BIL in bedrooms

[Unknown187]

We had FIL, BIL and Niece (10) over today for lunch which doesn't happen that often

My DP told me earlier this evening once they had long gone that he found BIL and niece wondering around upstairs looking in the bedrooms

I'm not sure how I feel about this. I don't feel overly happy about it particularly as all of the doors were closed. BIL has once before looked around upstairs for no particular reason, this is why I left the door closed this time. We don't have anything to hide but even so it just feels unnecessary

Just wanted opinions really. It's not something I would do if I went to somebody else's house. It's a three bed house with one loo so if somebody wants the loo they do have to go upstairs but I'm not sure why they were both up there and looking around

Maybe I'm just overthinking it, just wondered how other's would feel

We did the whole tour of our new house thing with friends when we moved into our first place. All very exciting. Wouldn't do it again, I think.

I don't like people in my room, and don't expect my children to have an open door policy, either. Having a sense of sanctuary/privacy/boundaries is important.

My mother used to delight in judging my messy house. Once, before a visit, I tidied it really well, entirely up to her standards, except for my bedroom. Of course she looked in there and proceeded to tut at me.

Check your laundry basket for missing items

@VeganVeal

Check your laundry basket for missing items

🤮

@DDIJ

I would feel my privacy violated by that. My mother has zero boundaries where I am concerned and if she ever came to my house she would not just be in bedrooms but in drawers as well. She also goes through handbags and school bags. If she found any medication she would be straight on the phone to her cousin the nurse to find out what it was and then ringing round telling everyone. None of us will go to the doctor now unless there is something very worrying. Her thoughts are that people with nothing to hide, hide nothing and therefore I am guilty of something. I don't have anything to hide but I don't like it and I stopped allowing her over the threshold as a result. I also threw out any old photos I had from school and university before I stopped her.

I think there is something seriously wrong with people like this.

Yes is is the sibling plus partner's home and he should not be roaming around in this fashion, no matter how close a family they are.

This is very easy to fix by no longer having her in your home. Or your life!

I feel your pain OP. We have a stair gate at the bottom of the stairs to keep the dogs downstairs and a downstairs toilet. SIL still seems to think it necessary to go upstairs & invents reasons for this. I just see a nosy cow.

@NoNobramma

You mr brother in law is your husbands brother? I think it’s weird that family members can’t see into your bedrooms tbh and you’d actually shut the doors. I can’t imagine not being welcome in my sisters house. When you have kids they often wander into a room and you need to pop in to fetch them... hasn’t that happened over the years? Maybe I’m just nosey but I know what most of my friends rooms look like in their houses. And I wouldn’t mind if someone wanted a little look Into the rooms.

You're the exception to the rule.

Bedrooms are private spaces, off limits unless invited. I don't understand this modern phenomenon of children being allowed to wander where ever they like

@UneAstuce

I'm laughing at the idea of people giving visitors a tour of their house - who on earth does this 😂😂😂

It's a very 'British' thing, I'm bemused by it. Happened to me more than once with collegues. Trust me, I have no desire to see your attic

It's a very 'British' thing, I'm bemused by it

It really isn't.