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Original poster

This man was rude or am I being an idiot

317 replies

Queenie6655 · 22/05/2021 20:05

So walking out of shop today with my 3 year old DD a man was walking close behind us
It was a narrow walkway so we both sped up as he was indicating he wanted to get by
As he rushed past us my DD fell and everything in her hands fell onto the ground
She hurt her hand and knee
He stood watching
I had to drop everything in my hand to help her up
Everything was on the ground
He got in his car
Sat watching us
I rushed her to my car to get her comfy
Ran back to the pavement to gather up everything (shopping - fruit , veg, etc)
He sits in car still staring
So I stop and look over at him And threw my hands in the air
He prob thinks I'm bonkers
He's an idiot
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ugh 🤦🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Holly60 · 23/05/2021 12:36

@Queenie6655

Thanks all Some very interesting responses

I thought I did the right thing
I prob should have turned around and explained we can't go any after
Was flusterered and I know feel really bad about it all

No way would I ever watch someone fall and not even spend two seconds saying 'are you ok'

Never

But that's life
Lesson learned

Next time if someone is trying to rush you, take a deep breath and IGNORE. I do Grin
HoldingTheDoor · 23/05/2021 12:38

There was no toddler. Three year olds aren't toddlers.

You shouldn't have rushed her, though I would have stepped aside and let him pass, if it was going to take some time, (If he'd said excuse me) and he was an arse for barging past and not saying Excuse me.

NearlyAlwaysInsane · 23/05/2021 12:46

He was not an arse, he was just conforming to what a lot of people do these days - scared to interact with anyone.

There is also the shaming issue, and especially by women. The other day I offered to help someone who had a pushchair and a baby carrier, and had ordered two coffees and was struggling to get to her table. I was told in a breathless but loud way that 'I will be just fine thank you!', and felt ashamed.

Almost 20 years ago I had a cycling accident and sustained an injury which could have been fatal. This happened in front of a busy bus stop. I still remember lying on the ground in pain and shock, and everyone staring - the woman at the front of the queue just stared with this cold, fish-eyed look. Like nobody cared. And nobody moved a finger to help.

Unfortunately I think this kind of stuff is increasingly common.

Mandsy100 · 23/05/2021 12:48

He wasn't rude. He was actually sensible to not help as it is covid times. I'm a woman and I wouldn't help so nothing to do with him being a man. And also why would he now stop and block the way by all you of you bending over. how much of stuff did you have and what was your dd carrying? Sounds like you overdramatized a bit here.

CharlotteRose90 · 23/05/2021 12:49

Next time don’t rush . Stand to the side if needed. I think he was staying close to make sure everything was ok as presumably he saw your little one fall. He wasn’t being nosey in my eyes but caring. My brother would do the exact same thing, he wouldn’t say anything as he’s shy but he would stay close incase you needed an ambulance or something

RRK593 · 23/05/2021 12:50

Personally I would have helped you - but I would have no expectations at all if I was in your situation for someone to do the same to me.

I also would have either moved aside or kept to my 3 year olds pace, perhaps even called the man out on it "sorry are you in a rush? She only has little legs"

mainsfed · 23/05/2021 12:51

@CharlotteRose90

Next time don’t rush . Stand to the side if needed. I think he was staying close to make sure everything was ok as presumably he saw your little one fall. He wasn’t being nosey in my eyes but caring. My brother would do the exact same thing, he wouldn’t say anything as he’s shy but he would stay close incase you needed an ambulance or something
This is getting hilarious now. You really are reaching that he was trying to help her and that why he was right behind her 🙄
CharlotteRose90 · 23/05/2021 13:14

@mainsfed no OP said he was watching from the car. That’s why I said maybe he was watching to make sure everything’s ok. But fine you make out like he’s a stalker that’s what’s hilarious. Either way it’s not his fault.

Bluntness100 · 23/05/2021 13:17

Op do you generally think people are rude if they don’t do or react as you personally wish? This mans rude, the posters are rude. Meanwhile you’re there one hurling abuse.

IhaveMyMoments · 23/05/2021 13:20

I would of either stopped so he could pass or he could step off the walkway to get past or wait!
Making child speed up generally will make them trip of out of comfort zone..
My dd always trips if I'm rushing her.!

QueenAdreena · 23/05/2021 13:21

@mainsfed bit rich to accuse @CharlotteRose90 of reaching when you said that the man knocked the child over, which wasn’t what the OP said.

rwalker · 23/05/2021 13:48

He got past anyway so there clearly was room to past so the fact you chose to speed up was down to you .

Billandben444 · 23/05/2021 14:44

What would you have done with your child if someone was coming the other way?

NiceGerbil · 23/05/2021 15:05

Gawd and still it goes on.

The man's behaviour afterwards was strange and intimidating.

And showed he was in no hurry.

But yeah let's all ignore that because it was definitely OPs fault.

MaMaD1990 · 23/05/2021 15:29

If it were me and he was standing that close I'd of been asking your child very loudly "hurry darling, you know after the positive test result we shouldn't be out - don't cough"...but that's just my warped sense of humour.

DeadlyMedally · 23/05/2021 15:33

I wouldn't think to "help" another person's child who fell over next to their parent, unless I'd caused it.
I think men are generally more reluctant to get involved with other people's children too.

NiceGerbil · 23/05/2021 15:40

I would either ignore or for me I'd automatically say are they ok etc

I'd not just stand there silently staring.

For me I'd have offered to carry the shopping so she didn't have to sort the kid and then go back for the shopping.

But on this thread most people are determined the man's behaviour was perfectly normal and she was outrageous so I can see my reactions are out of line.

Fortunately not where I live in real life where most people are not prone to staring silently at women who are trying to deal with xzy situation.

GreyhoundG1rl · 23/05/2021 15:50

@rwalker

He got past anyway so there clearly was room to past so the fact you chose to speed up was down to you .
This. And yet the rewriting of the whole sorry tale goes on Grin
BlaBlaSmthSmth · 23/05/2021 16:33

@WorraLiberty

I agree he was a bit rude

But I also agree with PP's that you're probably more annoyed with yourself for not just letting him pass. That in itself is a bit rude really, not to just stand aside with your toddler if the walkway was that narrow.

"That in itself is a bit rude really, not to just stand aside with your toddler if the walkway was that narrow."

No it's not rude, he was behind and she was perfectly entitled to walk there with her child. Rude is walking on someone's heels to get them to move faster. Just say "excuse me" if you're that impatient.

NewMatress · 23/05/2021 16:36

Imagine if he'd tried to help. "Strange man touched DD, possible paedophile and Covid transmittor"

GreyhoundG1rl · 23/05/2021 16:39

No it's not rude, he was behind and she was perfectly entitled to walk there with her child. Rude is walking on someone's heels to get them to move faster. Just say "excuse me" if you're that impatient.
There was space to get by, as evidenced by him... getting by.
Op caused the incident by fussing her child when there was no need.

It's a non story.

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 23/05/2021 16:42

@MaryBoBary

This is just a bizarre post. He wasn't in the wrong.

Yes YABU for being annoyed at him for doing nothing wrong.

He was wrong for stepping at their heels to try and force them to go faster, that was very rude. And he was rude (and weird) for sitting and staring while OP struggled. Of course OP felt uncomfortable and is feeling annoyed about it .
Sarcobaleno · 23/05/2021 16:54

This is the biggest non-event ever discussed on Mumsnet

BlaBlaSmthSmth · 23/05/2021 16:54

@GreyhoundG1rl

No it's not rude, he was behind and she was perfectly entitled to walk there with her child. Rude is walking on someone's heels to get them to move faster. Just say "excuse me" if you're that impatient. There was space to get by, as evidenced by him... getting by. Op caused the incident by fussing her child when there was no need. It's a non story.
OP said the man passed once they got to a wider section of the path. It's rude to walk at somebody's heels in an attempt to rush someone. I can't believe it needs saying TBH
BakedTattie · 23/05/2021 17:10

Why didn’t you just ignore him?

I’m struggling to see what he actually did that makes him an arse? Walking faster than you?!

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