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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My husband fell off a roof yesterday- broken pelvis

239 replies

SmileyClare · 25/05/2021 21:17

Dh fell from a roof yesterday at work and has terrible injuries. An unstable break in two places to his pelvis and a broken arm. At the moment he's on an orthopaedic ward and can't walk and is in agony.

He's expected to have surgery in a few days on his pelvis. I'm absolutely worried sick about how he'll cope with the recovery (expected 3 months), him not working (self employed builder) and whether he'll ever be the same again.
I don't earn much and, we have teenage children.

I'd love to hear some positive recovery stories from others who have experience of pelvic fractures or just some advice from anyone. I'm sick with worry.

OP posts:

NewlyGranny · 04/06/2021 10:48

OP, do make sure the hospital understands that you are now the sole breadwinner and working all hours, as that will affect the care package they recommend for poor DH! Don't just say it once; say it every time you go to visit to everyone who will listen, or you'll find yourself between a rock and a hard place.

Say it loudly and clearly, especially if DH is so keen to get home that he's likely to tell everyone you'll be there to care for him when you actually can't be.

His usual active, outdoor life and general fitness should help him heal quickly - I do hope so.

Original poster

SmileyClare · 04/06/2021 11:19

Thank you NewlyGranny. One advantage of me being a self employed cleaner is that I can fit jobs in if and when I can. I have taken on some end of tenancy cleans while he's in hospital because they pay well. I don't usually do so many because they're bloody exhausting horrible jobs!

I have a four regulars who have a few hours a week each so I'm hoping that's doable.

I appreciate the benefit of your knowledge. This is all new to me, it's hard to know what to expect when he comes home.

I think I'm just going to have to work things out as we go. I've no idea how difficult pushing his wheelchair will be on our carpets.
This is the wheelchair/commode we have been given, it's quite heavy duty!

Your kind words help. I swing from thinking we'll be fine to waking up in the night panicking about what's ahead.

My husband fell off a roof yesterday- broken pelvis

OP posts:

Original poster

SmileyClare · 04/06/2021 11:43

Just to add, you're right I should push for some extra help at home if that's something they provide. Particularly in the first weeks so I don't have to leave him for 3 or 4 hours when I work.

The guy in the bed next to him on the trauma ward had pelvic fractures and no one at home. The hospital were sending him to a rehabilitation centre for 3 months. Dh is dreading that happening so I really hope I can manage at home.

OP posts:

Nothingyet · 04/06/2021 12:24

Oh I do hope things work out well for you, best wishes.

WiddlinDiddlin · 04/06/2021 12:28

That commode has wheels simply so you can move it easily.

It is NOT a chair he should sit in for any length of time and not designed to be pushed around with him in it (you won't be able to, it will hurt you to try!).

If he needs a wheelchair at home he needs to have one with a suitable cushion that can be self propelled or pushed by you (having just an attendant pushed chair will be horrible and they are awful on carpet) - do not let them give you duff equipment OR dump equipment on you that does not meet his/your needs OR dump it on you without explanation!

Original poster

SmileyClare · 04/06/2021 12:35

Right I 'll ask for another wheelchair. God feel so unprepared. He definitely won't be able to walk next week when he's expected to come home. He's in agony just shuffling about in bed. If he can move a few steps to a chair or commode he's allowed home.

If it comes to it, someone on here said wheelchairs can be hired from the Red Cross which might be an option.

Thanks for the best wishes

OP posts:

LookItsMeAgain · 04/06/2021 12:57

Honestly @SmileyClare, much as I love my husband (and I do) if he were to have a broken pelvis, I would be delighted for him to go into a rehabilitation centre for even a few weeks.
If the option for your DH is there, I would grab it with both hands. They will get him over the first few weeks which are going to be the toughest ones imaginable. They will help him adapt to being largely bedridden for the first few weeks and help him get back on his feet after that.
He might not want to go but it might be best for him in the longer term if he did go. You both might want him to be home, but home might not be the best place for him straightaway after the hospital stay.
He has gone from being active and fully mobile to being restricted to his bed following a significant accident. This needs proper care and attention once he is discharged.
By the end of this, you would be able to be a nurses assistant, mark my words.

LookItsMeAgain · 04/06/2021 12:59

Also, you're not asking for another wheelchair.
What you currently have is a commode and it has wheels so that you can move it, unoccupied, to be close to the bed for the patient. It is not a wheelchair.
You will be asking for a wheelchair.

Xiaoxiong · 04/06/2021 13:16

When DS1 broke his femur and was in a cast from waist to ankle we rented a special wheelchair from the Red Cross - I seem to remember it was actually free, we just had to put down a deposit that was fully refunded when we returned the chair (we told them to keep the deposit as a donation). We needed a referral from the hospital though so might be worth enquiring about that.

Dora33 · 04/06/2021 13:26

I would request the rehabilitation centre if I were you. We had a family member come home too early from hospital with bad breaks and found the care too hard.
The family member ended up having to be readmitted to hospital and then was transferred to the rehabilitation centre. We were lucky this happened. They would never have progressed at the rate they did considering their age, if their rehabilitation had consisted of out patience treatments even if we had been able to manage the care at home
Your husband of course wants to get back home but it might be best for you all and especially himself if he goes to a rehabilitation centre.

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 04/06/2021 13:37

I agree with requesting the rehabilitation centre. I am currently suffering from a very bad back and mostly in bed and even that is hard for me and the family. At least in a centre he can more easily get proper pain medication if it needs changing and help moving about and so on plus you can work. I know he is probably bored and lonely in hospital but I think the practical side will be more important until the worst of his pain is reduced.

Cocolapew · 04/06/2021 13:40

I'm sorry to hear about your DH I hope he recovers well
My DH had a motorcycle accident years ago and wrecked his right ankle and left arm amongst other things. He found it difficult to get around because he couldn't use crutches because of his arm and shoulder injuries.
He would be downstairs during the day. Because I had to work I used to leave a cool bag with sandwiches and snacks beside the sofa. I also brought the kettle etc in and used a low table to he could get his endless cups of tea. His injuries weren't as severe as your DHs so ge could shuffle on his bum if he needed to to go the loo.
My dad popped in at lunchtime in case he needed help.

Embracelife · 04/06/2021 13:42

Aunt went to rehab centrexwuth broken leg before home with commode bed downstairs etc.
Send him to rehaB for few weeks

LIZS · 04/06/2021 13:43

He will need carers/nursing care to avoid and monitor any pressure sores and help with personal care, plus physio visits. Also fall prevention should he try to transfer from bed to commode/chair independently. Tbh a rehab unit at least until he can manage the basics and his pain is under control would be a better option.

Original poster

SmileyClare · 04/06/2021 13:55

Hmm You're probably right about the rehabilitation centre (if they'll have him). Just for the first few weeks I'm just going to be muddling along and having a breakdown so it would be better for his recovery if experts were helping.

I think I'll frame it to dh like that; it will speed up his recovery to get rehabilitation from people who know what they're doing. Then I could work more as well. We're going to be very poor without his income.

Thanks for the information about Red Cross. It looks like we can hire a suitable one for £17.50 a week if the hospital won't provide one.
Argh lots to think about.

OP posts:

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 04/06/2021 14:03

Hopefully they will have him at the rehab centre, be sure to tell them you have to work and are not available 24/7 that might sway their decision. Another point in its favour is it would give you a bit longer to work out what he would need and get organised at home.

Original poster

SmileyClare · 04/06/2021 14:18

Thanks GlutenFreeGingerCake and sorry about your back, that sounds rough. Any injury that means you're incapacitated is just awful.

Seeing some of the terrible injuries, some life changing on the major trauma ward is very sobering indeed. Lots of them are young guys who have been pulled from car crashes. They've all sort of made friends with each other on the ward and try to keep each other's spirits up which is nice.

OP posts:

Confrontayshunme · 04/06/2021 14:55

My husband broke his pelvis/femur in October, and it was HELL with pain and full time care for about three weeks. Pre surgery is the worst kind of grinding pain you can imagine, but he will be much better after it is stabilised. My DH was grey until after the surgery. Then, he could rest and sleep better. Invest in supportive pillows for at home. They made a big difference. And just take it one day at a time. Give him reminders and time to do his physio. DH did his physio 4-5 times a day, and he has recovered really well.

GlutenFreeGingerCake · 04/06/2021 15:36

Thanks @SmileyClare I am getting better now but it really is hard to be in a lot of pain and immobile of course. One thing I found hard was being left at home while dh was at work, even though I had everything to hand, as I felt vulnerable if there was an emergency like a fire or something. Now I can walk a bit I feel so much better about things like that.

Original poster

SmileyClare · 04/06/2021 15:39

That's reassuring thanks. Pleased to hear your husband is fully recovered. That sounds like a lot of physio, he must have been very determined. Was he following exercises he'd been given to do at home?

It's nice to hear from people who've been in the husband with a broken pelvis club.

OP posts:

cmonarrycmon · 04/06/2021 15:47

@WiddlinDiddlin

That commode has wheels simply so you can move it easily.

It is NOT a chair he should sit in for any length of time and not designed to be pushed around with him in it (you won't be able to, it will hurt you to try!).

This type of commode can be used to help move someone from A to B, that's why it has wheels. No you don't want someone sitting it as as you would a chair, but it's fine for short distances. It's much more likely to fit through doorways and around corners in hallways etc than a standard wheelchair.

cmonarrycmon · 04/06/2021 15:49

@LookItsMeAgain

Also, you're not asking for another wheelchair. What you currently have is a commode and it has wheels so that you can move it, unoccupied, to be close to the bed for the patient. It is not a wheelchair. You will be asking for a wheelchair.

That's not why it has wheels! It has wheels so you can move it whilst someone is sitting in it. @SmileyClare

Mindymomo · 04/06/2021 15:50

Please take the maximum amount of care that can be offered at home, you can always drop some of the care after, but it’s not easy to increase the care once home. If you are going to be going out to work, your DH will need carers throughout the day. You should have a meeting to discuss what your DH is going to need before he comes home.

cmonarrycmon · 04/06/2021 15:56

@SmileyClare I know it's scary at the moment but it will be ok and you will get through this.
In-patient rehab is great but as with any intervention, it's only provided if it's needed. Everyone's situation and needs are different, so there'll be reasons why the man in the bed next to your DH is going there, but your DH hasn't been offered it.
Absolutely talk to the team and find out why it's not felt he needs that type of input. If it's appropriate home really is the best place for someone to rehab and recover. Make sure the staff are fully aware of your work commitments and what support you can / cannot give. There should be any expectation that you will need to "lift" your DH, moving and handling plans will be put in place before he goes home.
I really do wish you both the best of luck.

blahblahblah321 · 04/06/2021 16:00

Another here suggesting he takes rehab if he can. Even if it means you can work more whilst he's in there so you can get some free time once he's home? So sorry you're in this position

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