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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My husband fell off a roof yesterday- broken pelvis

239 replies

SmileyClare · 25/05/2021 21:17

Dh fell from a roof yesterday at work and has terrible injuries. An unstable break in two places to his pelvis and a broken arm. At the moment he's on an orthopaedic ward and can't walk and is in agony.

He's expected to have surgery in a few days on his pelvis. I'm absolutely worried sick about how he'll cope with the recovery (expected 3 months), him not working (self employed builder) and whether he'll ever be the same again.
I don't earn much and, we have teenage children.

I'd love to hear some positive recovery stories from others who have experience of pelvic fractures or just some advice from anyone. I'm sick with worry.

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/05/2021 19:01

By adaptations I mean things like grab handles and seat in shower cubicle, perching stool so he can sit up at sink rather than stand, bench seat over bath so he can wash with over bath shower/tap extension. OT should visit to see what set up you have and risk assess. Any chairs need to be at an appropriate height, with raisers or extra cushions if needs be. Also extra hand rail on stairs, trolley for kitchen and so on. You would not need everything at once and can be added/removed as he progresses.

dinpips · 31/05/2021 19:25

@LIZS the OT will only provide a hospital bed if the OP's DH needs a hospital bed. She can "push back" all she likes but if her DH can manage with a standard bed (my need raising, may need a bed lever) then she won't get a hospital bed. I say this as an OT.

Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 19:29

All that equipment sounds really useful. Anything to make it easier to wrestle a 6ft lump of a man around will do for me. Don't worry, I wasn't expecting the NHS to install a luxury wet room or anything Wink

I think I'll be reassured when the therapists come out and advise me. I feel like the most unprepared carer for a disabled person ever, argh.
Sorry for stressing.

OP posts:
Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 19:33

Yeah I'm trying to be realistic. I understand hospital trusts are cash strapped. I'd rather know asap so I can try to source a bed second hand. I'm planning to ring the hospital tomorrow with all my worries.

Like someone else mentioned, I think the care and equipment provided varies from trust to trust.

OP posts:
Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 19:35

@dinpips Do you think a pull out sofa bed would suffice, if I bought a thick mattress to make it a bit higher and more supportive?

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/05/2021 19:41

@dinpips what if there is no suitable bed available though? If he cannot manage stairs and needs to sleep downstairs? I would have thought a sofa bed would be too low, at least ours would have been. Alternative is that he has a rehab bed until he can manage stairs at home.

Turmerictolly · 31/05/2021 19:51

Social Services will assess him in conjunction with Occupational therapists/physio's etc. They'll provide all of the equipment and care support if needed.

Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 20:01

Right ok, that sounds a bit more reassuring. I'll try not to worry too much about potential problems just yet. I think I've aged about ten years in a week!

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/05/2021 20:05

@Turmerictolly

Social Services will assess him in conjunction with Occupational therapists/physio's etc. They'll provide all of the equipment and care support if needed.
Our local provider is run as a contract from NHS - mobility equipment, rehab unit, care on discharge, community based and out patient therapy services - but it may vary from one area to another.
Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 20:09

If you turn up at my door LIZS I'll be delighted! Grin That sounds like fantastic care.

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/05/2021 20:17

Not providing it, dh was/is on the receiving end, although not for an injury like your dh has. I had to resist dh discharge from rehab until he could manage stairs and OT would provide equipment and support. It has not been that smooth transitioning from one team to another, with gaps between and he could have done with more physio input, but overall has exceeded our expectations, and what others had reported.

LIZS · 31/05/2021 20:21

And my ndn used to do home assessments for ss so was able to give me a heads up as to what equipment might be available.

Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 20:25

Ah you won't be turning up then LIZS haha. I appreciate you giving me the benefit of your experience though. I'm starting to realise I will probably have to push to get things in place for him at home.

OP posts:
Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 20:36

Also I'm sorry you've been through a similar experience with your husband. I hope he's ok.

OP posts:
LIZS · 31/05/2021 20:40

Thank you, it is a slow recovery. Wishing you and your dh well Thanks

Comefromaway · 31/05/2021 20:45

@SmileyClare

He must have personal injury insurance? I'm pretty sure hes not allowed on site as a contractor without it.

I'll ask him about it. He does all the paperwork for his work and he has an accountant for his books. I really appreciate the advice. I'm still reeling I think and struggling to think practically.

I vet sub-contractors and personal injury insurance is not a requirement. Just public liability, employers liability if he employs anyone and possibly professional indemnity depending on whether he works to others instruction or does design etc.
dinpips · 31/05/2021 20:55

[quote LIZS]@dinpips what if there is no suitable bed available though? If he cannot manage stairs and needs to sleep downstairs? I would have thought a sofa bed would be too low, at least ours would have been. Alternative is that he has a rehab bed until he can manage stairs at home. [/quote]
In my trust a hospital bed is only given if a hospital bed is needed. The family are expected to sort of a standard bed to be brought downstairs if that is what is required. A second hand single bed can be sourced for not much money at all. A hospital bed costs hundreds of pounds. It's not a substitute for a normal bed, is a specialist piece of kit that's given to people who require the functions that it has. TBH is quite rare that I would struggle to get a family member to sort out a bed. Chairs on the other hand are a minefield.

Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 21:11

dinpips If I have some notice, I should be able to buy a mattress for our sofa bed or find a second hand bed and someone with a van.

As long as I get at least a few days notice and some advice from the occupational therapists I think it'll be manageable, although not as nice as his snazzy bed with remote controls that he has in hospital!

Comefromaway we do have something called Personal accident cover for self employed. There is a question mark at the moment about the claim as it may fall under "recklessness" or negligence. I mean I don't think he was being reckless but we're waiting to hear. I know building sites are very tight on health and safety guidelines being met and RAMS. (Risk assessments) I'm not an expert in this area though.

OP posts:
SecretNutellaFix · 31/05/2021 21:37

Hi, I've just seen this. Sorry for all the stress you're going through- I have recently been through something similar with my DH. I'm glad yours has come through his op partly mended, at least.
My DH was in hospital with COVID, before Xmas and it was the day before we were going to ask if he could come home in time for Xmas when he decided to go to the loo. He fell on the ward, in full view of all the medical staff and broke his hip. He was pinned together the next day, but because it was Xmas and he had already developed medical complications from the COVID, services were indeed a lot slower than it will be now, for you.
Mine ended up spending a total of 31 days in hospital, 22 because of the hip. He wasn't allowed home until we had a mobile commode, which in the end was appropriated from the hospital instead of the delivery company and we had grab rails fitted downstairs in the loo. It was a few weeks later that we had grab rails fitted in the shower, because he was finally allowed to fully weight bear and have regular physio at home from the middle of March. In the last ten weeks he has gone from not weight bearing to being able to manage around the house with minimal crutch support downstairs, and he's sleeping upstairs again. The physio was instrumental in just giving him the techniques and confidence to progress, he's done all the work and I am proud of him.

We ended up buying a single bed to have downstairs for the living room- we bought a frame and fairly firm ordinary mattress from
Argos. The total height of That's going to be moved back upstairs in the next couple of weeks as he needs less and less time resting and he's begun to work from home as he can now sit in a chair for a few hours at a time. We'll look to getting him back to his workplace within the next few months, as the COVID situation changes. He's feeling strong enough and confident enough to want to try driving in the next couple of weeks.

I'm going to be honest and say it has been the hardest fucking 6 months of my life. Not only physically, because you are having to do more yourself around the house, yourself; but mentally. You end up trying to mentally strong for everyone around you and it's very much a case of "I'll sort me when..."
Don't be afraid to ask for help and support, even if it's just a shoulder to cry on while they pass you tissue after tissue. There will be a lot of emotional moments, from everyone.

TwinkleToeMatilda · 31/05/2021 21:44

My partner broke his spine, arm, wrist and leg in a terrible quad bike accident. Took about 4/5 months from point of accident to being able to get up and do normal things. He did however get out of hospital 12 days after the accident and had to prove he could go toilet/ walk stairs alone to be released. He was determined!!!! It’s amazing how the body heals, keep positive it will be fine.

JustAnotherOldMan · 31/05/2021 22:02

When my Mum fractured her pelvis, the OT arranged for everything apart from the bed, I had to bring one down so Mum could sleep downstairs for a while.
When my Dad came home to die the palliative care team arranged for everything including a powered bed, and daily nursing visits for the syringe driver.

Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 22:08

Thank you I'm so sorry you've both endured similar nightmares. Flowers..You've come out the other end with fairly recovered husbands which is good to hear, and your sanity intact. (I hope)

I feel like I took our life and health for granted before this happened. Never did I think we'd be here. It does feel very daunting and I know exactly what you mean. I'm trying hard to be strong and be the upbeat one. It's exhausting already.

It's a comfort to know others have been in the same awful shit boat. Thank you. X

OP posts:
Original poster
SmileyClare · 31/05/2021 22:13

JustAnother yeah I think I'll have to sort the bed out myself. I have 2 teen boys with a single bed each upstairs and our double bed upstairs which is very old and bit saggy Blush
I think I'll speak to OT if I can and then start looking at buying a bed if that's what they advise.

OP posts:
JustAnotherOldMan · 31/05/2021 22:26

Buy a new double bed for yourselves, get your teens to bring the saggy one downstairs and when your husband can make the stairs, Chuck out the saggy one

SecretNutellaFix · 31/05/2021 22:35

Just realised my post had a bit of a glitch in the middle.

The bed and mattress we ended up buying had a total height to the top of the mattress of 55cm. Have a word with the OT when they're looking to send him home and see what height they recommend- ours was happy with that total height- it was about the same as the chair seat height in hospital, so he wasn't having to slide off the mattress to stand, nor was he having to push off too strongly to get upright.

As for sane? I'm definitely not that and I didn't have to worry about dealing with children either.Smile You can do this, you will do this but please ask for whatever support is available. We had a fair amount of input from a local service usually geared towards the elderly patients who need to get back home, I'm not sure of your local council has one?