He's expected to have surgery in a few days on his pelvis. I'm absolutely worried sick about how he'll cope with the recovery (expected 3 months), him not working (self employed builder) and whether he'll ever be the same again.
I don't earn much and, we have teenage children.

I'd love to hear some positive recovery stories from others who have experience of pelvic fractures or just some advice from anyone. I'm sick with worry.

@SmileyClare he should hopefully be offered reablement, which is short term, usually free, care:

www.nhs.uk/conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/care-after-a-hospital-stay/care-after-illness-or-hospital-discharge-reablement/

Oh Christ Gluten I didn't think about a fire! It's a good point to leave dh with some neighbour's phone numbers if he ever has an emergency like falling out of bed when I'm not there. It really turns your life upside down eh?

I hope you get well soon and your family are helping x

Thanks for the link and all your advice. I think if not rehab, then as suggested I'm going to beg on my knees for some caring help at home.
I think I'll have to discuss all this with dh too. Maybe while he's still on morphine as it makes him very chilled out..

Really missing dh, he would be the one I'd offload all my worries on usually thanks for listening to my worries on here anyway.

You don't beg on your knees, you just be firm and clear he can not be discharge without a car package as there won't be anyone at home to look after him. You will be working.

Good luck - sounds like you're doing a great job getting to grips with everything.

Firm and clear, got it! I don't feel like I'm doing a great job getting to grips with things. I'm trying very hard to be positive for dh and reassure the dc but I feel like lying on the floor saying I can't do this.

It's nice to hear though. I think it'll gradually become our new normal.

@SmileyClare how are you all doing?

We're all ok, thanks for asking. Dh came home on Monday and its been quite full on sorting everything out and caring for him so apologies for not updating sooner.

The hospital have allocated at home physio twice a week which is good but could not provide any extra care. The physio is a lovely woman, she wants to aim for him to be walking by Christmas. It feels like a long way away right now but dh very determined.

My youngest is studying for A levels and his college are allowing him two afternoons off a week to help with his dad's care so I can work those days. He's been really good so far!

We are really just getting to grips with juggling everything. I actually went on a free app called Nextdoor and a lovely local lady has loaned us her wheelchair. I've set dh up in the front room on a bed. OT didn't come out but phoned me the day before and told me what I would need to buy; wee bottles, and firm supportive pillows. They weren't too bothered about him being on a sofa bed.

The first day he came home was pretty awful; he was in agony and seemed to be withdrawing from all the hospital morphine- so terrible stomach cramps and diarrhoea on top of all the pain! I felt really out of my depth with it all.

That's now calmed down and he's on strong ibuprofen and codeine if it's bad at night. He's still in a lot of pain, I'm knackered but we're all so glad he's home.

Oh love that's so awful. Your husband should have carers provided by the local authority though. Your a level son shouldn't be taking time off to care for his dad so you can work that is simply unacceptable and they have just passed the buck onto you. I would approach my mp if you don't get anywhere quickly with them.

fucking hell.

they think it is acceptable to get a child to care for him. poor you.

It is quite tough but there doesn't seem to be much more the NHS trust are willing to offer, I expect due to lack of funding. They couldn't provide a wheelchair either. The choices were quite blunt; hire one or buy second hand. I did ask quite forcefully for more assistance but here we are.
Occupational Therapy have given me a number to ring if I need more advice, and we have the physio so not quite left to our own devices.

We will just have to manage and get through this. My main aim is to keep dh's spirits up, so far he's being quite stoical about it all and is watching a lot of tennis.

Might be worth asking your GP for help too. And asking for a carers assessment too.

www.carersuk.org/help-and-advice/practical-support/getting-care-and-support/carers-assessment

Ring OT now
ask them to come round and observe and assess
How he is managing

Make a fuss
Stay polite but your case is as important as any
You will burn out
Get carer assessment
Don't let dc do sole caring
Ask gp fir some counselling
Contact young carers locally

Thanks, all very helpful. I'm on hold to his gp now to get some more painkillers prescribed so will enquire about any other services they can offer.

Ring OT now ask them to come round and observe and assess How he is managing

Won’t the twice weekly physio do that, and order any extra equipment as needed?

You can’t just demand an OT does a home visit, they’re restricted by covid regulations, caseload and capacity. Especially OT on an acute in-patient ward. Contacting your GP for a community OT might be more successful?

OTs can provide essential equipment, offer advice, signpost you to appropriate services.

Adult social care can put a care package in place if you’re not coping eg with his transfers, toileting, hygiene, feeding.

Did he decline inpatient rehab or wasn’t it offered?

My Brother's leg was broken very badly (essentially a car drove into him!) and although he has metal pins, he belongs to a gym and does spinning classes, etc.

I've had loads of pretty nasty accidents and surgeries over the years... I've gone from needing to use a wheelchair when inside then outside house... That's a pain... You see all the wee drops on blokes trousers to walking... Not far but loads better than I was!

It will get better...

Was going to say... If your DH is having loads of breakthrough pain, do request an immediate GP appt.. They'll usually do it by phone if they can see all his hosp records.

Keep a rrcord of what pain meds he's taking.. In the middle of the night it's easy to get confused.

Follow all the physio exercises to the letter...( I actually asked to do more than I was prescribed, as I was impatient to improve, they said it may help It did!).

It can feel like a massive never ending slog.. Progress is often slow... Then speeds up, then slows again... I kept a brief diary... Its really helpful when you cna look back and say, 2 weeks ago I couldn't even stand independently... Now I can stand for 5 minutes... Etc etc...

Get his pals to pop in every day, get them to set up a rota... Probably 20 mins at a time will be enough early on... My pals kept me going!

Please do keep asking if you need help with his care... You've got to look after your own health!

Good luck!

Yes community OT should assess in home
Was it hospital or community OT you haVe number of?
Did they refer to community ot ?

I just came back to see how you're getting on, SmileyClare. I'm glad that your DH is now home and recovering from his surgery. I do feel for you. It is so stressful trying to fight your corner and stand firm in the face of NHS bureaucracy and/or lack of resources. I found it helped to focus on the "breakthrough" moments - like chancing upon someone who knew a place where we could hire medical aids very cheaply or the phone call with a different OT who I could just tell would go the extra mile for us - as it made me realise that the right help is out there if you keep looking.

And if you've got a good physio it will make all the difference. My mum was initially terrified of moving and of the pain it might cause but the physio gave her such confidence in her ability and she came to live for those visits. If your DH is determined to make the most of those sessions, that's half the battle.

Also, when he feels up to it, it might be a good idea to have a regular supply of visitors. Not loads of people all at once but one person at a time who's happy to sit and have a chat for a hour. People that make him laugh (I appreciate that might be a bit painful initially) especially recommended! My mum was very reticent about this and refused to see anyone because "I don't want anyone to see me like this" but once we invited someone without asking her persuaded her otherwise it really boosted her mood and gave her something else to talk about and focus on.

Finally, lots of for you! The caring part is damned hard work - be proud of everything you're doing and everything you've done so far!

You asked if the Physio couldn't do what you might want from an Occupational Therapist. There is some overlap, but the short answer is No.

My understanding is that a physio will help his mobility: his movement, strength, balance, walking: the OT will address how he copes with daily living. Things like the best bed, grab rails in bathroom and kitchen, best chair, etc, once he's up. The OT will look at his living space and what adaptations he needs as he is "occupying " himself and going about daily tasks. from the very beginning.

Insist if you have to ,spell out the fact that you are not trained to assess his needs, and to know what will help to address them ,they are.

As an example: my local Community OT assessed the need for an extra bannister on the wall side of the stairs, an over bath seat, and an entry phone system to assist with ease of answering the door when mobility was hampered.

Insisting can feel challenging, but it is so worth it and all the folk who helped us were lovely.

omg my husband was in the exact same situation, im so sorry to hear about yours. my hubby could not sleep for months on end. if your husband is still struggling I suggest getting him a latex type of mattress that really helped mine. you should really try winstons beds or vi spring. we have both and they are fab. vi spring a little on the expensive side though haha. also try using a hot water bottle that also really helped my husband.!!!
the mattress we purchased was the following -

winstonsbeds.com/products/mattresses/king-size-mattresses/

Hope is he doing @SmileyClare ? I hope all is going well. How are you holding up?

I don't have any advice about the pelvic injury but I was struck by you saying that DH loves his work and you were concerned that at the age of 52 he might not get back to it. I just wanted to let you know about my lovely Papa. He was a roofer and was still cutting about on building sites doing his job until he was 80. When your DH is better let him know he's just a spring chicken, only half way through his career Best of luck to you all x

My friend broke his pelvis, back and more in a riding accident 30 years ago. He was in a bad way for several months but made a good recovery and has ridden a LOT of horses since then. He’s nearly 70 now and very active though I think his past is catching up with him a bit. I’m sure he’s broken allllll the bones at some point…

@SmileyClare - how are things with your DH's recovery now that he's been at home for a few weeks? I hope you're getting the support you need from the official teams and that your managing ok.

Wow, I was I was really impressed with OP’s resilience. Hope her DH is recovering and things go well for them.

Crazy that a moment’s wrong choice can have such bad ramifications, but I think her DH is very lucky to have her.