This man was rude or am I being an idiot

[Queenie6655]

So walking out of shop today with my 3 year old DD a man was walking close behind us
It was a narrow walkway so we both sped up as he was indicating he wanted to get by
As he rushed past us my DD fell and everything in her hands fell onto the ground
She hurt her hand and knee
He stood watching
I had to drop everything in my hand to help her up
Everything was on the ground
He got in his car
Sat watching us
I rushed her to my car to get her comfy
Ran back to the pavement to gather up everything (shopping - fruit , veg, etc)
He sits in car still staring
So I stop and look over at him And threw my hands in the air
He prob thinks I'm bonkers
He's an idiot
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ugh 🤦🏼‍♀️

Aw, good, those grazes on their hands and knees can burn like a mother......

@Cheeseandlobster

And for all those saying the man was impatient. Not everyone has time to walk at toddler pace and you can't expect everyone to slow down and smile indulgently. A toddler is delightful to some and very annoying to others who need to get on with their own day and dont have the time to walk exceptionally slowly

Well he was impatient, rushing a woman with a young dc. If OP could have let him past she would have. Him not having time is irrelevant.

@mainsfed So as my previous posts said, rather than pulling her toddler to one side to say "Lets let the man go ahead" the op tries to hurry her toddler instead. Toddler then falls and she gesticulates at the man like a mad woman. Like I said, people dont know what to do for the best. If the man was still hanging around he may well have been unsure whether the op wanted help or even wanted him to touch her things. Yes he could have asked if things were ok but the op acted skittishly and probably didn't seem very approachable after her toddler had fallen.

OP says there was no room to let him past. Why can’t we believe her? She had bags too so couldn’t even pick dd up.

[quote Cheeseandlobster]@mainsfed So as my previous posts said, rather than pulling her toddler to one side to say "Lets let the man go ahead" the op tries to hurry her toddler instead. Toddler then falls and she gesticulates at the man like a mad woman. Like I said, people dont know what to do for the best. If the man was still hanging around he may well have been unsure whether the op wanted help or even wanted him to touch her things. Yes he could have asked if things were ok but the op acted skittishly and probably didn't seem very approachable after her toddler had fallen.[/quote]
Ugh, I really dislike these armchair pronouncements bringing judgment down on people without any compassion. Back in the real world OP I totally get how it happened. The path to and from our school is narrow and people behave very impatiently when others are guiding young children along to the point the person in front gets stressed and starts to hurry their little one along. If you are one of these huffy in a hurry types, just stop for a second and consider: walking a bit slower and letting a child go at their pace is not going to make much of a difference to you. So just stop! Here ends the lecture.

He’s an arse for rushing past you just to sit in his car and do nothing, he clearly wasn’t in a rush so could have been a bit more patient. And most polite people would have at least asked if she was okay, or offered to help you, covid or no covid.

How dare he be on the pavement at the same time as you!!
He didn't knock your daughter over, he didn't shove you out of the way so it's not his fault she fell over
Especially in these times I wouldn't want a stranger touching my shopping and I wouldn't want a stranger to touch my child at any time. I'm pretty sure you would have been equally annoyed if he had touched your shopping.
It wasn't anyone's fault. Toddlers fall over all the time. You have obviously decided he was to blame though so why ask.

Surely most people would have moved their child in front on them and stepped to aside to let someone past? It irritates the crap out of me too when I'm walking at a normal pace and then I end up on the heels of someone else and no matter how much I say excuse me and try to get past they don't move. Elderly and disabled people different but even then most get out of the way to let me go by. The other day I was trying to get out of tescos and family of about 5 people were walking side by side blocking the entire walkway up. Totally oblivious to anyone around them. Not all of us has time to dilly dally about.

@Moonwatcher1234 its not about compassion. Its about common sense. Of course I feel sorry for the dd hurting herself but the op could have put her bags down for a second and picked her dd up. The whole world does not stop for a toddler. It just doesn't. Other people have things they need to do. There was a thread on here a while ago where someone was letting their toddler dilly dally on a staircase to a train station. The parents were looking on indulgently. The op was a person hurrying for a train and the general consensus was they were not being unreasonable. Toddlers dont trump everyone else. They need to explore the world but not to the extent where they may make others late

Not RTFT

The initial bit- dunno really.

I would have pulled over as it were.

But also I mean dunno how long the alley was but assuming not half a mile or something he was being impatient.

So.. meh.

His behaviour afterwards with watching your kid hurt, not saying anything (?), and then sitting in his car and staring (not in a rush then after all eh?!) was really bad.

Plenty of men quite enjoy being shit to women esp with little kids (even more vulnerable/ unlikely to do anything back).

So yes he was a bastard but put it out of your mind.

I hope not too many posters have said you did everything wrong and his reaction was aok but based on previous experience I suspect sitting and staring at you etc was aok blah blah.

What he did was intimidating and unwarranted and YANBU.

Its so weird that he just sat and stared at you lol
I would have done the same as you tbh, it really wouldn't have hurt him to help you pick up the shopping ffs

If someone fell over or dropped something in front of me I would help or ask if they were ok regardless if it was there own fault, it's just instinctive & I certainly wouldn't just sit & watch. That's odd.

@mainsfed

OP says there was no room to let him past. Why can’t we believe her? She had bags too so couldn’t even pick dd up.

Because the man did get past eventually?

Good manners would have been for you to turn round and apologise for holding him up.

😆, is he incapable of saying excuse me?

He was a knob. Anybody with manners would have helped you and he obviously had the time since he sat in his car.

To be fair, I think most men would be a little reluctant to go to the aid of an unknown hurt child, especially when their mother is obviously on the scene so no need for external help. If he had gone to help, OP would likely be posting how inappropriate it was and he should have left her to it.

He could have just asked if she was ok without touching or breaking social
distance measures.
Or just not stared.

You're being an idiot.

🤔

Because the man did get past eventually

Yes, by knocking a 3yo down.

Maybe indulging a toddler in a busy Saturday was part of the problem here

Did you expect him to slowly loiter behind saying ‘awwww isn’t she adorable’??

The reaching is ridiculous but quite amusing

statistically it's far more likely this bloke was just a dickhead rather than having ASD.

True dat

Because the man did get past eventually

Yes, by knocking a 3yo down.

Are people just making up their own versions of this story? He didn’t knock the child down. OP said her child tripped over because they were rushing to try and let him pass.

Elderly and disabled people different but even then most get out of the way to let me go by.

How do you know who's disabled or not?

Are people just making up their own versions of this story? He didn’t knock the child down. OP said her child tripped over because they were rushing to try and let him pass.

The OP says: As he rushed past us my DD fell and everything in her hands fell onto the ground

@Viviennemary

Why didnt you stand aside and let him go past. I cant stand being behind dawdling folk who've got all the time in the world.

Agree

The OP also says: she fell as he was passing. To me, that’s not the same thing as someone knocking someone else over. You can pass/rush by someone and be a long way off from making physical contact. It doesn’t say that any physical contact was made, just that the child fell as he rushed past. Perhaps I’m misinterpreting it and I’m happy to be corrected by OP if I am, but it’s not how it reads to me at all.