This man was rude or am I being an idiot

[Queenie6655]

So walking out of shop today with my 3 year old DD a man was walking close behind us
It was a narrow walkway so we both sped up as he was indicating he wanted to get by
As he rushed past us my DD fell and everything in her hands fell onto the ground
She hurt her hand and knee
He stood watching
I had to drop everything in my hand to help her up
Everything was on the ground
He got in his car
Sat watching us
I rushed her to my car to get her comfy
Ran back to the pavement to gather up everything (shopping - fruit , veg, etc)
He sits in car still staring
So I stop and look over at him And threw my hands in the air
He prob thinks I'm bonkers
He's an idiot
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ugh 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yabu op. Sounds like you were in the wrong.

Just to offer another point of view - many men I work with are in the spectrum and do not know how to react in situations which would seem natural to many of us such as asking if a child is ok. When you add the Covid factors around social distancing and not touching people’s things it becomes an even bigger minefield. The reason he sat in his car staring might be that he felt he was watching your stuff whilst you were sorting your daughter out? Obviously none of us know what he was thinking or not thinking or what happened. I always try and believe the least annoying possibility and give people the benefit of the doubt.
I hope your daughter was ok

Why on earth did you post op if you've 100% sure yanbu??

@Crazycrazylady

Why on earth did you post op if you've 100% sure yanbu??

Maybe she was upset and wanted to vent/wanted some sympathy? Or she was feeling flustered at first, and upon further thought realised there was no doubt he'd been an arse? Posters don't have to accept everything being said to them..even on AIBU 🤷‍♀️

He is a twat. Covid or not I would have asked if you needed help at least and not sat there watching. If he was in such a rush that he needed to get past then he didn't have time to watch you struggle. It's the watching part that gets me - that's just weird and twatish.

@IfNot

You shouldn't have rushed her. I'm confused as to why you tried to hurry her out of his way in case he got too close, then bemoan the fact that he didn't stay to help pick up your shopping

Oh FFS. Sometimes men people can walk TO CLOSE behind you and make you feel pressured and you panic a bit.
I can't BELIEVE anyone is excusing this twat "because social distancing".
No. He intimidated a woman with a small child and then sat and stared when the toddler fell over. He's a creep and YANBU OP.

We've had over a year of social distancing drummed into us! We've had hysteria over someone even looking like they are millimetres off of 2 metres.

Are you saying it's all OK now? 🙄

The guy would've been damned if he'd helped, and now damned because he didn't 🥴

@Queenie6655

If you're absolutely sure he was an are why are you asking us for our opinions?

Why didnt you stop and let him pass? Totally your fault !

[quote Harmonypuss]@Queenie6655

If you're absolutely sure he was an are why are you asking us for our opinions?[/quote]
Because lots of people agree with OP he was an arse puss

@Harls1969

Blimey OP, I bet you wished you'd never asked! The man was an arse, he's probably a mumsnetter

Ha ha lesson learned

Turns out I was in the wrong clearly 🤣🤣🤣

Thanks all

Of course the guy behaved like an arse. Who are all the ppl on here blaming the OP,

Crazycrazylady

Why on earth did you post op if you've 100% sure yanbu??

Maybe she was upset and wanted to vent/wanted some sympathy? Or she was feeling flustered at first, and upon further thought realised there was no doubt he'd been an arse?
Posters don't have to accept everything being said to them..even on AIBU 🤷‍♀️

It literally IS the point of this section of the board - to ask if "the population at large" think if the person who asks the question is being unreasonable.

I wouldn’t personally have watched I saw you push your child on the floor accidentally so I could get past, but I definitely wouldn’t be so entitled to expect someone to come over and help if that had happened to me. Especially not in Covid.
I think there are a few take away points.

1. If someone makes you feel uncomfortable, tell them to back off!
2. Maybe not a great idea to rush your kid if they have things in their hands
3. Maybe not a good idea to take up a whole narrow walkway with your kid toddling around
4. It’s probably not worth asking other people for advice if you arnt open to hear it.

OP nope-

His behaviour around the staring and the waiting was intimidating.

I can't believe how many women are ok with men staring at them for ages. I've always found it intimidating.

I'm sure in real life most people do!

I can't believe how many women are ok with men staring at them for ages. I've always found it intimidating.
You have absolutely no idea of the timeline here.

I would have gone at the pace of my child and told him to back off if he got too close. But that’s just me.

@MaryBoBary

This is just a bizarre post. He wasn't in the wrong.

Yes YABU for being annoyed at him for doing nothing wrong.

But she is NBU to feel threatened by a man walking too close behind her.

Yanbu. No need for so many posters to (a) be rude (“indulging your toddler” by letting her walk along ffs) or (b) making excuses for the guy (“maybe he was not NT”, mmmm sure or could just be a rude arse).

Plus being all Covid sanctimonious, oh and paedophiles too.

God. Did anyone mention German dictators from the 1930s yet???

Very rude hope Dd is ok op. Yanbu

@JellyTumble

What did you want him to do? In covid times he isn’t going to offer to help.

He shouldn’t have stared, or pushed past if indeed he did that.

Yes he was rude! He still should have helped. The hell with "the covid" He wouldn't have got sick. People suck these days.

A normal reaction (and for me an instinctive one) would be to say something like whoops oh no is she ok?

Not stop (he wasn't in a hurry?) and stare in silence.

Then go and sit in car. Stare while she sorts kid out. She goes back for shopping. Staring when she comes back again...

I cannot understand why so many posters don't see that as odd at least. I'd find it intimidating.

Greyhound-

'She hurt her hand and knee
He stood watching
I had to drop everything in my hand to help her up
Everything was on the ground
He got in his car
Sat watching us
I rushed her to my car to get her comfy
Ran back to the pavement to gather up everything (shopping - fruit , veg, etc)
He sits in car still staring'

How long staring is ok for you?

He sounds very creepy. Glad you're ok

You're being a bit precious

I've had this in the past and I've stopped and asked them to back off.
Most of the time the response has been fine, only once has someone got in my face about it and that was a man. In that instance he pushed passed me while I was standing on an escalator and there wasn't any room for him to safely pass, but apparently I should have walked up the escalator instead of standing on it as the safety instructions tell you to. Told him to take the stairs next time if he didn't want to use it safely.