Is it OK to ask nanny to cook one big meal ?

[gagahagahah]

Is that fair ? She cooks for DD anyway, so I tend to ask her to just make a big meal instead which everyone ( including herself if she wants, can eat).

Or is this out of line ?

Also, is it OK to ask nanny to load / unload dishwasher and do DDs washing, if time allows ? It is that out of line ?

@NannyR

Most nannies I know, myself included, don't mind mucking in with general stuff like emptying the bin or dishwasher if it's full and they need to use it. Likewise if the washer is full of the parents washing, I don't mind hanging it out, so I can do the kids stuff. What isn't OK is these jobs always being left for the nanny - I'm talking about coming in on a Monday morning to a full dishwasher and all the dirty Sunday roast pots and pans stacked next to it, or parents continuously ignoring a full bin.

I'm always shocked by nannies who have to deal with this. We'd expect general day to day tidying, but not EXTRA. Similarly, our nanny was helping her other family with bed routines/sleep training. All good - they got her to come in for a few extra evenings (for which they paid, of course) etc. Great progress, everyone happy.

Then, for the next few months, they would call and/or text her at all hours of the day and night. Questions when things weren't going well. Updates when they were. One one occasion she woke up to find a series of increasingly frantic demands from her boss, sent in the early hours of the morning. Astonishing.

Laundry. Kids only

Don’t Mind putting washed clothes in tumble dryer if mb put a load on when she woke up

Def not happy handling db skidded pants or mb blood stained knickers

Yes had friends have to do that 😱😱😱😱😱

@GappyValley agree with your posts. On Mumsnet there is this weird attitude with nannies and similar that employers are unreasonably monsters in wanting them to do their jobs properly or be flexible around the edges. See threads about nanny wanting to leaving early each day for example.

We are flexible with our nanny, who has been with us long term, and in return she is flexible with us. If everyone is clear about expectations and consider what is reasonable and doable the job can include whatever people agree.

It’s totally different having to make dinner for the parents as well as the kids. It’s like saying it’s no extra hassle if you’re a single parent having two adults turn up for dinner every night in stead of jist cooking for the kids, it totally is.

Making the kids tea is one thing, being expected to make everyone’s dinner is something else entirely.

[quote AtLeastPretendToCare]@GappyValley agree with your posts. On Mumsnet there is this weird attitude with nannies and similar that employers are unreasonably monsters in wanting them to do their jobs properly or be flexible around the edges. See threads about nanny wanting to leaving early each day for example.

We are flexible with our nanny, who has been with us long term, and in return she is flexible with us. If everyone is clear about expectations and consider what is reasonable and doable the job can include whatever people agree.[/quote]
Many of these ideas are based on the unspoken view that the "extra" tasks are somehow embarassing/inappropriate. I suspect many people who are outraged at idea of nanny doing a few tidying up tasks are also the type who would never employ a cleaner or who spend 3 hours tidying up before the cleaner arrives because all the cleaner should ever do is hoover, clean windows and wipe down surfaces.

Op it sounds like you need to hire either a housekeeper to do the other stuff while your nanny does the child related stuff....or ...hire a nanny housekeeper, where they would do the childcare and the house work, cooking, cleaning etc

Maybe you could renegotiate your nanny's contract and ask if she would be willing to work as a nanny housekeeper ?( If she says yes, you would have to pay her extra for her additional duties and draw up a new contract clearly listing what her new work tasks are

@4fingerKitKat

I would definitely find cooking a meal to be eaten by adults to be more responsibility than cooking one for a three year old as they’re judging your cooking skills on a different level.

Similarly even if adult laundry is little more effort than children’s laundry, it’s more responsibility- children’s clothes can generally be chucked in a wash together, but with adult clothes there’s more chance of inadvertently ruining an expensive silk shirt or something.

Just from chatting to nannies I know, it often seems to be the people who expect more ‘extras’ who are then most fussy and demanding about it. If you’re super chilled out about your nanny rustling up a bog standard fish pie for a family meal, they’re probably not going to mind too much doing it on occasion as part of usual give-and-take. But if you start getting picky about producing chef-level catering it’s a different matter.

Our nanny nearly always emptied the dishwasher in the morning, but I can hand-on-heart say that was the only ‘extra’ thing we ever expected of her.

Yeah definitely not picky. I tell nanny what to make and how anyways. Then chuck in a few extras if needed. Didn't think it was a big deal. Was just wanting to see the general opinion on MN on this out of curiosity. We kind of cook together and she keeps an eye on it while I work to be honest, to make sure it doesn't burn etc ( while DD is sleeping ). Takes 30 minutes of her time at most. The rest of the time DD naps, she's chilling reading her book or having a cup of tea.

But yeah, I'm probably extremely out of order I guess! For even daring to be involved in the cooking process, I'm sure I'll get slated by you all for ' hovering ' and ' interfering '.

No. Kids only.
You need a housekeeper .

@Ilovenutellaaaaa

Op it sounds like you need to hire either a housekeeper to do the other stuff while your nanny does the child related stuff....or ...hire a nanny housekeeper, where they would do the childcare and the house work, cooking, cleaning etc

Maybe you could renegotiate your nanny's contract and ask if she would be willing to work as a nanny housekeeper ?( If she says yes, you would have to pay her extra for her additional duties and draw up a new contract clearly listing what her new work tasks are

This is absolutely ridiculous. She doesn't even do my child's laundry. I occasionally ask her to Chuck in a bit of extra food when she cooks (she doesn't even cook every day).

I’ve just summarised this thread for my nanny while we were having lunch (yes, I feed her - see yesterday’s nanny thread!) and she said she can’t see how any nanny that is used to dealing with potty training and resulting accidents in pants can get precious about doing adults laundry- I think she has a point..!

I agree that deliberately leaving weekend washing up for a nanny or cleaner is downright rude and grimy.

Our nanny makes things like fish pie, pasta bake, chicken stir fry, sometimes a mild veggie curry with rice.

She likes to have a recipe and those are all for 4 or so portions. Whatever she doesn't serve up for the kids goes in the fridge and then we have it for supper later or I put in containers to freeze for the nights the kids have activities late in the day and she doesn't have time to cook.

She'd be welcome to eat too but she is vegan so usually doesn't.

Kind of depends what is cooked I suppose. I wouldn't want to reheat fish fingers if they were having those, but happy to have a portion of home made pasta bake.

@GappyValley

Our nanny does it all the time. A big batch of bolognaise, shepherds pie etc Something that we can all eat, even if we don't eat the same time.

But she also thinks nothing of putting our washing on when she needs to fill the machine when doing DCs laundry, so isn't one of those sorts

If a nanny wants to be totally by the book and only cook a child-sized portion of something when it would take the same time and effort to make enough for 4, it would be the start of the end for me of that relationship

Ok you’d expect to exploit your employee then?

Laundry - only if I ask (no point doing a half load) and d/w we do, but sometimes she runs it if she sees it is full.

Really? A nanny would be fine with dealing with their bosses underwear so skids, blood etc ? I think that's a bit different to dealing with a baby's nappy.

Just me ?

@LemonSherbetFancies

Really? A nanny would be fine with dealing with their bosses underwear so skids, blood etc ? I think that's a bit different to dealing with a baby's nappy.

Just me ?

Maybe the adults in your household should stop shitting themselves and learn to use sanitary protection, and then there wouldn’t be shitty and bloody underwear

I don’t think an adult in my house has left shit or blood in their underwear but we have taken the very radical approach of learning to wipe our arses
We are also passing down these strange and u unusual skills to our DC

Do people REALLY shit themselves as a regular occurrence? I had absolutely no idea this was considered normal

I am a bit surprised that in this day and age, nanny contracts are not sorted out at job advert, interview and employment stage.
Saves all sorts of agro afterwards, from both sides.

Hire a housekeeper or cook if you want someone to make your meals. Where does it end for her? Are you going to ask her to clean the house too?

@Alwaystheplusone

Hire a housekeeper or cook if you want someone to make your meals. Where does it end for her? Are you going to ask her to clean the house too?

Get a life

@Alwaystheplusone

Hire a housekeeper or cook if you want someone to make your meals. Where does it end for her? Are you going to ask her to clean the house too?

Have you not read exactly what she does ? I posted it twice

Unless the DC is/are all of school age and the cooking for adults part of the job was clear in the job ad, I think asking a nanny to cook for the whole family regularly is unreasonable.

@Dozer

Unless the DC is/are all of school age and the cooking for adults part of the job was clear in the job ad, I think asking a nanny to cook for the whole family regularly is unreasonable.

Was part of the job description !!!

It does depend on what you ask at the outset and what you know about her now. My last nanny did the kids laundry and emptied the dishwasher and stacked it if she saw it needed it. She was very practical and helpful and wouldn't not do it if it was needed. It's not a huge burden. But as my DC grew up I stopped her cooking altogether as I would do it later when I got home. Family mealtime was important to me.

I used to be a nanny and loved cooking, I always used to cook one big meal a few times a week and a cake on Friday!

It just depended on what after school clubs, play dates we had.... Mondays Wednesday and Friday I'd cook a big meal for everyone.. the parents used to eat when they got home . So we didn't eat all together.

Usually shepherds pie, pasta bake, sausages mash, lasagne

But I love cooking 😀

@Tangledtresses

I quite look forward to a rainy afternoon, because there is a 50:50 chance our nanny will do some baking with DC, which means brownies or flapjacks for me!

[quote GappyValley]@Tangledtresses

I quite look forward to a rainy afternoon, because there is a 50:50 chance our nanny will do some baking with DC, which means brownies or flapjacks for me![/quote]
Exactly! The dad would always ask what I wanted from the supermarket for the week.... it's a basically how i learnt to cook... my children do appreciate this 😀😀