My husband fell off a roof yesterday- broken pelvis

[SmileyClare]

Dh fell from a roof yesterday at work and has terrible injuries. An unstable break in two places to his pelvis and a broken arm. At the moment he's on an orthopaedic ward and can't walk and is in agony.

He's expected to have surgery in a few days on his pelvis. I'm absolutely worried sick about how he'll cope with the recovery (expected 3 months), him not working (self employed builder) and whether he'll ever be the same again.
I don't earn much and, we have teenage children.

I'd love to hear some positive recovery stories from others who have experience of pelvic fractures or just some advice from anyone. I'm sick with worry.

OP, he did! And you know what, he came back better from it! He can even joke about it now (me not so much...). So please try not to let your mind skip too far. Focus on tonight and please have faith. Am sure you are tough, you’re a mum after all.

Thanks, actually feel slightly better for sobbing into my pillow for five minutes! You're right it's very overwhelming at the moment. We've got no choice to get through this. Hopefully we'll joke about this one day.

I know of someone (a colleague) who broke their pelvis in several places, tripping over a wall when they were drunk. She was bed bound for a while, but she is completely back to her normal self now with no ill effects and does a busy job in the operating theatres in a large hospital so is on her feet and active all day.

The positive stories are very inspiring. I had got in a bit of a state looking at "complications of pelvic surgery" online.

Also, should add that colleague is late 40’s so not dissimilar in age to your DP.

If he’s usually busy, active and fit, that will make his recovery so much better.

My husband broke his pelvis in 6 places in a car crash. He was v lucky to get out alive- his was a stable fracture and he was in for 10 days. We were given rails to put on his side of bed which helped him get up in the am- he mainly sat in a chair and watched tv and used a Walker. After a few weeks he could walk with help and we found it easier to hire a wheelchair from the Red Cross (v cheap) so he could at least get out of the house for a while- like going to the shops etc. He went back to work after about 3 months on desk duties but by around 5/6 months he could manage a full days work.He had a fair bit of physio too. He recovered fully- I know there’s a lot to take in but you will get through it and he will get better. See if he has any accident/illness cover. I’m pretty sure he’ll be eligible for some benefits etc too. Xx

If he isnt covered by any insurances you can claim Universal credit as a family. If you arent earning much and he has no income its an easy benefit to claim as it is all online. He will need to submit fit notes and your earnings will be used to calculate the award .
Make your claim here

Oh, that sounds awful. My DM (then in her early 70s) fell down a flight of stairs and broke her pelvis and wrist. Hospital discharged her from A&E within a few hours . The ambulance brought her home, paramedics carried her upstairs in a chair and put her to bed in the spare room. And that was it! We were left to cope alone. Me and DF barely had time to catch our breath before we realised what a massive cock-up had been made. We had no special equipment, no clue how or if to move her, no pain relief and no idea who to call to ask about all that stuff. So, based on our very steep learning curve, I'd say you initially will need:

1. Bed downstairs
2. Commode
3. Slipper bedpan (and urinal bottle for your DH)
4. Some kind of mattress topper to ease pain and prevent pressure sores (although if he's having surgery you might be provided with something more specialised)
5. Emotional support from family, friends
6. Practical support from anyone who'll give it - maybe make a rota at home so the teenagers can help out with cleaning, cooking etc.
7. NHS contact numbers - eg who to contact if he's struggling with pain relief, who to call to chase up physio, etc etc.

My DM recovered well. It did take a few months before she was completely back to normal. After about a week, the lovely physio arrived and that made a massive difference. Up until that point we thought DM would never get downstairs again! And when she was more mobile, she had hydrotherapy, which really helped with her recovery.

Thank you I hope he'll cope as your husband did at home with some walking aids, rails etc. I'm hoping to be able to leave him for a few hours each day as I'm a self employed cleaner and don't want to lose all my clients. Hopefully the hospital can advise nearer the time.

We'll see I suppose. You've all made me feel a bit more optimistic anyway.

Really great practical advice Cushions I'm sorry you had to figure all that out for yourselves looking after your poor mum.

I will also look into universal credit and the earning threshold for that.

They're terrible injuries but thank God he wasn't more badly hurt or killed. I know it'll be tough OP but you'll get through this. Wishing you the best of luck.

Ah, it was OK, we got through it. And I'm sure you will too. It does feel overwhelming but take it slowly, hour by hour, and it gradually becomes your new normal. We had a lot of comedy moments too. Like after the paramedics had buggered off and me, DF and DP were all crammed into the spare room and DM said, "I need a wee." The three of us eventually managed to lift her onto a wicker chair and just put a bucket underneath it! It was probably the shock but we laughed like loons!

It probably doesn’t seem like it but it could have been a lot worse, it actually sounds like he’s been pretty lucky. And don’t worry about him not returning to work, there are loads of jobs in construction that don’t require physical site work, maybe it will mean a slight change of direction for him but it doesn’t mean he’ll be jobless and depressed.

Yes it could have been much worse you're right. It all feels like a horrible nightmare but I at least have some practical things to look at now with his insurance and benefits we might get. I will try to take things one day at a time for now.

You've all been so sensible and kind. It's really helped hearing other's experiences.

@SmileyClare

The links are useful thank you. I'm looking at Self employed sick pay which he should be entitled to if I can get unfit for work certificates from the hospital.

You've all been very kind. It's good to hear about full recoveries of family and friends, some awful accidents on this thread

If he has paid sufficient NI contributions over the relevant years (2018-19 and 2019-20 tax years) he will be able to claim New style ( contributions based ESA ). This can be easily claimed online via the GOV.Uk website. Depending on your earnings and because you have dependent children it is likely you can also claim Universal credit as long as you don't already get child tax credits and assuming you do not have savings over 16k. It will depend on your earnings though. Wishing your dh a speedy recovery.

So sorry to hear what you are going through. My relative had a car crash and when they said it would take several months I was still in shock and thought how will we manage to get through this? But in reality, although the first few days of taking stock and trying to find out the extent of the difficulties and the waves of worry were hard, each day is a step towards recovery.
the things you are coping with in say 2- 3 weeks time will be less of an issue than it may look like from this end of the tunnel. You will both adapt and get through it. Try to take each day one step at a time. Plod you way through it methodically and you will get to a better place sooner than you think. Just keep going and doing what you can and remember to take good care of yourself too. Wishing you all the best.

My mum broke her hip after being run over by a hit and run driver. She had it pinned and plated but she struggled with the pain afterwards and she was left with a significant limp.
The council arranged for bars to be fitted at the front and back door, a commode, a high toilet seat and a sitting stool for the kitchen, she also had a carer come twice a day for six weeks to help her shower and get dressed.
In the end she had a hip replacement about 2 years after the accident and it gave her a new lease of life and she’s much more ‘normal’ but it was a slog to get there.
She was 59 when it happened and she never returned to work, She’s now 64.

So sorry to hear this OP, hope your DH has a good recovery. You say you are a self employed cleaner, have you thought about setting yourself up in a cleaning business? Maybe your teenagers could help out with this so that you can work together as a family in building something that your husband can help out with once he has recovered. sending positive thoughts.

Pretty much every episode of 24 hours in A&E has someone who fell off a roof. They all seem to be varying degrees of OK in the follow up.

Crossing my fingers for you.

My mum fell and broke her pelvis just before Christmas. No surgery but 5 weeks in hospital and then a couple of weeks care at home, she’s walking with one stick and driving again, doing all her usual household tasks and a bit of gardening. She’s 87
Tough and determined old bird ( also recovered from falling off a ladder and breaking her back when she was 67)
I hope your DH is equally stubborn and determined and recovers well.

I second contacting the Lighthouse Club to get help . I managed to get a grant for training from them when I lost my job. They need lots of info - bank statements etc - and looked at them very carefully, but came good for me. He will need to prove he's been in construction for a good few years, but they are quite realistic about how you prove it. Good luck.

I should add that the Lighthouse Club are also interested in helping you mentally at a time like this.

If it helps I was working part time too so I would get him breakfast in am then leave for an hour or so then come back and help him wash etc do lunch then was out again for few hours in after- I had children that coukd also lend a hand but I was absolutely knackered and it was a hard slog but you will get through it.just may need to adapt and let certain things lapse for the time being.good luck

Thank you. I 've been in bits really but I'm feeling slightly more optimistic today. We will just have to cope and fit our lives around his recovery.
Still feeling quite overwhelmed but trying to hold onto the fact that he will get better, it's just going to take a long time.

I hope to fit some work around caring for him because the benefits we will be entitled to look very difficult to live on. I'm glad you coped Molly and have come out the other side!

I will look at The Lighthouse club it sounds like a brilliant organisation for construction workers.

I'm going to visit him tomorrow, although he sounded very drugged up when I spoke to him on the phone this evening. Unfortunately the hospital he's been moved to is an hour and a half away.

Thanks again for your kind wishes.