This man was rude or am I being an idiot

[Queenie6655]

So walking out of shop today with my 3 year old DD a man was walking close behind us
It was a narrow walkway so we both sped up as he was indicating he wanted to get by
As he rushed past us my DD fell and everything in her hands fell onto the ground
She hurt her hand and knee
He stood watching
I had to drop everything in my hand to help her up
Everything was on the ground
He got in his car
Sat watching us
I rushed her to my car to get her comfy
Ran back to the pavement to gather up everything (shopping - fruit , veg, etc)
He sits in car still staring
So I stop and look over at him And threw my hands in the air
He prob thinks I'm bonkers
He's an idiot
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ugh 🤦🏼‍♀️

A world where neurological and developmental disorders exist? A world where some people are extremely shy/socially awkward? A world where not everyone responds to situations in the perfect way, but it doesn’t make them a bad, rude or nasty person
Oh please. Half my family are non neurotypical. None of them would tailgate a woman with a toddler, or stand and stare after the toddler fell/woman dropped her shopping. Some people are just arseholes and when you peg them as non NT you do a disservice to non NT people.

[quote Sunflowers095]@Queenie6655 you were rude and unreasonable. Surely it's common sense to pull up behind/in from of someone you're with if you're taking up the entire width of the path?

But instead you rushed your toddler and then blamed a stranger for her falling?[/quote]
*in front of

Why is he an arse? We don't know anything about him. He didn't actually do anything... apart from walk down a walkway.

Maybe he should've said something at the end but he probably didn't know whether she wanted him to or not.

@GirlCrush

Indulging by letting said kid carry shopping....

But the OP was carrying the shopping? I mean, how are you getting from the mention that the child had something in her hands to deciding this is a ridiculously indulgent mother who expects random strangers to say "aww isn't she adorable"? That's just weird.

I don't think this situation is really worth making that much of a fuss about, but then I just wouldn't have rushed out of his way in the first place so my children must be the most indulged little darlings ever to toddle.

This is just a bizarre post. He wasn't in the wrong.

Yes YABU for being annoyed at him for doing nothing wrong.

I am a bit paranoid so I would find the staring creepy and wouldn't have let my child alone in the car to go back and pick up stuff. I just would have picked up with her there.
But it is covid times so no I wouldn't have thought anyone would help you. If an adult fell over I would ask them if they are OK - but not a 3 year old with their mum there to help them.

He prob thinks I'm bonkers

Well then he's wrong- he should've helped you. I wouldn't even've thouught of COVID (and I'm quite covid-conscious.) Covid is not a major issue in most places in the UK at the mo anyway.

I wouldn'tve thought of it, I just would've automatically helped you pick up the items I mean. I suppose I might've asked if you wanted my help- then the person would've had the choice to refuse but known I actually gave a shit.

Well we moved faster to make way for him to get by

That is an odd thing to do. Why didn’t you stop and step as far as you could to the building side of the pavement? Moving faster is confusing- both to the person behind you and to you tiny DD. No wonder she fell over if you were dragging her faster rather than standing aside.

You didn’t have to do anything but I can see you were trying to be considerate. But it was an odd error of judgement frankly.

@GoldenOmber I’m ‘getting’ it from the op..... she says ‘everything in her hands fell’

@IfNot

Like you, a number of my family are non NT. I don’t do a disservice to them however, as I know that, just as an example, my two children who are diagnosed ASD do invade others personal space, often have to be reminded to let people have that personal space back and would definitely stand and stare whilst trying to process what had gone wrong in a situation like that. They’re children and have the benefit of having an adult there to help them with social interactions. But my adult brother would probably do the same but wouldn’t have an adult with him and would probably also be assumed to be a weirdo or rude. You are the one who does a disservice to non NT people by assuming that they would/should all respond in the same way as the non NT people in your family. It doesn’t make them ‘just arseholes’ if they don’t.

This man may be completely NT, but it’s always worth considering that people might not be before jumping to conclusions about their behaviour.

[quote GirlCrush]@GoldenOmber I’m ‘getting’ it from the op..... she says ‘everything in her hands fell’[/quote]
But the kid is 3, so why would you assume that 'everything in her hands' was bags of food shopping? As opposed to everything in the OP's hands, which she dropped to help the child up? You're inventing a scenario in your head and then getting cross about it.

(if however you are aware of a way to get 3-year-olds to carry bags of food shopping home, please let me know, that sounds useful.)

Crikey, some of these replies fuck me. A 3 year old waddling folk, what the heck. I would have helped you pick up your shopping op.
Mumsnet is honestly batshit sometimes.
Hope your little one's hands and knees aren't too sore.

Some posters... 🤣
Where the hell are you getting THAT from?!
Er... From op's post, actually
😂
Batshit.

It should have been clear to him that we rushed to let him by

I doubt he was a mind reader

@QueenAdreena I'm not NT and like to think I'm helpful and empathetic. While I know everyone with ASD is different, statistically it's far more likely this bloke was just a dickhead rather than having ASD.

@Queenie6655 Even if someone hadn't rushed to let me by, I would still help/offer to help someone who had dropped all their stuff.

@Sillawithans

Crikey, some of these replies fuck me. A 3 year old waddling folk, what the heck. I would have helped you pick up your shopping op. Mumsnet is honestly batshit sometimes. Hope your little one's hands and knees aren't too sore.

Thanks she is smiling now and a lolipop helped to distract her after it happened ❤️❤️

I hope you and dd are both ok

He sounds like an utter twat. He wouldn’t have done it to a man.

If it was DH or I behind you, we would have slowed down behind you so you didn’t feel the need to rush.

Next time walk at your own pace, maybe have DD walk in front on you so no one behind you can jostle her. There is no need to hurry for anyone, especially with a young dc.

I’m still so angry at the women who deliberately rammed a pushchair into the back of my mum’s legs because she wasn’t waking fast enough to suit them.

Some people are just cunts.

If someone falls near me, I always ask the person/or the parent if they're ok and if they need any help. Showing some compassion doesn't cost anything.

You've got no idea what caused this man's reaction. He might not be NT. He might have wanted to keep his distance for any number of reasons. You sound like you are taking this way too seriously too. I hope your daughter is ok.

He sounds like an impatient knob

Yabu. Its weird times at present. I am a naturally helpful person but some people don't want people touching their things so I dont always know what to do now.

You should have said to your toddler "Lets wait for the man to pass". Instead you rushed your toddler to the extent that they fell and made another person feel uncomfortable for just being there. This is all on you.

@me4real absolutely, he could have just been rude/an arsehole. Lots of people are. But I always appreciate it when people don’t assume that my children are just badly behaved because they behave differently or in a way that other people find strange/odd, so I always try to stop and do the same for others when they don’t behave in the way I’d expect. That’s just been my point all along; to just consider that it’s a possibility.

And for all those saying the man was impatient. Not everyone has time to walk at toddler pace and you can't expect everyone to slow down and smile indulgently. A toddler is delightful to some and very annoying to others who need to get on with their own day and dont have the time to walk exceptionally slowly