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AIBU?

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Original poster

This man was rude or am I being an idiot

317 replies

Queenie6655 · 22/05/2021 20:05

So walking out of shop today with my 3 year old DD a man was walking close behind us
It was a narrow walkway so we both sped up as he was indicating he wanted to get by
As he rushed past us my DD fell and everything in her hands fell onto the ground
She hurt her hand and knee
He stood watching
I had to drop everything in my hand to help her up
Everything was on the ground
He got in his car
Sat watching us
I rushed her to my car to get her comfy
Ran back to the pavement to gather up everything (shopping - fruit , veg, etc)
He sits in car still staring
So I stop and look over at him And threw my hands in the air
He prob thinks I'm bonkers
He's an idiot
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ugh 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
sazza76 · 24/05/2021 07:52

You don’t know anything about him though, there could have been a reason for his behaviour. He could have a disability or a mental health condition, he could be on the Autistic Spectrum or could have been having a really bad day. He didn’t actually do anything wrong, I think you’re overthinging it!

Bertiebiscuit · 24/05/2021 09:08

He was a typical arrogant male arse - I would have shouted some very unladylike things at him and made some very rude hand gestures

Willowandrose · 24/05/2021 09:28

As a child I would have been made to wait patiently to let the elder person past, no matter how long it took.

Tam20779 · 24/05/2021 09:56

@savethatkitty01

You're being a bit precious
How dare you! It is not “precious” to feel threatened by a man walking far too close behind when it’s just you and your small child. Next time you are out walking and you have to go down a narrow walkway that’s just big enough for one person to get down, and a man comes up behind you and YOU feel threatened by it, would you be “precious”???? It’s a really pity that women don’t feel safe while out walking and the OP doesn’t need people like you to completely disregard her feelings of discomfort. That sort of attitude is disgusting.
Thatisnotwhatisaid · 24/05/2021 10:02

You should have moved to one side to let him pass.

I have a toddler so well aware of how slow they walk and have the self awareness to let people behind past. Even if someone isn’t in a rush, it’s kind of annoying as a fully grown adult to be stuck walking at snails pace behind someone else’s toddler. I do the school run with my toddler and baby in a pushchair because it’s quite a distance away and there’s one woman who takes her toddler on a balance bike. She has absolutely zilch self awareness and regularly leaves queues of people behind her, we can’t go around her because the pavements are too narrow and none of us really want to risk walking in the often quite busy road to go around her. She usually just walks behind him on her phone and doesn’t seem to care that she’s holding people up, it’s really selfish and bloody irritating.

I don’t think this man did anything wrong, I don’t think I’d offer to pick someone else’s child up off the floor either and I’m a Mum!

rwalker · 24/05/2021 10:14

@Bertiebiscuit
He was a typical arrogant male arse

That isn't gender stereotyping at all .

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 24/05/2021 10:15

I don't get all the excuses people are giving for him.
He didn't stop or help because he was socially distancing... No he was coming up behind them and then rushed past so quickly they fell over He clearly didn't give a monkeys about social distancing.

He didn't say excuse me or are you alright because he was afraid of his motives being misunderstood.
He was short on time - no he sat in his car staring at them.
He had some kind of mental or physical condition which accounts for his behaviour.
Rightly or wrongly the OP felt intimidated by him and thought he could have waited a few moments to get to a space where it was safe for him to overtake and was then unnerved by his silent staring and as a previous pp said, she wanted to vent.
Sometimes talking about situations like these helps to define better ways to deal with future incidents.
It reminds me of past motoring situations where an impatient driver hassles you to speed up over the limit or tries to overtake on the inside to get past and shortly afterwards you are pulling up behind them at a traffic light or roundabout so all the stressing to get ahead was pointless. It's intimidating and rude usually.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 24/05/2021 10:19

She has absolutely zilch self awareness and regularly leaves queues of people behind her, we can’t go around her because the pavements are too narrow and none of us really want to risk walking in the often quite busy road to go around her. She usually just walks behind him on her phone and doesn’t seem to care that she’s holding people up

The OP said she was very aware the man wanted to overtake and was trying to speed up to get to a wider space ahead where the man could overtake more easily.

Zig27 · 24/05/2021 10:35

Some people are impatient these days and won’t wait for anyone. A bit creepy he kept staring. Don’t let anyone pressure you again to rush as your child fell over which wasn’t worth it.

Original poster
Queenie6655 · 24/05/2021 10:40

@DuckbilledSplatterPuff

I don't get all the excuses people are giving for him. He didn't stop or help because he was socially distancing... No he was coming up behind them and then rushed past so quickly they fell over He clearly didn't give a monkeys about social distancing. He didn't say excuse me or are you alright because he was afraid of his motives being misunderstood. He was short on time - no he sat in his car staring at them. He had some kind of mental or physical condition which accounts for his behaviour. Rightly or wrongly the OP felt intimidated by him and thought he could have waited a few moments to get to a space where it was safe for him to overtake and was then unnerved by his silent staring and as a previous pp said, she wanted to vent. Sometimes talking about situations like these helps to define better ways to deal with future incidents. It reminds me of past motoring situations where an impatient driver hassles you to speed up over the limit or tries to overtake on the inside to get past and shortly afterwards you are pulling up behind them at a traffic light or roundabout so all the stressing to get ahead was pointless. It's intimidating and rude usually.
Very true

Hence why I posted

Kept thinking what will I do differently next time?

OP posts:
trixies · 24/05/2021 11:06

@MaMaD1990

If it were me and he was standing that close I'd of been asking your child very loudly "hurry darling, you know after the positive test result we shouldn't be out - don't cough"...but that's just my warped sense of humour.
Yes, pandemics are hilarious. Hmm
GreyhoundG1rl · 24/05/2021 11:12

How dare you! It is not “precious” to feel threatened by a man walking far too close behind when it’s just you and your small child. Next time you are out walking and you have to go down a narrow walkway that’s just big enough for one person to get down, and a man comes up behind you and YOU feel threatened by it, would you be “precious”???? It’s a really pity that women don’t feel safe while out walking and the OP doesn’t need people like you to completely disregard her feelings of discomfort. That sort of attitude is disgusting.
Yet op has made no mention of feeling threatened or unsafe, just that she felt the need to manhandle her dd out of his way to let him past.

AdobeWanKenobi · 24/05/2021 11:26

manhandle her dd

Oh stop it. 😂

PommieCheeks75 · 24/05/2021 12:45

Why are you blaming a stranger for your child falling over?
Seriously, the world does not revolve around you.

Gilly12345 · 24/05/2021 14:27

Move on and enjoy life, you have way toooo much time on your hands to dwell on such trivial stuff.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 24/05/2021 15:07

"We've had over a year of social distancing drummed into us!
We've had hysteria over someone even looking like they are millimetres off of 2 metres.

Are you saying it's all OK now? 🙄

The guy would've been damned if he'd helped, and now damned because he didn't 🥴"

If he was worried about social distancing then he wouldn't have been steeping at someone else's heels would he 🥴

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 24/05/2021 15:10

@BackforGood

Crazycrazylady

Why on earth did you post op if you've 100% sure yanbu??

Maybe she was upset and wanted to vent/wanted some sympathy? Or she was feeling flustered at first, and upon further thought realised there was no doubt he'd been an arse?
Posters don't have to accept everything being said to them..even on AIBU 🤷‍♀️

It literally IS the point of this section of the board - to ask if "the population at large" think if the person who asks the question is being unreasonable.

Yes but she's not obliged to agreed with them is she. She wrote in AIBU, doesn't mean she's forfeited her right to form her own opinion on the matter.
Notadramallama · 24/05/2021 15:35

I'm a child free woman. If I saw a small child fall over with its mother then I wouldn't say or do anything once I saw it wasn't seriously hurt. If I someone fall over on their own, then I absolutely would.

anon12345678901 · 24/05/2021 15:40

People saying that no one would complain because of Covid if he had helped are actually incorrect, some people would complain. I had a child fall over a few months ago, in front of me, I went to help the child up and the mum shouted Covid at me. I was masked up but clearly she still felt worried. So tbf I don't know if I'd help another child if their parent was around if it happened again.

skirk64 · 24/05/2021 15:41

He was right, the OP was wrong. If someone is in a hurry just move out of the way and let them pass. The fact they sped up led directly to the child falling over.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 24/05/2021 17:00

@skirk64

He was right, the OP was wrong. If someone is in a hurry just move out of the way and let them pass. The fact they sped up led directly to the child falling over.
If someone is in a hurry (even if he's in a hurry to sit in his car and watch a woman struggling Confused) then they should say "excuse me please". Not walk right up behind them.
GoldenOmber · 24/05/2021 17:17

@skirk64

He was right, the OP was wrong. If someone is in a hurry just move out of the way and let them pass. The fact they sped up led directly to the child falling over.
But the speeding up WAS the moving out of the way? She was on a narrow walkway and sped up to get to a wider bit where he could pass.
GreyhoundG1rl · 24/05/2021 17:39

Might have been easier to just walk in single file until the man had passed by, rather than rushing on ahead?
That's not generally how people get out of other people's way, even when they feel the necessity to do so.

GoldenOmber · 24/05/2021 17:58

@GreyhoundG1rl

Might have been easier to just walk in single file until the man had passed by, rather than rushing on ahead? That's not generally how people get out of other people's way, even when they feel the necessity to do so.
The OP does say that it was a “teeny walk way with no room to let him past Hence why we walked faster to get to a wide section to let him past”, so I would presume that’s probably true?
GreyhoundG1rl · 24/05/2021 18:03

How would walking single file not have solved that?

I can't believe that the entrance / exit from a shopping centre is designed for one person at a time, with no room for a second person to pass.

There was room; the toddler was walking in it.

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