This man was rude or am I being an idiot

[Queenie6655]

So walking out of shop today with my 3 year old DD a man was walking close behind us
It was a narrow walkway so we both sped up as he was indicating he wanted to get by
As he rushed past us my DD fell and everything in her hands fell onto the ground
She hurt her hand and knee
He stood watching
I had to drop everything in my hand to help her up
Everything was on the ground
He got in his car
Sat watching us
I rushed her to my car to get her comfy
Ran back to the pavement to gather up everything (shopping - fruit , veg, etc)
He sits in car still staring
So I stop and look over at him And threw my hands in the air
He prob thinks I'm bonkers
He's an idiot
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ugh 🤦🏼‍♀️

Standing staring at her as she saw to her child. Sitting in his car and staring when she emerged with kid. Staring at she got kid sorted and went back down alley for shopping. Still sitting there and staring at her when she came back.

Dunno about you but in general when random men stare at me silently for lengths of time while I'm going about my business I find it quite unsettling.

I think a lot of people do tbh.

I understand that for many on this thread this is normal, not a problem, or most likely a sign he was feeling guilty etc etc

I thought it was odd

Non- event as many of you say
And maybe my fault

I'm just glad I have good manners
Never ever would I not stop and say is she ok

He sounds like a complete a*se not to apologise and offer to help pick up your shopping.

@BakedTattie

Why didn’t you just ignore him?

I’m struggling to see what he actually did that makes him an arse? Walking faster than you?!

OP said she was flustered.

Walking faster than the person directly ahead of you is rude...because there is someone in front of you. It's rude to be that oblivious to the other people around you.

The part about him sitting and watching for such a prolonged time after his initial rudeness is what stood out to me the most...it is definitely not a 'non issue' as another poster said and if OP was bothered by it and wanted to vent, it's completely understandable.

I used to work at a supermarket that did collections from the car park. I was wheeling out a small sized trolley that had bottled water placed at the end (with other shopping too). I went down a dip as I was approaching the car and the whole thing flipped. The customer stood next to his car and watched me pick the whole lot up on my own. A very typical shopper at a supermarket that has a royal warrant.

I'm confused what you're annoyed about and why he's in the wrong? You rushed and your daughter fell over (didn't break any bones and is a toddler so surely falls over a lot)

My husband and I would definitely both have stopped to check she was OK, and helped you pick things up, covid times or not. He was rude.

@JellyTumble

Why didn’t you just stop and let him pass you instead of rushing a wobbly toddler and then blaming him for her falling over?

*It was a teeny walk way with no room to let him past Hence why we walked faster to get to a wide section to let him past*

RTFT

@peppermintpat

I used to work at a supermarket that did collections from the car park. I was wheeling out a small sized trolley that had bottled water placed at the end (with other shopping too). I went down a dip as I was approaching the car and the whole thing flipped. The customer stood next to his car and watched me pick the whole lot up on my own. A very typical shopper at a supermarket that has a royal warrant.

To be fair, they were collecting from the car park because they wanted to social distance? Why would they rush over and get in your space?

Something similar happened to a neighbour in Balham. She was really hurt and bleeding and 2 folk just stood and stared at her.

You are NBU

Total arse, take as long as you need to next time. Hope your DD didn’t hurt herself too much. That guy is a k nob.

I wouldn’t stop and see if a fallen 3 year old with a parent was ok and I have a 3 year old myself! They fall over all the time, at most it’s a skinned knee and all they need is a hug from whoever is with them. Am I heartless?

I’m shocked at some of the responses OP, he sounds incredibly rude and weird, why stare? You do rush if someone is hounding you but to not offer help is mean/ rude or ask if she’s ok. He was rude, you were not!

Top many assholes in this world! X

If someone wants to get past they can use 5heir manners and ask to come past. Otherwise I'm inclined to stop dead and have to check for something in my bag.

Thing is him not stopping to ask if you are ok is not particularly friendly but some people aren't. His stepping in your heels practically to get past bad then sitting in his car staring is just bloody weird.

@Queenie6655

Didn't expect help from him It should have been clear to him that we rushed to let him by as he was on our heels So why not even say - is she ok Why sit and stare ?

Anyway

I have manners no way would I a) walk too close to someone like that
And
B) not see if Someone's ok after a fall

Thanks all🙏🙏🙏🙏

Does on your heels mean closer than 2m?

Maybe he sat and stared because he wanted to do something but Covid prevents this. I have hesitated a few times now and not helped in similar situations, where pre Covid, I'd be there to assist in a flash. Maybe he was pondering this in the car. Maybe he is shy or has low esteem, is anxious, has a learning difficulty etc etc etc.... Who knows. Men interacting where children are concerned make a few men nervous these days.

There are so many options but you and only you decide how you feel and respond in these situations. I actually stop and let people pass me and face completely the opposite way if someone has to pass. This keeps it as safe as it can be.

Maybe he was just an entitled twat.

I'm sorry but I would not be rushing to help or handle anyone else's stuff, especially food these days. Your perceptions of what happened makes him sound rude but I don't necessarily this he was. Covid has made people very cautious and our behaviour has changed, not always for the better.

*think

'Not many people have asked if I'm ok'

[quote QueenAdreena]@IfNot

Like you, a number of my family are non NT. I don’t do a disservice to them however, as I know that, just as an example, my two children who are diagnosed ASD do invade others personal space, often have to be reminded to let people have that personal space back and would definitely stand and stare whilst trying to process what had gone wrong in a situation like that. They’re children and have the benefit of having an adult there to help them with social interactions. But my adult brother would probably do the same but wouldn’t have an adult with him and would probably also be assumed to be a weirdo or rude. You are the one who does a disservice to non NT people by assuming that they would/should all respond in the same way as the non NT people in your family. It doesn’t make them ‘just arseholes’ if they don’t.

This man may be completely NT, but it’s always worth considering that people might not be before jumping to conclusions about their behaviour.[/quote]
This.

Blimey OP, I bet you wished you'd never asked!
The man was an arse, he's probably a mumsnetter

He sounds like a knob!

Men interacting where children are concerned make a few men nervous these days.

I've seen comments like this from a few posters now, but I don't see it.
Offering help to someone = not weird.
Sitting and watching them struggle from your car = weird creepy behaviour.

Rude and unnecessary. Who knows why people act like this. 'Covid times' is a shit excuse. He could just apologise.