Is it OK to ask nanny to cook one big meal ?

[gagahagahah]

Is that fair ? She cooks for DD anyway, so I tend to ask her to just make a big meal instead which everyone ( including herself if she wants, can eat).

Or is this out of line ?

Also, is it OK to ask nanny to load / unload dishwasher and do DDs washing, if time allows ? It is that out of line ?

What’s in the contract?

When I had a Nanny, nursery duties and cooking for the kids were in the contract so that would include the kids laundry and keeping their rooms tidy
I didn’t ask her to cook for us - she would occasionally do a load of laundry and unload the dishwasher if she was cooking for the kids rather than leave stuff for me to clean up

our nanny would do the children's laundry (that was in the contract). She emptied the dishwasher (but didn't have to).

Nanny normally cooked dinner for the children at 5pm - something easy like pasta or fish fingers. If DH was out for dinner (or I was out), I'd ask her to cook for the children + an extra portion and then I (or DH) would reheat the extra portion for our dinner later. But if DH & I were both home, we'd cook our own food.

It's probably best to keep nanny's duties child related.

I think I wouldn't as it's usually outside a nannys job role, unless -
Your daughter is older, at the age where she doesn't really need a nanny but can't be left on her own and so she has more free time
It's a one off like you both have late meetings that day
Or you reciprocate say she cooks a family meal half the week and you get a takeaway or cook a family meal some days, which includes her, or let her go early, so overall it's not any more work for her

It depends what it is I suppose. A pasta bake or chilli con carne takes little more effort to make a family-sized portion rather than enough for a couple of kids. I can't see there's any harm in this.
But if it was something where each additional portion requires additional prep, that's probably less reasonable.

Really think you need to keep it to child related duties only.

OK will keep it in mind.

I was a nanny years ago and I wouldn’t of been happy to cook for adults, I wouldn’t want that pressure, cooking a quick pasta or sausage meal for two children in different than cooking a meal for adults. You need a housekeeper too if you want meals prepared or washing doing.

The line between nanny and housekeeper would become blurred. Sit down with her and, as pp said, compromise so you take over some evenings? Personally I'd be happy bunging all our washing in together in exchange for a couple of evening. Talk it over with her and redefine the role.

When we had a nanny, she cooked for the children (including batch cooking so there was stuff in the freezer for weekends), and did all the children’s laundry and ironing. I really missed that when the youngest started school! But it was very clearly for the children, and agreed in the contract, which helped to keep the boundaries clear.

There is absolutely no right or wrong answer here.

When you hire a nanny, you negotiate and agree on her duties. For some, that might mean simply caring for the children, for others, that will also include children's washing/cooking/tidying and for others there may be some very light additional housekeeping such as keeping communal areas clean/tidy, emptying dishwasher etc.

Food is absolutely one of those things. We had a nanny 2 days a week and she would cook sufficient for all of us. As that was what we agreed. Usually things like cottage pie or chicken casseroles. Part of the reason we loved her was that when DH had the DC, they lived on things like fish fingers etc, so those were two days they got "proper" food during the week, and I didn't have to cook when I got home. I personally would not have hired a nanny who was not willing to do that.

Each to their own.

It isn't standard for a Nanny to cook for the adults so no, I wouldn't ask. That's crossing over into housekeeper duties.

I agree with PP, I would feel worried that you wouldn't be happy with my cooking and would expect me to 'level up' and make it more adult appropriate.

If you're happy to eat exactly the same thing she cooks now for your DD and it doesn't mean lots of extra prep I think it's okay.

Keep in mind she probably doesn't want to eat the same dinner as the child every night, so saying she can have some isn't much help.

Do you have a nanny now or are you thinking of hiring one?

For a FT nanny washing children’s clothes, keeping their rooms near etc is standard.

When we advertised for a FT I expressly added in loading/unloading dishwasher and cooking a family meal 1-2 times a week. Plus occasional errands such as going to the post office, picking up bits of extra food needed. If you start off with that clear people can not apply if they don’t like it.

Gosh everyone I know with a nanny just has the nanny make a simple/easy one dish meal (pasta bolognese, sausage casserole, fish pie) and the whole family eat it. It is often suggested to me as one of the key reasons to get a nanny!!

Ps this wouldnt be every night but 1-2 times a week.

I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask. Be prepared for her to want to keep her duties to kids stuff though.

Very seasoned nanny here!

I’ve had jobs where I cook for only the kids, jobs where I must cook for everyone every night and my current job where it’s a mix of both.

I have absolutely no problem cooking for all of them especially if it’s something like pasta or sausage and mash where it’s just a case of cooking a bit more of what I’m already cooking...my only gripe is that it means there’s never leftovers for me to use another night if we need a super quick meal but it’s not the end of the world

I have no problem doing the dishwasher if I’m pottering around the kitchen anyway... I do have a problem with my boss getting annoyed if I don’t do it for whatever reason because it’s not actually my job.

And kids washing is part of nursery duties so I’ve never not been asked to do it!

Well, I decide anyway what is made for DD every day. I would just ask for bigger portions. Instead of one chicken breast, add 3. Or make a big batch of pasta sauce kind of thing.

@HoldingTheDoor

It isn't standard for a Nanny to cook for the adults so no, I wouldn't ask. That's crossing over into housekeeper duties.

I never really understand this sort of attitude. What is so intrinsically bad about that? I mean, if the nanny doesn't want to do it, fair enough, but is it so bad to even ask? Especially at the time of hiring a nanny. As @AtLeastPretendToCare says - if you make it clear this is what you're looking for up front, then it really isn't an issue.

And if you want to change the terms of an already-in-place nanny, I'd think you should know the person well enough to know whether or not they'd be open to it. eg, our nanny was not flexible on timings at short notice. At all. I learnt that very quickly. So, while, at some point, I've have liked to suggest a slightly different option re timing, I knew it wouldn't work for her and didn't even bring it up. Surely if someone is in your home, looking after your children you have a pretty good sense of how they feel about things?

@IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece

Very seasoned nanny here!

I’ve had jobs where I cook for only the kids, jobs where I must cook for everyone every night and my current job where it’s a mix of both.

I have absolutely no problem cooking for all of them especially if it’s something like pasta or sausage and mash where it’s just a case of cooking a bit more of what I’m already cooking...my only gripe is that it means there’s never leftovers for me to use another night if we need a super quick meal but it’s not the end of the world

I have no problem doing the dishwasher if I’m pottering around the kitchen anyway... I do have a problem with my boss getting annoyed if I don’t do it for whatever reason because it’s not actually my job.

And kids washing is part of nursery duties so I’ve never not been asked to do it!

Number one priority is the children. I would never expect the dishwasher to be loaded / unloaded instead of looking after the kids. If during nap time and while nanny is cooking, the dishwasher needs unloading- it's done anyway. Would never ever ask though.

As long as you’re not filling nap time with a list of jobs and she is getting some time for her own lunch and to sit down then I, sure she’ll be fine with it

Oh and agree with PP about not expecting more adult food!

If I’m cooking for you, you get what the kids are given...like it or lump it!

@IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece

Oh and agree with PP about not expecting more adult food!

If I’m cooking for you, you get what the kids are given...like it or lump it!

That's right, same food.