Is it OK to ask nanny to cook one big meal ?

[gagahagahah]

Is that fair ? She cooks for DD anyway, so I tend to ask her to just make a big meal instead which everyone ( including herself if she wants, can eat).

Or is this out of line ?

Also, is it OK to ask nanny to load / unload dishwasher and do DDs washing, if time allows ? It is that out of line ?

Thing is, its still extra work, thats not child related by cooking a big portion. Dishwasher, surely they could put stuff used in there if theres room?

You cant ask them to do your washing. Just the kids.

Things like the dishwasher or cleaning up after you in the kitchen isnt their job.

If you start adding in doing all washing and dishwasher into the contract then you're trying to get a housekeeper and a nanny in one packet.

Cooking for the family, are you expecting them to cook a kids meal and an adults meal? Or will it be big pots of the one meal?

You can ask her/him, but it sounds like a variation to her contract terms, and a bit of a move to becoming a nanny housekeeper, which she would need to agree to. She might come back and ask for a slightly higher hourly rate. She might just say it's fine.

We had the same nanny for years. She liked cooking and would often make stuff for us all to eat, she was very good at fancy puddings. Sometimes you find extra benefits as the relationship develops. I used to iron some of her dresses, which were difficult to iron. She and her boyfriend would sometimes exercise my horse. If you have the right nanny, and respect their time off etc. you develop your own unique way of working together.

If you have the right nanny, and respect their time off etc. you develop your own unique way of working together

Absolutely yes to this!

As someone with a DP who travels a lot for work and eats later than the kids on those nights, YABU. Big difference between making something for kids and making a family sized meal.

It's fine if you're open about it in the beginning, and it can of course be negotiated later but I used to work in childcare and it wasn't standard then, and isn't standard now, at least in my area. That said I do wonder if employers pay more when they increase the number of duties. A few Nanny friends had an ever increasing number of tasks added to their list of duties and didn't get a penny more for it. Their employers couldn't understand why they were so keen to jump ship but there are limits. Personally I still think of it of a housekeeper's duty, unless you're paying accordingly.

Our nanny does it all the time.
A big batch of bolognaise, shepherds pie etc
Something that we can all eat, even if we don't eat the same time.

But she also thinks nothing of putting our washing on when she needs to fill the machine when doing DCs laundry, so isn't one of those sorts

If a nanny wants to be totally by the book and only cook a child-sized portion of something when it would take the same time and effort to make enough for 4, it would be the start of the end for me of that relationship

But she also thinks nothing of putting our washing on when she needs to fill the machine when doing DCs laundry, so isn't one of those sorts

What's one of those sorts? People who don't want to be taken advantage of, and not just have their employers pile on duty after duty with no increase in pay?

You know her so you should be able to judge how she'd take it. Some wouldn't mind, others would feel a little insulted to be treated like your personal chef.

I think this is more "mother's help" territory.

Depends on the kids; age, needs, amount etc. Our old Nanny never did any thing like laundry, tidying kids rooms, food prep etc because she had 2-3 kids under 4 to look after, who also were high needs/energy, non nappers. I was just eternally grateful she turned up everyday!

However, she previously worked for a couple who had one 1 year old who had 2 decent naps a day, so for them it was agreed the baby's laundry, room and playthings were looked after by her and she cooked his lunch and dinner everyday (also shopped for the food - they used to leave the recipes they liked her to try out) and once a week she did a larger lasagne or shepherds pie type dinner that they could all eat. It was all agreed at interview stage tho.

It sounds like you want a housekeeper as well as a nanny. Cooking for adults puts her under a different kind of scrutiny and pressure. I think that will make her significantly more stressed.
I think stretching duties to include things that are not relevant to childcare purely to make your life easier needs a proper discussion and perhaps a wage increase. I am sure you have boundaries within your job I think you need to ensure you respect hers.
I would imagine she is a lot younger and dealing with two older adults it is very easy for you to take advantage and make her feel she is being silly for just not going along with it. If you want her to take on this change you have to talk it through properly with her and it would need to be a contractual change agreed between you both.
I worked as a nanny for many years and the amount of ‘ Could you just’ is unbelievable, and then you are often made to feel small or unreasonable for not going along with something when it is clear they are taking the mick.

Nanny duties :

Cook meal, sometimes larger for everyone

Tidy toys away at the end of the day

Change nappies

Look after child

Give snacks fo child and feed lunch

Doesn't do :

Washing ( neither mine nor child's )

Dishwasher

Slave labour

@HoldingTheDoor

But she also thinks nothing of putting our washing on when she needs to fill the machine when doing DCs laundry, so isn't one of those sorts

What's one of those sorts? People who don't want to be taken advantage of, and not just have their employers pile on duty after duty with no increase in pay?

No, one of those who would walk past a laundry basket to put on a half load, rather than pause for, ooh, all of 30 seconds, to take out a few items to make a full load

Anyone who is such as extraordinary jobsworth that they would rather waste the water and electricity of a half load than use a single braincell of initiative to be helpful has no place working for our family.

Thankfully all the nannies we've had have been wonderful people who don't equate helpfulness with being taken advantage of.

They've all spent many years with our family, only leaving to go on maternity leave or move back to their home county for family reasons, so I am confident I am a good employer who doesn't take advantage of anyone

Personally I would expect if a nanny is cooking something like a cottage pie that she should be freezing portions for her charges for future meals rather than it being eaten by other members of the family.

Of course you might be able to arrange something other than that but I think it’s not standard. Maybe a quid pro quo arrangement would work where 1 night a week nanny makes a big meal for the whole family and 1 night a week you cook something with enough leftovers for the DC the following day?

For those saying cooking for adults should mean a pay rise,
The going rate for nannies vs nanny housekeepers is pretty much the same.

The main difference between pay expectations seems to be how many children they are expected to look after

So a 'pure' nanny will look after up to 3 children for the same rate.
A nanny housekeeper will tend to look after 2

So if you have 1 or 2 children and expect a few meals cooked for you, the market rate for pay is the same as for 1 or 2 children and no other duties.

Also LOL-ing at the idea that someone who has chosen a career in nannying would get 'significantly stressed' at having to make a larger portion of food which an adult might eat some of. Some of these posters have absolutely no clue

@GappyValley "If a nanny wants to be totally by the book and only cook a child-sized portion of something when it would take the same time and effort to make enough for 4, it would be the start of the end for me of that relationship"

What? My bolognese is full of veg and it takes 4 times as long to chop and grate for 4 portions as it does for one. Similar with anything that involves veg, which is basically all food. Peeling a big pile of potatoes for mash for the whole family takes longer than just doing it for her charges, it's simple physics.

If cooking for 4 takes exactly the same time and effort as cooking for 1 then why have the nanny cook at all? It would be just as easy to make all your child's food yourself while cooking for the adults, and just ask the nanny to heat it up. But we all know that would be more work for you.

GappyValley I have more than a clue I was a nanny for 10 years. It is much more stressful as a 20 year old cooking for two adults than it is cooking kids tea. I had some employers then try to extend the cooking of the evening meal into a dinner party for 12.
So I am only talking from you own experience but I would get really stressed about trying to makes sauces, or follow recipes that the employers has specified then if it tasted bad or I overcooked it I would worry a lot more.

@GappyValley

Our nanny does it all the time. A big batch of bolognaise, shepherds pie etc Something that we can all eat, even if we don't eat the same time.

But she also thinks nothing of putting our washing on when she needs to fill the machine when doing DCs laundry, so isn't one of those sorts

If a nanny wants to be totally by the book and only cook a child-sized portion of something when it would take the same time and effort to make enough for 4, it would be the start of the end for me of that relationship

Agree. It’s not always chicken nuggets and chips or sausages that you want for your kids anyway! I’d want better meals than that appearing a few days of the week.

My nanny wound make a bake and I’d have had no time for her being precious about who ate it. I also encouraged her to eat our food, eat with the kids if she wanted (or not).

But it’s very hard to change expectations. I have always found (with cleaner too) just be straight. People would rather know what you’re expecting than get vibes there are somehow missing the mark. My cleaner will say to me ok I can do x, but I’ll only do y every second week now, and that’s perfectly fine with me. Gives them a chance too to set expectations.

I had a nanny who refused the empty the dishwasher - it was very annoying (in fact it was something I didn't realise would be so annoying).
I made sure it was in the next nannies contract!

I've never asked a nanny to cook for the family, I think it's too difficult to cater for everyone's likes and dislikes. Often nannies are quite young and I think a couple of ours would have found it quite stressful.

Admittedly as I got older I got to be a much better cook but I do think cooking in volume, ie enough for 3 adults and 2 kids is abit of a learned skill.

Agree with others that her role as nanny is child-based, rather than for the whole family. Doing the family meal and family laundry etc is part of housekeeping.

Nicer problems than have these aren't they lol 😂

@GappyValley

Do you apply that to every working person then? If you manage anyone in your line of work, do you expect them to take on extra duty after extra duty, which they are not being paid for, and if they dont, you'd be preparing to fire them?

And if your boss added duty after duty which you are not contacted to do, nor are you paid to do, would you happily accept being fired if you said no?

Its not thing for a nanny to do the odd extra because they want to. It is quite another for those extras to he expected, or they face getting sacked.