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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband booked a holiday,I don't want to do,aibu?

605 replies

breadbreadwine · 22/05/2021 10:44

My husband has booked a holiday for the half term.
I thought fab,just what we need...till he told me he has bought a 6 man tent and we are going away to Scotland for a week in a tent.
He's booked a parkdene tent holiday.
It was £155 for 4 of us and he has paid £700 for a tent.
He has bought sleeping bags,fridge etc
He said it's to save money.

Aibu here ?
A week in a tent in Scotland with 2 kids who don't sleep anyway.
I'm not high maintenance but I'm worried about the toilet /shower situation

I'm not happy

OP posts:
MrMucker · 22/05/2021 11:42

I just looked on eBay for 6 person tents which have recently sold for around the £700 pound mark.
They are all without exception a mile away from the discomfort implied in lots of the responses.
In fact a couple of them look more comfortable than my house.
Ungrateful much.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 11:42

@MrMucker

It's a six person tent, presumably quite swanky for that price, and a fridge, and there will only be four people using it, two of them not adult sized. If you're driving there (assumed) you can take airbeds, duvets, sports equipment, unlimited clothing, food treats, games, whatever. And it's all stored in the car for you right next to where you sleep. So as far as camping goes, it's not exactly roughing it. It is also a tent that can be used many times-you can book a site cheap as chips and not worry about paying to stay somewhere, over and over again. I don't get how someone who has provided this as a surprise is then labelled selfish and controlling. I also don't get why the concern is "I'm worried about showering" when you could be thinking of how the kids get to live unrestricted and wear themselves out like on no other holiday. They can also meet other kids and stay out later than usual, as you'll always have them in sight. They'll love it. They'll stop bickering too, if that's what they usually do, because fresh air. And if the kids are worn out, you get more peace, shower facilities or not. You can read a book in peace, you can snooze, go for a wander, meet other campers, forget household chores, and sleep far better than usual. So he's provided those opportunities for you, and you're annoyed?

Don't go them. All the more room for the three of them in the tent. But you'll feel a bit jealous when they get back, mind.

You don't get how someone might despise camping and using a toilet and shower block? Yes, you do, just couldn't resist a chance to be judgemental.

I love heights. I used to rock climb long crack routes, set up abseils and topropes, clean topropes and abseil down. I love zip lines, exposed ridges, sky diving.

I have a friend who does not like heights or exposure at all. I would not expect her to thank me for the opportunity to do something she doesn't fucking like. That would make me a shit friend.

LOL that she'd be jealous once I got back from being on a multi-pitch crack climb with abseil descent.

Lweji · 22/05/2021 11:42

But you'll feel a bit jealous when they get back, mind.

I certainly wouldn't and the OP probably neither. Grin

Instead, I'd very much appreciate having a lazy week for myself at home without three children to cater for.

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 11:43

@MrMucker

I just looked on eBay for 6 person tents which have recently sold for around the £700 pound mark. They are all without exception a mile away from the discomfort implied in lots of the responses. In fact a couple of them look more comfortable than my house. Ungrateful much.
PM the OP! You can go with her h and show your gratitude to him, the Great I Am, on the trip.
pepsicolagirl · 22/05/2021 11:44

My husband bought a tent a few weeks ago too!!!
He knows I dislike camping but our 6yr old asked his dad if they could try camping so OH bought a tent.

No stress, it arrived and I told them I hope they have fun cus I won't be sleeping in it (not least because he has literally just bought the tent and has no other gear), I will be in a hotel nearby with our daughter which he will be paying for

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 11:45

@Definitelyrandom

Haven’t been camping since I was a child and like a hotel room with an en-suite bathroom as much as anyone, but I don’t think I would be as upset as most here. Dumfries and Galloway is a lovely part of the world, and presumably the children would enjoy camping? Ours would have loved it (but would have been a bit sniffy about the children’s entertainment). Give it a go, OP, and you might actually enjoy it.
Why should she? He can go on his own as he's so keen to 'give it a go'.
Lweji · 22/05/2021 11:45

Ungrateful much.

There's always one.

Blueskytoday06 · 22/05/2021 11:45

You could have stayed in a caravan / lodge for that. I paid £800 for a gold standard (dishwasher / I know, get me) in Cornwall in July.

I think perhaps a weekend would be fun but unless you're young I'm not sure I could stick out a week.

VillanellesOrangeCoat · 22/05/2021 11:46

@MrMucker The thing is, camping is very ‘marmite’ - you either love it or hate it. So it would seem sensible to check first if you don’t already know that your partner would love it. Even if you want to do it as a surprise there are ways to ask, then when you’re sure they’re up for it go right ahead and spend a ton of money & book it.
Why the heck should she be grateful for something she knows she’ll hate.

Notaroadrunner · 22/05/2021 11:46

@IEat

If he booked a lazy beach holiday (or something you like) you’d have been ok with the booking ? But because you don’t want to go camping you’re annoyed, does he like the holidays you normally go on?
There should have been a discussion about the holiday. Doesn't matter what either of them like, op was entitled to be consulted so they could at least compromise.
mam0918 · 22/05/2021 11:47

£155 for a caravan holiday at centerparks I would be fine with (actually quite excited) but camping and a £700 tent I would be fuming.

Its just not practical and its crazy money, our staycation honeymoon cost less.

notacooldad · 22/05/2021 11:49

To me camping has become a spur of the moment activity as the weather isn't predictable as it once was. I wouldn't plan a main uk holiday around camping. I would camp if it was Spain or France but not pre plan Scotland until a few days before
I'd see if you can get a caravan holiday. Keep the tent for nice weather weekends

MrMucker · 22/05/2021 11:49

Wow-previous posters getting acerbic and calling me judgemental.
All I have said is that there are numerous pros to the holiday he has intended, and additionally he has intended to do a nice thing because he was convinced that those pros were enough to make a good time for them all. Also, it is clearly a luxury item in terms of what it is, and perhaps OP has missed that mitigation.
If he got it wrong, he got it wrong, but why get sweary and shouty at me for pointing those things out?!
What is wrong with this place?

Twistered · 22/05/2021 11:50

Why don't you give it a try? You never know it might be the best experience ever. Long walks or cycles, exploring the area, chill out reading a good book, family outdoor games like rounders or makeshift obstacle courses, meeting new people at the site, kids making new friends, lunch at the local pub, ice creams and wee days out, Lazy BBQs, chip butties from the nearby chippie, drinks at night by the campfire ..... give it a go sure.
You can make the tent all warm and cosy, use windbreakers outside, put twinkling fairy lights up, get an inflatable sofa for extra comfort for chilling, buy bats and balls for the kids, teach them to play chess and have a tournament.... This really could be the perfect relaxing holiday if you buy into it and give it a go Smile

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 11:50

@Lweji

But you'll feel a bit jealous when they get back, mind.

I certainly wouldn't and the OP probably neither. Grin

Instead, I'd very much appreciate having a lazy week for myself at home without three children to cater for.

Me, neither. DD loves camping, so does DH. DS and I, nah. We compromise but they camp without us as they know we're not into it.
Mrsjayy · 22/05/2021 11:50

There will be a toilet block with showers so try and not worry about that. Just go make the best of it might turn out alright if not sell the tent tut at your husband for evermore. Yanbu though he really should have consulted you about a bloody tent!

hettie · 22/05/2021 11:51

We have camped a lot, when we had less cash it was the only holiday we could do. I've many aspects of it, but these days only go under the following conditions:
No more than 4 nights
Only if weather looks ok
Somewhere not too regimented and where we can have a fire.
This time of year it will be really cold at night. We also have really good thick self inflating matts that are as comfy as a mattress ...so also sleep ok.
You could try it, but you might not like it. Your DH absolutely should have considered your views and not spent cash without you all trying it for a weekend. The upsides are that the tent will probably re sell for a similar price as long as you put it up carefully, dry it thoroughly and treat it well on site

osbertthesyrianhamster · 22/05/2021 11:53

@Mrsjayy

There will be a toilet block with showers so try and not worry about that. Just go make the best of it might turn out alright if not sell the tent tut at your husband for evermore. Yanbu though he really should have consulted you about a bloody tent!
Some people wouldn't be able to not worry about it Hmm. Some people won't be able to sleep in the fucking tent.
EKGEMS · 22/05/2021 11:53

Mr Mucker I think you have a typo in your moniker-you put an M where an F should be. "Ungrateful much?" I wouldn't set foot in a tent as a holiday and it has nothing to do with gratitude

AnnaMagnani · 22/05/2021 11:54

Camping is great fun for kids

Is it? I went camping several times as a child and it is those experiences that have given me my lifelong hatred of camping.

Sn0tnose · 22/05/2021 11:55

So he's provided those opportunities for you, and you're annoyed? These are not opportunities if the person doesn’t enjoy camping.

Don't go them. All the more room for the three of them in the tent. But you'll feel a bit jealous when they get back, mind. I wouldn’t be. It sounds like hell on earth. I’d rather be working (and I do not love my job!)

In your position, I’d be giving him two options. Either he takes the kids by himself or he gets the tent back on eBay and sees if he can transfer the camping fee to an upgrade to a caravan at the same site. And tell him if he ever books a family holiday without discussing it with you again, then you’ll start doing it too.

intheenddoesitreallymatter · 22/05/2021 11:55

£700 on a second hand tent?! What a Wally.

Cancel if you can, if you can’t then I don’t think you have much option but to go unless you can afford to take this on the chin and book something else.

Camping is always hellish the first couple of times you go. There’s always something you forget or struggle with.

AnxiousWeirdo · 22/05/2021 11:55

I don't do camping, I've tried it, I hate it. He absolutely should have talked to you first, yes £155 for a holiday is cheap but £700 on a tent is not! You could have had a week in a nice caravan for £850... I know you don't get to keep it like you do the tent but bloody hell. Good luck!

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 22/05/2021 11:56

Actually I'm just here because I want to know what make and model the tent is. I'm thinking at that price it is probably an airbeam.

Wanderlust20 · 22/05/2021 11:57

My DH would know better than to do this to me Grin Not my cuppa tea and he knows it.

Also, you said something about him wanting to save money yet he's bought all this gear including a £700 tent?! I'd be fuming. He could have used that money to book holiday accommodation like a nice lodge or something!