My husband fell off a roof yesterday- broken pelvis

[SmileyClare]

Dh fell from a roof yesterday at work and has terrible injuries. An unstable break in two places to his pelvis and a broken arm. At the moment he's on an orthopaedic ward and can't walk and is in agony.

He's expected to have surgery in a few days on his pelvis. I'm absolutely worried sick about how he'll cope with the recovery (expected 3 months), him not working (self employed builder) and whether he'll ever be the same again.
I don't earn much and, we have teenage children.

I'd love to hear some positive recovery stories from others who have experience of pelvic fractures or just some advice from anyone. I'm sick with worry.

That's useful to know. Our sofa bed is 45cm but I reckon if I get a decent mistress it'll bring the height of the bed up to 55cm.
I'm going to check with OT before buying it as money's going to be quite tight. That would save us paying for a whole new bed anyway.

I meant "mattress not mistress!

@SmileyClare

That's really helpful. Although he's 52 he is fairly fit, not overweight but he's a big tall lump. I am a bit worried about being able to manhandle him in and out of bed as I'm much smaller. It's slightly more difficult as he has a right distal radial break to his arm so that makes taking weight on his arms difficult.

The OT I spoke to briefly definitely said I have to organise a bed for him downstairs with a supportive mattress although they will provide other aids to help him, a chair or commode I think? I will speak to them again to clarify this. I'm a bit all over the place with all the information.

Be firm and request a hospital bed with an overhead grab pole and anything else that whelp him to move and transfer. Do not buy a bed that may well not suit his needs! The Red Cross have equipment, check out what’s available. They do charge but it’s reasonable from what I remember.

Push back to OT to say they need to organise any bed and equipment needs or arrange rehab until he can manage independently at home. If you start buying or hiring items in they will absolve themselves of responsibility and it will soon become very expensive

This ^ And the appropriate pressure relieving mattress can be supplied.

Perhaps a mistress would help with the lifting though.... Worth thinking about

It's not my usual M.O but I'm going to try to be firm and assertive about equipment we need.

I'm sure dh would be happy if I lay a mistress on the sofa bed for him . She can empty the commode for me.

@SmileyClare yes just talk to the OT. They will able to tell you what height it needs to be, if he is getting a pressure mattress etc. Then you can sort out a bed that accommodates that. They should hopefully be supportive and helpful as they of course want your DH to have a successful discharge.

@YanTanTethera123 no, the OP doesn't need to demand a hospital bed with an overhead lifting pole. She needs the professionals to get on with their assessment and make their recommendations. Which is highly unlikely to be an overhead lifting pole.

@SmileyClare

I've been up since 5 today just worrying about dh's operation today. They're supposed to be bolting and screwing him back together. Just have waves of dread thinking about what might go wrong.

I'm also worried about the practicalities when he comes home. Our downstairs is quite tiny with just a downstairs loo that dh built by converting a large cupboard. How will he wash? A bucket of soapy water? We have a paddling pool that would fit in the kitchen

How did other people cope? Any replies gratefully received.

Re washing, bowl of water and strip wash, he’ll obviously need help at first and for washing his legs and feet. I managed like this for 12 weeks. Help to wash his hair at the kitchen sink in time but for now dry shampoo or cut it short and use a flannel.

@YanTanTethera123 no, the OP doesn't need to demand a hospital bed with an overhead lifting pole. She needs the professionals to get on with their assessment and make their recommendations. Which is highly unlikely to be an overhead lifting pole
Where did I say demand?

Pelvic fractures require appropriate mattresses if the patient isn’t to end up with unnecessary pain and problems. I spent years managing Intermediate Care services so I think I probably know what is needed 🙂

Hope your DH's operation went well yesterday @SmileyClare.

His operation went ok thank you. They pinned the worst fracture and he seems fine just in pain!

Had an awful day yesterday. I phoned OT twice and was told they'd call me but nothing, did an end of tenancy clean, came home to the news that our landlord won't be able to build a ramp to our front step. All a bit frustrating.

Dh is having an Op on his broken arm today. After having no luck getting through to Occupational Therapy, I rang the ward. The nurse said it's very likely dh will come home tomorrow afternoon if he can stand with a walker! Gulp. Spent all evening re arranging the front room with my sons, borrowed a double mattress and just generally panicked.

I plucked up the courage to ring one of dh's work mates and they are all going to come and build a ramp for him tomorrow. It's so lovely of them I could weep.

Got a big cleaning job today and then I'm going to drive to the hospital to find out more so apologies if I don't post much else today.

I'm very grateful for all the support on here. It's really helped me stay sane and the practical tips are so helpful. Thank you.

YanTan Do you think a fairly firm normal mattress will do? Or should I think about getting a memory foam one or some sort of mattress topper? The bed is 55 cm high off the ground so almost level with a chair.
It's dawning on me that the hospital don't offer much in terms of equipment.

Seriously??? They cannot discharge a patient if they are so soon after serious surgery like operating on a pelvis. I think you still have time @SmileyClare to get the Occupational Therapy team involved and to get your home assessed before he comes home.
Please don't feel that you have to have him home if the surroundings are not suitable for him.
Kick up stink if you need to .

Even doing a quick check on good old Google says that the average stay in hospital for a pelvic fracture was 30 days (for women) and 39 days (for men). I think you still have a bit of time to get things sorted before his discharge from hospital to you. I think that nurse was very very ambitious of your husband's recovery and shouldn't have advised you of such a short stay. Maybe she meant that he would be moved from the post-surgery ward to another ward within 2 days to allow some recovery and therapy to take place.
He's going to have to learn how to walk again as the hip joints are in the pelvis and how much weight he can bear.
It's not a fast recovery by my understanding.

The median length of hospital stay in our study was 30 days for women and 39 days for men, with an overall range of 5 to 170 days

Ask for a home visit from Ot and physio
They should be coming to your home to see in situ and advise

Thanks. OT did finally get in touch so I'm a little more reassured. She is happy with the bed I've got downstairs at least. I drove up to the hospital, it looks like he has a week more in hospital (thank goodness) so I was given incorrect information on the phone! It feels like they're quite keen to free up his bed.

He needs some sort of care package in place . Although I've been put down as providing all care at home, I'm keen for him to have some physio.

Absolutely shattered today but really appreciate all the knowledge and advice on here.

the OP doesn't need to demand a hospital bed with an overhead lifting pole. She needs the professionals to get on with their assessment and make their recommendations. Which is highly unlikely to be an overhead lifting pole

It’s very difficult to get a hospital bed. The OT or Physio has to make a strong case to equipment stores re why the bed is essential. It’s hours of paperwork and often turned down unless the patient is end of life, or so ill they can’t move and need a pressure mattress and bed that moves up and down so the carers backs don’t get injured.

If the patient is mobile with a walking frame and can walk a few steps from bed to commode, with assistance, it’s very unlikely a hospital bed request would be accepted.

Hospital profiling beds cost thousands and need special assembly, plus disassembly and removal when nolonger essential.

Hopefully your husband will get intensive rehab at home (OT and Physio) plus a package of care. They can order any equipment needed as he improves eg a shower seat and toilet frame. But hospital normally only prescribe equipment that’s essential for discharge.

Be vary careful about being "put down for all care at home"
That is a huge amount of work, and if you are not trained in manual handling, you may well have serious ill effects, and possibly won't even be able to do what is needed.

I had this with my Mum, after multiple strokes, she was completely paralysed on one side, I was left, aged 25 to become her full time carer, despite having a full time job.
She weighted 20 stone so there was no way I could lift her.
Hospital dumped her back at her (totally not suitable) home, despite me telling them multiple times I would not be able to provide care at all.

I had to physically withdraw from her care, and refuse to do anything at all (horrific) for several days, before adult social care/hospital/GP finally stepped in.

I agree. Tell Dh, in NO uncertain terms, not to agree to, nor volunteer you, for anything without your prior agreement.

"Yeah yeah nurse, don't worry you can sign all my paperwork, my wife will look after me at home........"

DH covered once for a teacher who'd broken his pelvis in two places ski-ing in the Feb half term. Poor guy came home and had to lie still and flat all day. His wife worked full-time and used to leave him with a flask of soup and a bottle to pee in. I think he came back to work 100% in the following September.

Slow and steady is the theme for these things, it seems. If he isn't a patient man, he'll learn to be. I think your two DSs will be crucial in keeping his spirits up, bringing him news of their adventures and making him laugh.

You will get through this.

Yep, definitely DO NOT volunteer to do all care! It sounds heartless and awful, but if you do you'll get very little help at all and you WILL need it.

Washing - strip wash with a bowl of water and a cloth. You can also buy wet wipes designed for bed baths on Amazon, they are much much more effective than baby wipes or toilet wipes, and you can heat them up if you like in a bowl of hot water (don't open the pack, just drop the whole pack in hot water), or some are designed to be microwaved to heat.

You can also get no-water foam that you rub on with hands, rub off with a towel (you mustn't let it dry so do small patches rather than big areas) - I found this stuff surprisingly good!

Ask for help from DN and OT, they are out there but you'll really need to ask and insist you need help.

Bed-wise, a medium firm pocket sprung mattress should be fine, you may want a slide sheet to help him roll over, but hold off on memory foam until he's home and tried stuff out - whilst it is supportive, it also may make him sink into the bed too far and then find it much harder to move himself!

If he does need more support, OT/DN can sort out a ROHO mattress cushion which sits on top of the mattress under the sheet - it's inflateable and very supportive (I have a ROHO cushion on my wheelchair and sit on a single mattress section on my sofa!)

Lots of equipment can be hired rather than bought too, if you feel you need something but OT/DN can't supply it.

And don't be surprised when random items get delivered by couriers - thats pretty normal, and then some weeks later someone might show up to fit it or explain its use! You get used to this!

OP. I’ve just popped on to see how things are going. I hope your husband is doing ok.

I think there is a lot of well meaning advice on here but as a result a lot that may make you presume the worst in terms of what your husband might need once home. The likelihood is that all will be manageable with the right (and probably straight forward) equipment and ultimately you will both come out the other side of this. I would really advise that you continue to discuss your husbands needs with the OT team- I promise you- they will have completed their assessments and won’t be witholding information, equipment or care if it’s needed. Once home the local community team is your friend so don’t be afraid to ask questions- the hospital OT can make sure you know the relevant team to contact if you wish to speak to someone beforehand. When I worked in the community I would have been more than happy to speak to a worried relative prior to a patients discharge to let them know what to expect once home.

I hope you get a good OT . My mums has been great . Very knowledgeable and sorting chairs and aids etc . They should get equipment on loan if necessary .

Fingers crossed for you .

@Oblomov21

I agree. Tell Dh, in NO uncertain terms, not to agree to, nor volunteer you, for anything without your prior agreement.

"Yeah yeah nurse, don't worry you can sign all my paperwork, my wife will look after me at home........"

This is something he would say! He's desperate to get out of there. He is worried how I'll cope but to be honest I really want him home too

Thank you for all your lovely supportive messages and really useful practical tips. I'm trying not to panic about the challenges ahead, we've just got to be through this (hopefully with our marriage intact!) His friends are all wanting to see him when he gets home. I really hope they'll continue to support him. I think it's going to be important he stays positive and keeps his chin up.

I've taken on a lot more work just while he's in hospital so apologies if I haven't replied earlier. Thanks to everyone for your posts. It's helping to keep me sane (ish)

The insurance company have gone through the claim with dh on the phone. One of the questions was Did he jump off the building on purpose? Ffs. Dh found that funny but that may be partly due to the morphine he's on.