Is it OK to ask nanny to cook one big meal ?

[gagahagahah]

Is that fair ? She cooks for DD anyway, so I tend to ask her to just make a big meal instead which everyone ( including herself if she wants, can eat).

Or is this out of line ?

Also, is it OK to ask nanny to load / unload dishwasher and do DDs washing, if time allows ? It is that out of line ?

Also LOL-ing at the idea that someone who has chosen a career in nannying would get 'significantly stressed' at having to make a larger portion of food which an adult might eat some of. Some of these posters have absolutely no clue.

I'm not sure that you have a clue either when you somehow think that there's no more time or effort involved in preparing food for a whole family as opposed to one child.

If cooking for 4 takes exactly the same time and effort as cooking for 1 then why have the nanny cook at all? It would be just as easy to make all your child's food yourself while cooking for the adults, and just ask the nanny to heat it up. But we all know that would be more work for you.

Because DC eat at 5pm, and we eat at 8pm, and quite often eat things that would be too spicy for DC.

But if we are making something that DC can eat, we quite regularly make extra so our nanny can use the leftovers the following day.

And equally, if she is making something like a shepherds pie, she will ask me if she should make a big portion for us all.
If we say no, she will usually make a big portion anyway, and freeze the extra portions which we can use at weekends, or she can use in the week. So your point about peeling extra spuds doesn't make any sense.

I honestly don't know how anyone would put up with a total jobsworth nanny.
Most of my friends have or have had nannies, and these 'only do the children washing' ones only seem to exist on MN threads

I think occasionally it’s ok to ask, maybe say every Wednesday or a day you know she has less on.

Otherwise it is more work. For children I would prefer nanny to make a veggie filled Bolognese/ fish pie and then label and freeze down extra portions so there’s a supply in freezer of easy but healthy food for another day when either nanny or parents are busy. That would be super helpful.

It also means they can’t just do a quicker dinner for child if they have been outside later in park, or child has been fussy, tired and needed them more hands on that day.

I imagine that some nannies will be happy to cook, empty dishwasher etc and some won't. I think important to set out your expectations when recruiting, rather than seeking to change the goal posts later

If you want to add duties AFTER someone has started working for you, then you need to check if they're amenable to the proposed change, and either pay extra or take away some other duty. Otherwise, you're asking them to work harder for no increase in pay, and that's not fair

[quote Librariesmakeshhhhappen]@GappyValley

Do you apply that to every working person then? If you manage anyone in your line of work, do you expect them to take on extra duty after extra duty, which they are not being paid for, and if they dont, you'd be preparing to fire them?

And if your boss added duty after duty which you are not contacted to do, nor are you paid to do, would you happily accept being fired if you said no?

Its not thing for a nanny to do the odd extra because they want to. It is quite another for those extras to he expected, or they face getting sacked.[/quote]
If I'm using the printer and notice the paper is low, I will put some more in.

Technically, it's not my job. It's the office managers job, and I could call her and make her come and do it while I stand there and watch
But I'm not a monumental dickhead, so I wouldn't do that.

Equally, if I'm going to get some lunch from the cafe, I will usually say 'does anyone want anything from the cafe?' and if my boss says yes, but can you go to Pret next door?', I will. Even though it isn't my job to do that, it is his PA's job, and even though it will take me ohhh, minutes longer.
Sometimes he might even notice me getting up and ask me to pick something up while I'm out. And again, because I'm not a monumental dickhead, I won't think 'oooh, I'm being taken advantage of here'

It depends. If eg children have a lot of after school activities it could be imposing a lot of extra work. If nanny is making cottage pie Monday thinking it will do Tuesday after swimming lessons too and adults eat it it’s different to if she’s there and cooking every tea time. All you can do is advertise accordingly or if in role discuss with her.

They've all spent many years with our family, only leaving to go on maternity leave or move back to their home county for family reasons, so I am confident I am a good employer who doesn't take advantage of anyone

I agree with this statement. Our nanny worked for us for 2.5 years and only stopped because she needed more hours than we could give her. She has remained our default babysitter ever since and although we haven't been able to see her much over the last year, she's got a day out planned with DD during half term and I'm honestly not sure who isomer excited - DD or nanny!

But we've always been clear up front re expectations. Been clear that if we asked for anything extra/different, she had the right to say no. Paid fairly and promptly and were considerate if she needed flexibility from us for any reason. I massively valued her ability to think for herself and be independent so never micro managed her in any way, which I think she appreciated. And meant, for example, that cooking extra portions for me and DH was no big deal as I had no input and applied no pressure - if she made chicken for kids, she made the exact same for us.

It’s a tough one Op as I am a Nanny and I love cooking and would have absolutely no problem with this. But technically it’s not her job to cook for you.

For example in my current job I’ll make a bolognese and text boss and say plenty help yourself. But I want the freedom to also say ok today is a freezer day (I batch cook) so mum n dad are on their on for dinner that night.

@GappyValley

That's not what I asked. I asked, would you accept being fired for not doing thise extras?

You do them because you choose to. You dont get sacked if you dont.

The nanny can do that stuff if they want to. But you said if they didnt, it would be the beginning if the end. So you would sack them for not doing the added extras.

I'm not a nanny but do work with children. I'm required to cook meals for the children, but personally I prefer to cook enough to feed everyone (including myself ) and usually means we can all sit together and eat. But I don't think it should be a requirement to do that.

Re washing I do all children laundry and make the children beds every Monday.

And I will happy load unload a dishwasher

"But if we are making something that DC can eat, we quite regularly make extra so our nanny can use the leftovers the following day."

This hadn't been mentioned either by OP or by yourself. There's a world of difference between expecting the nanny regularly to cook for the whole family as a one way thing, and a kind of swapping system where it goes both ways.

Of course you do shepherd's pie or Bolognese as a batch cooking thing. But if the whole family eats it you'll be cooking it much more often than if you're freezing the extras for DC. It's not "creating no more work" to cook for the whole family.

[quote Librariesmakeshhhhappen]@GappyValley

That's not what I asked. I asked, would you accept being fired for not doing thise extras?

You do them because you choose to. You dont get sacked if you dont.

The nanny can do that stuff if they want to. But you said if they didnt, it would be the beginning if the end. So you would sack them for not doing the added extras.[/quote]
Who said the nanny would get sacked? OP is asking whether she can even ask the nanny to do this. I don't think there's been any suggestion that if she doesn't want to, the nanny will be fired.

And as has been said many times on this thread, with nannies, it's often about asking and clarifying expectations right up front. Which is perfectly reasonable.

As a temp, I was always being asked to go back to offices I'd covered for previously. Because often temps can't do as much as regular employees so I'd have some spare time so was always happy to take on some random additional tasks from making tea for meetings to getting through a pile of boring old filing. It didn't feel like a big deal to me but apparently most temps were unwilling. Their loss - I was never out of work as a temp for more than about a day.

@Triffid1

GappyValley did. You know, the person my post was direct toward. Nothing to do with the OP. I was talking to GappyValley, who said it would be the beginning of the end for her nanny if the nanny didnt do the extra stuff, not in her contract and not to do with the children she is caring for.

My point, to Gappy Valley not to the OP, was that sacking someone for not doing extra work is a ahit way to behave. She willingly does extra at work, but if she didnt, she wouldn't get fired.

*directed towards.

[quote Librariesmakeshhhhappen]@Triffid1

GappyValley did. You know, the person my post was direct toward. Nothing to do with the OP. I was talking to GappyValley, who said it would be the beginning of the end for her nanny if the nanny didnt do the extra stuff, not in her contract and not to do with the children she is caring for.

My point, to Gappy Valley not to the OP, was that sacking someone for not doing extra work is a ahit way to behave. She willingly does extra at work, but if she didnt, she wouldn't get fired.[/quote]
She probably wouldn't have been hired in the first place.
I make it very clear at interview stage what our exceptions are, and what we offer in return.

I have no time for 'technically that's not my job' attitudes either in my day job (8 years as head of a department of 250 people at a multinational investment firm; now running a smaller firm) nor for our nannies. The staff retention rates for both my day job and nannies is excellent, so I am fully confident in my management of expectations and day to day workload.

And in return, we don't have a 'technically that is your job' attitude to our nanny. If she needs to run personal errands during the day, she does.
Hell, she even has her own profile on my Peloton bike so she can take some time out for a workout if she wishes.
If I finish early for the day, she knocks off early and still gets paid. If DH or I take a day off midweek, she usually gets it off as a bonus day
But these 'perks' come with give and take.

Like I said, all my friends have had nannies at some point, and no one has ever ended up with a by-the-book type. I just don't think they would get employed.

Very few posters on here have experience of employing nannies, and the assumption seems to be they are poorly-paid, constantly taken advantage of and do the grunt work.

The reality is they are earning £40k+ a year, most are graduates, and all have actively chosen this career with their eyes open that it means working with people who almost always have busy jobs and are used to managing staff earning a similar level in their day jobs and therefore have certain expectations.

If one of my team at work, earning £45k, turned around to me and said they refused to pick up my printing at the same time they were at the printer picking up their own, they wouldn't last very long in my team.
By the same token, nor will a nanny who refuses to put twice as much rice in a pan so we can eat some as well.

I think the clue is in her job title. My nanny or nannies ( we had three - they kept having babies of their own ) were OK with throwing the vaccume round and bunging a load in the washing machine if and when they had the opportunity but nothing more. We paid over the going rate as compensation.

Personally I don't think it's reasonable ti expect nanny to cook for the whole family. I don't ask my nanny to do anything other than take care of the kids - play, sing, feed, wash if needed! I want her attention to be directly on them. I think asking her to do washing etc is verging on outside of her job responsibilities (unless you discussed with her before she started).

[quote Librariesmakeshhhhappen]@GappyValley

That's not what I asked. I asked, would you accept being fired for not doing thise extras?

You do them because you choose to. You dont get sacked if you dont.

The nanny can do that stuff if they want to. But you said if they didnt, it would be the beginning if the end. So you would sack them for not doing the added extras.[/quote]
And to answer your question, if there were several occasions where my boss saw me leaving to buy lunch, and asked me to get him a sandwich, and I replied 'no, that isn't in my job description so get it yourself' and then I subsequently didn't pass my probation, I wouldn't be surprised.

I had marked myself out as being unhelpful and exactly the opposite of the sort of culture we have in our firm.

I suspect part of the reason I have got to where I am in my career is my ability to be helpful, see the bigger picture, and generally not be a dickhead.

If it is that or still be earning peanuts, but never deviating from what is technically my job, I know what I would rather be doing.

I’ve been a nanny for 20 years in 3 jobs and in my current job I cook for everyone; parents included every day, it really isn’t that much more work. I also do all kids laundry and will happily do adult laundry if I see any around. To be honest I feel like my role should be an extra pair of hands so I do whatever needs doing. My only issue would be if they left pots from weekend for me to do on a Monday morning when I’m trying to get everyone fed, dressed and out the door for school run buy unloading/ reloading dishwasher is absolutely fine. I think some nannies are ridiculous with what they won’t do. Perfectly reasonable requests in my opinion. X

I think it would be an absolute cheek to ask a nanny to cook the evening meal for everyone. Emptying dishwasher is fine. Washing children's clothes is meant to be part of a nanny duties so I suppose that would be ok.

I would load and unload the dishwasher and if I was making a shepherds pie when I had older children I would always make extra so the parents would have dinner made for them. Seemed silly not too though the request for baked beans in it..[sick].

I found I was willing to do all sorts extra that wasn't in my contract if the parents treated me nicely.

I went through an agency that had nanny/housekeepers on its booked and hired a nanny/housekeeper - so she cooks meals for kids, meals for adults and everything in between. The kids are older. If she had sole charge of kids I wouldn't expect any housekeeping duties.

When I used to have a nanny she would size up meals so there was enough for the adults; this was discussed at interview so we were clear and she was a confident cook.

@GappyValley honestly I couldn't agree more with you.

@GappyValley there needs to be common sense, on both sides.